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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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#681
Didn't truly binge (just had yogurt and applesauce), but purged anyway this morning. In DBT today she taught me the STOP skill and rational/emotion/wise mind skills and I think if I practice them, it'll help.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#682
Food has still been making me anxious. It seems to be a physical thing. Like I get hungry and then I get anxious afterwards. It seems sort of backwards. I'm still eating though although today I did a lot of just picking at stuff.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
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#683
Hunger can nauseous. Are you sure that your nausea and heartburn don’t have any side effects that could cause the hunger?
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
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9,664 hugs
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#684
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
me?Thanks!
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,753
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#685
I cant believe you throw out your meds so capriciously! Then again, i have 8 year old ambien in my drug box.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,843
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#686
I'm not restricting really today. At least not really on purpose. I'm kinda heavy on the diet products though. In general I just haven't been hungry for various reasons including emotionally.
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
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9,664 hugs
given |
#687
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Mountaindewed
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Mountaindewed
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
given |
#688
Things are not going well on the eating disorder front. I'm super anxious about going back to work even though it's the lowest-key job out there so the b/p is out of control.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,843
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#689
I like my therapist a lot but she got me hooked on Mio, those flavored drops you add to water and we often spend some of our session talking about various diet foods we both eat. I'm not sure thats really helpful? Like why does she never go into a session asking me if I ate a burger instead of asking if I've tried protein diet cheese crackers.
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
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9,664 hugs
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#690
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,843
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#691
I'm drinking a lot of Mio and eating a lot of mini bags of Skinny Pop popcorn. I worked out this morning and did so many squats, dead lifts, and side bends with my kettle bell weight, that my legs felt like jello afterwards. It was a good work out though and I didn't push myself too much.
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Buffy01, unaluna
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Buffy01
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Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
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4,819 hugs
given |
#692
after yesterday (purged three times), I'm afraid to eat. All I had today so far was a protein bar after some HIIT. I'm going to be busy tomorrow so it'll probably be another day of restriction.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
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9,664 hugs
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#693
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
|
Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
given |
#695
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,843
(SuperPoster!)
8,656 hugs
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#696
I worked out again today. I haven't been too hungry but I wouldn't call it restricting since I legit haven't been hungry.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Buffy01
|
Buffy01
|
Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
given |
#697
I don't even want to recover. I don't mind if this kills me.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |
Buffy01, unaluna
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Buffy01
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,843
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8,656 hugs
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#698
I thought I was spacing my food out pretty good today. But then I realized I haven't eaten anything substantial since 7:30AM and now its almost 4 and I'm wondering why I'm about to have a major panic attack. I mean, I ate pretty much fine quality wise. Just my time management sucked. Dinner is in the oven. I didn't push the workout today.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Buffy01
|
Buffy01
|
Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
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#699
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
|
Monster on the Hill
MuddyBoots
Bricks through the window and I think it's time I
go
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093
(SuperPoster!)
4,819 hugs
given |
#700
Cookies, pizza, applesauce, cereal, a protein bar-- all in a half digested pile in the woods somewhere.... it's almost scary how good at purging I've become.
__________________ If any chord that I could strum Make me feel less like a man I'd slam my fingers in the doorway And shatter all the bones So I could never strum again |