it's been okay.

not many snacks today and was able to eat all my main meal (pizza)

didn't enjoy it much though

[Mountaindewed]

I ate a bit more then usual today. But the extra stuff I had tonight was just fruits and vegetables. I had 1,656 calories today when I’m usually more at 1300. Maintenance for me is 1,860 calories. So I was still below. But with this PMS I’m focusing on maintaining for the next couple days instead of gaining or losing. But this morning I lost almost a pound and I had McDonald’s and an ice cream from Dairy Queen yesterday. But only 1,485 calories total for the day. More proof weight loss is mainly calories in vs calories out.

[Deilla]

I'm doing well. I want a snack. I might have an apple.

I am getting takeout tonight.

2 days of choking on my own cooking in a row is enough. I need to eat something!

[Deilla]

I had comfort food today. I had some grits.

I want a ****ing meat pizza

seriously: today I saw adam richmond (man v food) devour a big chicago pizza, and this pizza had all my favorite meats on it

maybe not watch food shows if I'm hungry?

I watched more adam richmond this evening and devoured my paprica chicken in the process

not very filling but I cleared the plate and that's a success in itself..

[Mountaindewed]

I didn’t eat that much today. My PMS is over and now I’m back to not eating much. I had less then a thousand calories today. I’m just not hungry and I don’t feel the need to force myself to eat when I’m not hungry. I had vegetables, fruit, and lean meat. So I ate healthy at least. I did have a bowl of ramen though.

[Deilla]

I had a snack just to eat something. I wasn't hungry. I was stressed.

currently feeling sick to my stomach.

had some sausage rolls today (diffrent ones to usual) that really didn't agree with me much

after battling non purging exercise bulimia for a while i decided to calm down. binge/restrict is horrible. I have not really counted calories since Friday and letting myself eat. Also telling myself to ignore the binging urges and accept they are there. Its going well so far. I am less obsessed with food. i can sit with my body and feel calm. I gained a some weight from the binging and even though it is actually not that much i think it's the end of the world. i am trying not to look in the mirror or weigh myself

Gonna be hard later because I'm mkaing rice and I alwyas measure out two servings when I make it. So i know how many calories. Not sure if i can eat things like rice and oatmeal freely.

Similarly I know the calorie counts in a lot of things, hard not to automatically count them.

[Deilla]

I ate in the middle of the night. I was hungry. But then I didn't eat again for 14 hours.

I had 2 bags of candy yesterday along with my main meal

and I still didn't fill up. bleh

so yeah i started counting my calories again and weighed myself this morning. going to start restricting again. it's unacceptable.

2 words. so hungry..

today I had hamburgers and it was no where near enough.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m still in denial that I have an issue but I guess today there was a bit of disordered thinking and behaviors going on. I chugged 3 diet sodas and a large unsweetened iced tea to avoid my hunger. But I mean I still ate 1200 calories. It’s just confusing and I don’t like talking about my habits with people because they assume stuff I’m not sure is there. But I do body checks every time I look in a mirror and I often weigh myself 2 times a day. My 7 year old nephew commented on my weight loss. He indicated I was fat before. Although they are not allowed to use that word so he said the F word. I didn’t hear the whole conversation. But he was being nice and my mom told him I work hard. But I wonder if it’s an issue if a kid is noticing. I don’t know. I don’t like talking about it irl.

I had no choice but to eat candy yesterday (well I guess I had a choice, but I was so hungry)

today I have eaten sausage rolls for breakfast and planning on mcdonalds for dinner

I just finished my mcdonalds, and actually quite full from it.

no candy tonight!

[Deilla]

I did a lot of stress eating last night. I feel awful about it.

pizza and garlic bread was good today

2 good meals in a row is a bit of a record... go me..