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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#681
Didn't truly binge (just had yogurt and applesauce), but purged anyway this morning. In DBT today she taught me the STOP skill and rational/emotion/wise mind skills and I think if I practice them, it'll help.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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#682
Food has still been making me anxious. It seems to be a physical thing. Like I get hungry and then I get anxious afterwards. It seems sort of backwards. I'm still eating though although today I did a lot of just picking at stuff.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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#683
Hunger can nauseous. Are you sure that your nausea and heartburn don’t have any side effects that could cause the hunger?
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,020
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6 10k hugs
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#684
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,686
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#685
I cant believe you throw out your meds so capriciously! Then again, i have 8 year old ambien in my drug box.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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#686
I'm not restricting really today. At least not really on purpose. I'm kinda heavy on the diet products though. In general I just haven't been hungry for various reasons including emotionally.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,020
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6 10k hugs
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#687
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Mountaindewed
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Mountaindewed
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#688
Things are not going well on the eating disorder front. I'm super anxious about going back to work even though it's the lowest-key job out there so the b/p is out of control.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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#689
I like my therapist a lot but she got me hooked on Mio, those flavored drops you add to water and we often spend some of our session talking about various diet foods we both eat. I'm not sure thats really helpful? Like why does she never go into a session asking me if I ate a burger instead of asking if I've tried protein diet cheese crackers.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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#690
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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8 9,474 hugs
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#691
I'm drinking a lot of Mio and eating a lot of mini bags of Skinny Pop popcorn. I worked out this morning and did so many squats, dead lifts, and side bends with my kettle bell weight, that my legs felt like jello afterwards. It was a good work out though and I didn't push myself too much.
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Buffy01, unaluna
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Buffy01
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#692
after yesterday (purged three times), I'm afraid to eat. All I had today so far was a protein bar after some HIIT. I'm going to be busy tomorrow so it'll probably be another day of restriction.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,020
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#693
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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#694
it has been one of the worst weeks for eating ever
3 takeouts, a homemade pizza, and the rest chicken out of said meals, only the takeouts stayed down. I'm starving! |
Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,020
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6 10k hugs
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#695
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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#696
I worked out again today. I haven't been too hungry but I wouldn't call it restricting since I legit haven't been hungry.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,201
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4 5,927 hugs
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#697
I don't even want to recover. I don't mind if this kills me.
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Buffy01, unaluna
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Buffy01
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,191
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8 9,474 hugs
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#698
I thought I was spacing my food out pretty good today. But then I realized I haven't eaten anything substantial since 7:30AM and now its almost 4 and I'm wondering why I'm about to have a major panic attack. I mean, I ate pretty much fine quality wise. Just my time management sucked. Dinner is in the oven. I didn't push the workout today.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,020
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6 10k hugs
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#699
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,201
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,927 hugs
given |
#700
Cookies, pizza, applesauce, cereal, a protein bar-- all in a half digested pile in the woods somewhere.... it's almost scary how good at purging I've become.
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