[barrett]

when i was eleven i stopped eating to lose weight. then about a year ago ( i am now 13) i started abusing laxitives. i was in basket ball, swimming, and track through out the year and i would go to practice on an empty stomach. so i would burn about 500 calories with no food in me. my friends started getting really worried that i had stopped bringing lunch to school (the most i would have would be a diet coke...i think that the caffine made me more awake) i would read magazine articles about girls with eating disorders and actually take tips about how they hid their disorders. i was memorizing the nutrition facts so my family and friends wouldn't see me checking. i was 5' 6" and weighed about 99 lbs.
i got so sickly that it was difficult to be in sports. my stomach was taking a beating from all of the laxitives that were going into me. i just hated who i was. my mom finally realized there was something wrong and monitored my eating habits for about three months. i am now to a normal weight 5'6" and 113 lbs. but when i look into the mirror i see this ugly uverweight girl staring back at me.
i have started doing the things that i was doing when i first became anorexic. i feel as though if i am not thin no one will love me. i hate the way i look...i don't even think that i am worthy as a person. i have a 25 inch waist!! the "perfect" waist is 24 inches! i wish that i was perfect....everyone around me is!!