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Buffy01
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Unhappy Feb 07, 2024 at 08:55 PM
  #41
Iíve been working with my therapist who said I need to let go my past trauma which I donít know how to do

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 01:04 PM
  #42
Struggling to maintain diet. Im trying to work more on it, but I can go 4-7 days without eating but I am trying very hard to set reminders and make mental notes.
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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 04:40 PM
  #43
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
Iíve been working with my therapist who said I need to let go my past trauma which I donít know how to do
same

sometimes I even wonder if it's possible
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Default Feb 13, 2024 at 03:53 PM
  #44
I feel really upset that I didn't eat any pancakes today for pancake day

I know... I know. it's only a day and I suppose I can eat them any time. not sure why it upsets me so much

I was going to eat some pancakes, but then I just had meatballs instead..

and I didn't like the meatballs at all. yuck
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Unhappy Feb 13, 2024 at 10:20 PM
  #45
Quote:
Originally Posted by emily1890 View Post
same

sometimes I even wonder if it's possible
me too

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Feb 14, 2024 at 07:24 AM
  #46
I heard this analogy about trauma by this peer support I talked to on the phone.

So, you have a duffel bag and a really nice suitcase with wheels. Your good memories are in the suitcase, easy to move around with lots of useful stuff in there. The bad memories/traumatic experiences are in the duffel bag, zipped up tight, really weighing you down because it's awkward to carry and heavy.

So you have to unzip the duffel bag, take out ONE THING, examine it and change the narrative and how you think about it therefore changing your emotions and behaviors in response to it (very CBT). Then SLOWLY do this with as much as you can in your duffel bag, and eventually it won't weigh you down as much.

For example: I did this recently with the memory of my gf overdosing after I broke up with her. I feel a lot less guilty about that specific event now.

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Default Feb 14, 2024 at 05:04 PM
  #47
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I heard this analogy about trauma by this peer support I talked to on the phone.

So, you have a duffel bag and a really nice suitcase with wheels. Your good memories are in the suitcase, easy to move around with lots of useful stuff in there. The bad memories/traumatic experiences are in the duffel bag, zipped up tight, really weighing you down because it's awkward to carry and heavy.

So you have to unzip the duffel bag, take out ONE THING, examine it and change the narrative and how you think about it therefore changing your emotions and behaviors in response to it (very CBT). Then SLOWLY do this with as much as you can in your duffel bag, and eventually it won't weigh you down as much.

For example: I did this recently with the memory of my gf overdosing after I broke up with her. I feel a lot less guilty about that specific event now.
I have never heard that before, and I guess it could work providing you don't have anymore traumas to fill said bag back up again
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Default Feb 17, 2024 at 07:16 AM
  #48
barely ate much yesterday

need too because I'm starving
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Default Feb 27, 2024 at 03:03 PM
  #49
I don't really get disgusted, but if you do, I suggest flushing the toilet after you pee and before you purge. Especially if you're menstruating with a heavy flow.

"That was NOT the most thoroughly thought out vomit sesh."

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Default Mar 01, 2024 at 05:22 AM
  #50
I have honestly eaten more junk food than proper meals this week

yesterday when I wrote my shopping list, at least 16 of the items listed were chips or candy

and I just don't care. I just don't. it's so difficult
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Default Mar 01, 2024 at 08:58 AM
  #51
soooooo much b/p'ing

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Default Mar 03, 2024 at 02:39 PM
  #52
I wonder if Princess Kate has an eating disorder. If she does I worry its gonna **** up so much stuff. I'm pretty sure benzos didn't become a major issue until after 2012 when people found out Michael Jackson overdosed on Ativan.

I hope shes ok though.

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Default Mar 04, 2024 at 10:26 AM
  #53
I hope she's alright too.

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Default Mar 07, 2024 at 04:32 PM
  #54
all I had to eat today was a bite of burned scampi

all day

I am starving
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Default Mar 09, 2024 at 10:51 AM
  #55
takeout tonight

should be extremely tasty
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Default Mar 11, 2024 at 09:40 AM
  #56
Ate an entire pie and ralphed it because Iím an uncontrollable fatass.

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Default Mar 13, 2024 at 04:24 AM
  #57
I wish I would stop eating food I hate

I eat burgers, hate them. I eat hot dogs, hate them. I eat potatoes, and yes, you guessed it, hate them

I don't know why I do that to myself, though I think it has something to do with the fact that if I ate food I loved, it would be restricted to chocolate and gummy bears and you can't live on that
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Default Mar 13, 2024 at 06:56 AM
  #58
Legit can't tell if there is a shyt ton of blood in my vomit or if I ate something I don't remember in last binge.

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Default Mar 13, 2024 at 05:38 PM
  #59
I'm legit not hungry and my therapist is going to get annoyed but I am not hungry. I'd eat if I were.

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Default Mar 16, 2024 at 04:08 AM
  #60
starving but there's just nothing to fill me.

I can't remember what night this week it was exactly, but I had two huge bags of bacon chips, four chocolate bars, breakfast, dinner, some mcdonalds fries, crackers and two packets of gummy bunny rabbits and I was still hungry
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