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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
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Sep 13, 2024 at 06:15 PM
#41
Exercised too much today and did housework on top of it. I really need to break this cycle.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2023
Location: the world
Posts: 498
1 54 hugs
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Sep 14, 2024 at 09:50 AM
#42
Struggled with breakfast today. My throat is such an obstacle.
I hope dinner is better. I am hungry so it's a start.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
given
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Sep 14, 2024 at 11:14 AM
#43
emily, sorry you're struggling. Glad you have an appetite for dinner (((HUGS)))
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
given
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Sep 18, 2024 at 01:01 PM
#44
Just triggered today.Ugh, I feel like banging my head.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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 MuddyBoots
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
given
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Sep 23, 2024 at 09:26 AM
#45
Still having issues with exercise. It's bordering on compulsive exercise now if it isn't already there. That's the main problem I get - purging type anorexia where the purging is done through excessive exercise. I usually eat okay just not enough calories to keep up with the exercise burn and of course I still get that thrill seeing lower numbers on the scale. I've gotta rein it in, either exercise less or eat more but doing those always makes me feel a load of guilt
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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| MuddyBoots, unaluna
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,236
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,017 hugs
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Sep 26, 2024 at 11:14 PM
#46
I hate this body. I hate it. I want every extra bits gone. Everything. Fat. Boobs. Hair. Appendix. Tonsils. Hell, get rid of a kidney and as much of my liver as possible.
Actually, just expel my brain from existence. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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| Blueberrybook
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
given
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Sep 27, 2024 at 07:19 AM
#47
@MuddyBoots I am so sorry you're having so much difficulty. The worst thing about EDs is you're NEVER happy with your body no matter how much weight you lose. I remember I was WAY beyond hospitalization with my weight at several points in my life, and even then I hated my body and thought I was fat. You could disappear into practically nothing and still think you're fat & need to lose weight. Sigh.
I'm still struggling with compulsive exercise and I know it's not all OCD but ED too. My weight is perfect accorind to my PCP and I need to maintain. I lost some weight running but the past month or so I have been maintaining which is good I know intellectually but ED thoughts definitely wish I'd lose more
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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| MuddyBoots
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,236
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,017 hugs
given
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Sep 27, 2024 at 07:40 AM
#48
This time of year and my ED like fighting to the death. Except neither ever die, they just hide for a bit to come back for another battle.
I b/p'd in the most dangerous way I know how last night and was super upset when I woke up this morning...before the alarm at that. Literally want to go on a meth diet to lose weight and clean windows, but it'll be more like paranoid psychosis and probably being arrested or kicked out. keep thinking about all the comments other people have made on my body, and it's funny how there's a general trend b/t males and females. Men: jiggly butt! women: I want to inject cheeseburgers into that *** of yours. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] Last edited by MuddyBoots; Sep 27, 2024 at 08:20 AM.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,735
6 354 hugs
given
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Oct 01, 2024 at 03:30 PM
#49
How is everyone doing this week? This thread has been rather quiet. I wish that would mean nobody is struggling but sadly I know that's not the truth
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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