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Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover
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Location: Kentucky, USA
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#121
Helps if you are aware of what is really causing those issues. Eating will never solve the underlying issues that are really causing our ED'S. I heard them get that in treatment for overeating & bulimia but somehow they never applied it to the anorexia I was dealing with.
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
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#122
Today has gone well. I overate last night. I wanted that full feeling in my stomach. If I feel that way again today, I will have soup.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#124
I did some stress eating last night. I'll just eat junk today. I don't feel like cooking.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
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#125
It's 5pm and still haven't ate today. Nothing to cook no money to buy something.
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ReveuseTroublee
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Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: France
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#126
I feel the urge to purge and excercise compulsively more and more. If I could (I do not allow myself to for obvious reasons) I would purge and abuse lax again, maybe meds... I mean I already lost control but I don't want all damage.
I feel so disgusted when I look at myself. I feel guilty for eating, for existing. Food makes me feel nauseous. Life makes feel nauseous. I feel closer to God and more pure if I reduce it and I feel like I am a better athlete then. Food makes me feel dirty and disgusting and (even more) fat. I am always agitated, irritable and on the edge. I am restricting greatly... I feel like this is more so because of my current situation. I feel like I am completely losing control. I try to keep everything together. But there are so many issues right now. I can not be everywhere... But this gives me at least an illusion of control. I hope that does not trigger... Since I still express how I feel. I feel like at the moment this is better than all the other self-destructive behaviors and has at least some benefits or feels like that. |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
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#127
I am very angry with myself tonight. I ate taco bell for lunch. (It was cinco de mayo). Then when I got home from church, I had crackers and then ice cream. I have a medical clearance appointment tomorrow and have the urge to be smaller than I was just a few days ago. I shouldn't have ate all that. What if I jeopardized my chances of getting treatment? I am so mad.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
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Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#128
I'm tired of eating vegetables and deli turkey all the time. I decided to order real food. And pies.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Location: Independence, MO
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#129
Am so uncomfortable right now. Had a big dinner and am still uncomfortable hours later. Should never have ate it.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
is napping.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
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#130
I did some bing-eating.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Location: Independence, MO
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#131
Had a consultation with an attorney regarding divorce. Went to my daughter's and had dinner. That's the only time I ate today. Did get a call from EDCare saying they want me in php. Supposed to start Monday morning.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
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#132
I'm trying to eat better.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
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Anonymous32451
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#133
I think I need to learn how to eat slower
today for lunch I had some bacon flavored potato chips, and they still don't feel very digested to me (aqa my stomach still feels very full and I've not even had dinner yet!) I am meant to be having pizza for dinner with garlic bread, but I don't feel like it really.. oh well: it's not for like another hour. we'll see |
Deilla
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
is napping.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
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#134
I've been eating meat and vegetables. I eat very little carbs.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
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#135
Started EDCare 2 weeks ago. I do great while I'm in program. It's when I'm outside of program I struggle. On Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays I am on my own for dinner and hs snack. Tuesdays and Thursdays we have dinner there. Saturday we are on our own for dinner PM snack and hs snack. Sundays all on our own. I micro restrict most days. I almost feel I need more support with all meals. I don't cook so that makes it easier to not eat. It sucks. Am I ever going to get better?
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Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Location: Independence, MO
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#137
So far this weekend I have not met my meal plan. Am I really wanting to recover?
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
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#138
Again, just meat and vegetables.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Magnate
buttrfli42481
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
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#139
Feeling extremely inadequate and anxious. Don't have a scheduled hs snack so why eat even if feeling slightly hungry? I know it is ed voice telling me not to. How do you get it to shut up? Will it ever?
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
is napping.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
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49.2k hugs
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#140
I ate comfort food yesterday. I will try to do better today.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |