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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#601
I don't really know what you mean by gender roles. I do tend to eat like a teenage boy most of the time though. I am on my own most of the time for meals and I don't cook so eating frozen burritos and cereal is just easy. I don't really like have high expectations when it comes to food either. Frozen pizza is just as good as restaruant pizza to me and Dennys sirloin steak is just as good to me as an expensive steakhouse. I got out of the habit of going out to eat once covid hit. I guess I just view food as like a way to survive most days and so eating doesn't bring me any joy, if anything I've been scared to eat because of my stomach problems. And yeah I do also want to look a certain way so I am very particular about food and keeping things in check. Things lately have been kind of unintenional/intenional at the same time which people don't seem to understand especially my therapist. I think my pdoc gets it but he is in another state and I do telehealth with him.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jun 19, 2022 at 04:05 PM.. |
downandlonely, unaluna
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unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#602
Gender roles and food: traditionally, the mom feeds the family? Not when i was growing up, tho. My dad used to make my lunch until i learned how to. My brother made me cereal before school because my mother slept in after working til 3 am. My cousins wife, who i mentioned below, got married the same time i did, but she went whole hog wife. Doesnt drive on the freeway, etc.
One time i was staying up north with a friend, her mother made 3 meals a day with place settings. I was like, no wonder your mother was voted woman of the year! (Not kidding). They just have a different mindset about food. But im beginning to suspect it has something to do with feeling taken care of, which i never did feel. And knowing how to take care of yourself. Hoarding is another symptom of when this fails. |
downandlonely
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#603
My stomach was a mess again today and eating made things worse. I just ate a bowl of cereal an hour ago which was ok. I'm not sure on dinner. I see my therapist tommorow afternoon and I don't know what she has planned if her supervisor will be there. I want to be honest with this lady my therapist is bringing in but I've been honest before about this and its gotten me switched twice to different therapists I never ended up working with and sent to IOP once and I narrowly avoided being sent IP. Its like they just keep handing me off yet I still never get anywhere.
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downandlonely
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#604
I hate food. It makes me sick and anxious all the time.
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downandlonely
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indigo1015
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#605
It annoys me when people are all like "look at that fit dude inhaling that burrito. He can eat whatever he wants to and not gain weight" um thats not how that works. I ate only fennel hours after the burrito and I'm waiting for some tuna to be delivered so I can have a can of that for dinner. I didn't really restrict at least according to my standards. Probably to my therapist I did. I'm on a new med that causes loss of appeitite and I'm in general feeling unwell and not like eating. I guess I may be in denial but there is also legit medical stuff going on too.
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downandlonely
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#606
I read the media influences eating disorders. I know I started to have legit issues after my top surgery. And I heard its common for trans men to develop eating disorders when their main source of dysphroia is their chest. Then when they get that taken care of they move onto other parts of themselves they see as flaws. I know once Elliot Page came out it kinda motivated me. He is 5'1 though and I'm 5'5 so he is going to be smaller then me no matter what. My therapist today told me my goal is ok but that I'd look a bit scrawny with my height. I don't know if she thinks I won't pass as well or what. She told me guys are supposed to be bigger then women. She talks so much in code because she trys not to offend me.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#607
I haven't been dxd with an eating disorder. My weight fluctuates ''too much'' though.. lately I've been eating a lot more. This isn't that good..., I'm barely sleeping so am much more hungry. Ugh.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#608
My new therapist specializes in eating disorders and I've been restricting lately mainly due to my new med. Today was pretty bad but I'm not sure it was on purpose or not or just subconsiously restricting. I basically just didn't have an appetite.
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downandlonely
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#611
Today I've been in between being really hungry and not hungry at all. When I do get hungry I'll eat an apple sauce and be fine. Its been kind of confusing. I mostly like the way I look but I wish I didn't look like I was 10 years younger and I wish people didn't have to point out that my body shape my face looks like a college students. Theres only so many brands of clothes I can wear too that arent too big so most of the time it is the stuff geared towards college kids that fit me the best. I am getting some pretty good deals though because of their back to school sales.
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downandlonely
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
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#614
I'm worried about my brother in law, my mom has noticed it too. Yet I eat 30 tic tacs and call it breakfast, so maybe I should just worry about myself.
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downandlonely
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#615
Orange tictacs are soooo good.
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Mountaindewed
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Legendary
downandlonely
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#616
I have never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I have used food to cope with emotions, so I believe that counts. I have found Overeaters Anonymous helpful, but not really the food plan. I liked the 12 steps for spiritual healing.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
(SuperPoster!)
8,655 hugs
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#617
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
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#618
I started restricting again. I just ate a couple mango slices and a cup of black coffee for breakfast/lunch. Still getting in dinner though so nobody is worried.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#619
Oh, man! I never saw those!
I was a lifesavers maniac when i was a kid. And yes my teeth are a bit of a mess now. But butter scotch and butter rum - yum. Of course, those are bona fide hard candies. My parents knew i was crunching, not sucking, them, but they couldnt stop me. |
Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
(SuperPoster!)
8,655 hugs
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#620
I ate 15 tic tacs and a Slim Fast for breakfast. That was the only disordered thing I did today. I didn't really restrict in general today. I just stuck to my own personal goal which my therapist says is too low but other therapists and doctors would say the goal is fine. But yeah I know I should listen to my own therapist.
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