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Default Nov 07, 2022 at 02:56 PM
  #681
Didn't truly binge (just had yogurt and applesauce), but purged anyway this morning. In DBT today she taught me the STOP skill and rational/emotion/wise mind skills and I think if I practice them, it'll help.

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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 04:24 PM
  #682
Food has still been making me anxious. It seems to be a physical thing. Like I get hungry and then I get anxious afterwards. It seems sort of backwards. I'm still eating though although today I did a lot of just picking at stuff.

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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 06:41 PM
  #683
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I did something stupid and I threw out my nausea and heartburn meds this morning because after I'd take them I would get super hungry. I kept my stomach pain med though. So I haven't been hungry I've just been nauseated instead.
Hunger can nauseous. Are you sure that your nausea and heartburn don’t have any side effects that could cause the hunger?

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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 06:42 PM
  #684
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Food has still been making me anxious. It seems to be a physical thing. Like I get hungry and then I get anxious afterwards. It seems sort of backwards. I'm still eating though although today I did a lot of just picking at stuff.
That is understandable.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 11, 2022 at 11:13 PM
  #685
I cant believe you throw out your meds so capriciously! Then again, i have 8 year old ambien in my drug box.
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 12:47 PM
  #686
I'm not restricting really today. At least not really on purpose. I'm kinda heavy on the diet products though. In general I just haven't been hungry for various reasons including emotionally.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 01:33 PM
  #687
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I'm not restricting really today. At least not really on purpose. I'm kinda heavy on the diet products though. In general I just haven't been hungry for various reasons including emotionally.
I understand how your feeling.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 03:32 PM
  #688
Things are not going well on the eating disorder front. I'm super anxious about going back to work even though it's the lowest-key job out there so the b/p is out of control.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 04:13 PM
  #689
I like my therapist a lot but she got me hooked on Mio, those flavored drops you add to water and we often spend some of our session talking about various diet foods we both eat. I'm not sure thats really helpful? Like why does she never go into a session asking me if I ate a burger instead of asking if I've tried protein diet cheese crackers.

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Default Nov 12, 2022 at 07:20 PM
  #690
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Things are not going well on the eating disorder front. I'm super anxious about going back to work even though it's the lowest-key job out there so the b/p is out of control.
I’m sorry that your feeling anxious. It normal to feel this way.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 13, 2022 at 03:20 PM
  #691
I'm drinking a lot of Mio and eating a lot of mini bags of Skinny Pop popcorn. I worked out this morning and did so many squats, dead lifts, and side bends with my kettle bell weight, that my legs felt like jello afterwards. It was a good work out though and I didn't push myself too much.

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Default Nov 13, 2022 at 04:56 PM
  #692
after yesterday (purged three times), I'm afraid to eat. All I had today so far was a protein bar after some HIIT. I'm going to be busy tomorrow so it'll probably be another day of restriction.

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Default Nov 13, 2022 at 07:22 PM
  #693
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I'm drinking a lot of Mio and eating a lot of mini bags of Skinny Pop popcorn. I worked out this morning and did so many squats, dead lifts, and side bends with my kettle bell weight, that my legs felt like jello afterwards. It was a good work out though and I didn't push myself too much.
Sometimes I feel like that when I do different yoga.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 14, 2022 at 11:22 AM
  #694
it has been one of the worst weeks for eating ever

3 takeouts, a homemade pizza, and the rest chicken

out of said meals, only the takeouts stayed down. I'm starving!
 
 
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Default Nov 14, 2022 at 01:12 PM
  #695
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it has been one of the worst weeks for eating ever

3 takeouts, a homemade pizza, and the rest chicken

out of said meals, only the takeouts stayed down. I'm starving!
I’m sorry that you are struggling right now.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 14, 2022 at 01:53 PM
  #696
I worked out again today. I haven't been too hungry but I wouldn't call it restricting since I legit haven't been hungry.

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Trig Nov 18, 2022 at 01:45 PM
  #697
I don't even want to recover. I don't mind if this kills me.

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Default Nov 19, 2022 at 03:46 PM
  #698
I thought I was spacing my food out pretty good today. But then I realized I haven't eaten anything substantial since 7:30AM and now its almost 4 and I'm wondering why I'm about to have a major panic attack. I mean, I ate pretty much fine quality wise. Just my time management sucked. Dinner is in the oven. I didn't push the workout today.

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Heart Nov 19, 2022 at 06:00 PM
  #699
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I thought I was spacing my food out pretty good today. But then I realized I haven't eaten anything substantial since 7:30AM and now its almost 4 and I'm wondering why I'm about to have a major panic attack. I mean, I ate pretty much fine quality wise. Just my time management sucked. Dinner is in the oven. I didn't push the workout today.
I haven’t really eaten today. Sometimes I forget to eat.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 20, 2022 at 10:44 AM
  #700
Cookies, pizza, applesauce, cereal, a protein bar-- all in a half digested pile in the woods somewhere.... it's almost scary how good at purging I've become.

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