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Default Mar 16, 2024 at 02:52 PM
  #61
I've just eaten normally today. Well kind of. I made some potatos but only ate half of them. I shared a regular size Jimmy Johns sandwhich with my mom. Then I drank about 8 of the 12oz of my soda. Idk. It wasn't restricting, just intutive I guess.

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Default Mar 17, 2024 at 02:27 PM
  #62
I am eating dry crackers again

currently they seem to be the only thing I actually enjoy- and they aren't even that filling
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Default Mar 17, 2024 at 06:50 PM
  #63
I skipped dinner but besides that I was fine.

To be honest though I'm not even sure what happened today. I ate a pot pie at 1AM and then not much else after. So maybe I didnr do that good.

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Unhappy Mar 20, 2024 at 03:28 PM
  #64
I found out that pasta is putting weight on me.

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Default Mar 22, 2024 at 12:02 PM
  #65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I found out that pasta is putting weight on me.
You are choosing to eat the pasta. Pasta itself can not cause weight gain.

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Default Mar 22, 2024 at 12:22 PM
  #66
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
You are choosing to eat the pasta. Pasta itself can not cause weight gain.
Bucatini used to call to my mother from the cupboard!
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Default Apr 02, 2024 at 07:45 PM
  #67
Haven't been able to exercise for months now. My dog hurt my shoulder pulling on leash. He ran & tried to chase a stray cat. Dog pulled something in my shoulder area really bad. But I never let go of leash! No animals were harmed! But I sure was..

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Default Apr 06, 2024 at 04:29 AM
  #68
I am not getting full.

something's gotta give soon, I am starving
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Heart Apr 16, 2024 at 02:50 PM
  #69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
You are choosing to eat the pasta. Pasta itself can not cause weight gain.
My doctor recommended that I stop eating pasta like spaghetti and ramen noodles because of the high cholesterol.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Apr 23, 2024 at 07:30 AM
  #70
Back to my peanut butter, yogurt, and spinach diet.

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Default May 03, 2024 at 12:58 PM
  #71
Been taking as much food from pantries I can get and pretty much cleaning out the cabinets when I go to someone's place and b/p'ing. But that stops today. At this point, I've been around the block enough to know I can control my actions, and regular healthy meals with enough protein and some fat will keep me from binging, which will keep me from purging.

In the words of Taylor Swift, "I just wanted you to know that this is me trying."

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Default May 12, 2024 at 10:40 AM
  #72
Oh God, my clothes don't fit anymore. I've been in boxers and jammies for I don't know a month and before that it was sweats and a (tank top+hoodie combo so I haven't really tried my regular underwear/jeans/t-shirts since December when I was at the height of my restriction, and, they are FAR from fitting. I don't even think the next size up will fit. I haven't restricted or purged in about a week (binged though), but the ED mindset combo of (TW: thoughts that might instigate behaviors)
Possible trigger:


*But the out of control feelings man. Not sure if I have to report that I'm not in a shelter anymore or have a place I'm pretty consistently staying to the gov't because I did say I was homeless back in January and they upped my social security (I don't get because that means I stopped paying rent???) I'm seeing Chica get abused by her bf. Big one is having a partner, realizing they're a favorite person, and dealing with that cycle of idealizing them, fearing the abandonment and looking for any slights, devaluing them, "testing them" to see if they'll counter derogatory stuff I say about myself or if they'll reach out if I don't talk to them for a while, and then repeat that cycle. Idk why I do this to myself.

Part of bulimia recovery too is separating the addictions of binging and purging, and having to work on not purging first because that is straight up self-harm that makes you feel like it's okay to binge because of it's "compensatory" nature. I've heard of some people continuing to binge for like a year after stopping purging, not because they want to, just because it takes as long as it takes to work on the two aspects.

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Default May 12, 2024 at 03:43 PM
  #73
I started this diet pill yesterday but I also stoped my stomach med that was making me hungry. So all I want now is healthy stuff and I cleaned out my pantry last night and just left the tuna and canned beans and vegetables and rice and oatmeal and nuts.

I don't know what my therapist will say. This place is pretty anti diet but also I'm not throwing up anymore from being on crap meds and eating a crap diet

I think their anti diet in a kinda toxic way tbh. Just from what I've observed.

If I don't eat the 4oz of turkey I had planned for dinner then I'd be considered restricting today.

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Default May 14, 2024 at 12:54 PM
  #74
Legitimately thought I was going to die after my last purging episode. I really dehydrated myself and messed up my electrolytes. I felt sooooo messed up falling asleep and woke up with spasms, a headache, never really woke up, and was super foggy. And I had a 12 mile walk. Stopped for some food and had a power aid which didnít help but when I got there I had a Gatorade and felt better.

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Default May 17, 2024 at 12:25 PM
  #75
Iím sick of people talking about and asking about food, and what Iím eating/if Iím eating/what I want to eat. Idk what my roommate said, but for the past two weeks my partner keeps saying ďI canít wait to cook for you. What do you want?Ē And my roommate I met at my lowest weight and now I eat in front of her and she says ďIím so happy to see you eating!Ē and I try to explain im eating TOO much but she says shyt like ďno, no, no. Youíre skinny, you need to eat. Im the one that needs to stop eating.Ē Thatís not how this works! I havenít told her, but I canít imagine sheís so clueless to not know I am spending 30min- 3hours a day in HER BATHROOM puking my brains out.

Im at another friendís place now and the first thing she asks is ďare you hungry?Ē And I said no, and she asks ďhave you been eating alright?Ē

Ughhh when I was living with my mom she knew I was purging and restricting and binging and she gave no shyts. Yeah, she made fun of me when I turned junk down, but I think that was more out of jealousy because I had the control to not eat giant chocolate bars constantly and she didnít. And now I donít.

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Default May 18, 2024 at 04:48 AM
  #76
I'm on the diet pill and the probiotic. So my appetite is down. I was puking a lot when I got up. I had some noodles and then a can of soda which gave me really bad heartburn and then after that I took a Pepcid which took care of things. Then I drank 2 cans of coffee for breakfast. Which were only 8oz each. And they both came up despite the Pepcid half an hour ago.

So basically everything I ate since 2:30 I threw up.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; May 18, 2024 at 06:46 AM..
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Default Today at 03:29 PM
  #77
I cut back on my diet pill because my appetite is really down today. Idk if its med side effects or GI side effects. I ordered a bunch of protein bars so I can get something inside of me. I restricted today but not really on purpose. I had a goal I just didn't make it.

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