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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
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#901
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
given |
#902
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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MuddyBoots
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MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#903
I wasn't restricting calorie wise until about 2 hours ago when my stomach really started acting up. But I did what my therapist said and snacked my way through the morning. Mostly on chips and Pepsi. I had a couple granola bars too and some coffee. But I've taken 3/4 doses of my stomach meds and my PM geodon and so far my appetite is still gone. I'm too lazy and tired to even get up out of bed.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,165
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,852 hugs
given |
#904
Idk why I'm bulimic
4am questions
Possible trigger:
But at the same time she's telling me I'll always struggle with being self-destructive thoughts just because I grew up in a shytty environment and got shytty genes. __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. Last edited by MuddyBoots; Jun 18, 2023 at 03:56 AM.. |
Buffy01
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#905
struggling.
picked at breakfast today leaving quite a bit of it on the plate really hungry now, but I can't be bothered to eat for some reason |
MuddyBoots
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
given |
#906
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#907
I feel so sick and I'm in a ton of stomach pain but I wonder how much of it is related to me not eating since 8:30AM. I didn't eat with my meds and some of them you need to have food. I'm fixing some plain black bean pasta right now for dinner and then I'll be able to tell if restricting was actually my issue today.
Edit: eating 2oz of pasta did get rid of my stomach pain and also some of ny anxiety too. __________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jun 18, 2023 at 04:57 PM.. |
MuddyBoots
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#908
I am so hungry.
yesterday I managed to eat a small dinner, then overfilled on chocolate and candy. I ate some fresh fruit this morning, and I'm still hungry I'm so ****ing fed up of it, I mean it's a simple thing (I mean it's meant to be simple), fill your own body up so you don't starve I can't manage it |
MuddyBoots
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#909
I'm losing faith in this whole eating thing..
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MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#910
I had some Green Giant corn this morning and then I went out and when I came home I had a granola bar but I just now was on the verge of collasping so I ate a Clif bar. I don't know. I took my morning meds with saltine crackers and water. I got coffee which may have been a mistake. My legs just feel like jello right now. I can't seem to balance this stomach issue with my food issues.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
MuddyBoots
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,880
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12 66.4k hugs
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#911
Bleeding ulcers can cause anemia, i read. Maybe thats why youre so tired all the time? Plus with that breakthru bleeding yesterday. Can urgent care check for anemia?
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#912
I'm seeing my gynecolgist a week from Wednesday. I spoke with a nurse who said it seemed ok to wait until I can get into the office unless things get worse.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
unaluna
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MuddyBoots, unaluna
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
given |
#913
I missed lunch because my sister didn’t bring me any lunch which upset my sister so she didn’t eat :grouphug. I was able to find :hug the emotional wound and validate the feelings .
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
MuddyBoots
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#914
hungry again, despite eating a full meal yesterday, overate on chips, and breakfast this morning.
fed up of it now if I'm honest, this constant hunger. |
MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,165
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,852 hugs
given |
#915
My body is starting to settle down a bit. I'm still bloated, gassy, and constipated, but not as much.
I got some protein shake powder. I have canned salmon and tuna. There's some chicken and plant based beef in the freezer for proteins. Have a variety of nuts, so healthy fats. Oatmeal, Cheerios, almond butter, almond and soy milk, yogurt, frozen fruits and veggies. I'm not binging on anymore of my mom's fking moose tracks ice cream and the most calorie dense desert recipe she can find on the internet anymore just to feel guilty and have it come back up with some acid and blood, feel even more guilty, and then pass out within the hour and wake up feeling like sh-it. I'm done. If I'm going to be self-destructive it's going to be with alcohol. At least I'll feel good during some of it and then not remember half of it instead of from the start "don't do it...don't do it...fk I'm doing it." And at least it's not going to be as painful as a death. __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#916
I got some healthy stuff today like an eggplant and a can of tomatoes and a bag of frozen butternut squash and some other stuff so I can try being healthy instead of living off chips Clif Bars and soda. Today I'm just not hungry and I am below my goal. I didn't eat any chips or Clif Bars though but I had 2 Cokes.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
MuddyBoots
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
given |
#917
I’m over eating while trying :sadhug to lose weight
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
MuddyBoots
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,237
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,783 hugs
given |
#918
I was doing good with eating until a couple hours ago. I'm out of Zofran currently so I took 2 Dramine nausea ginger chews. Which just made things worse. The 3rd dose of my stomach meds didn't help either. I ate pretty good overall but it was just mostly in the morning.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,165
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,852 hugs
given |
#919
One week b/p free! (Though I've been drinking like every day so that's kinda my replacement "coping skill"). I can sh-it again!
__________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,712 hugs
given |
#920
I am messing up on my diet
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |