[MuddyBoots]

Smash the hell out of that scale or take a blow torch to it or something!

[Blueberrybook]

Ugh, tell me about the scale! Whoever invented affordable bathroom scales really did people with EDs a horrible misservice!

Exercised too much this AM. Walked/jogged and did too much, I think. What else is new?

[Mountaindewed]

@Idk how I can get my stomach under control without heading into a full blown ED. When I restrict I'm totally fine;

[MuddyBoots]

But what if bathrooms were always scales, just now they're growing into their own separate entity and honest, but before they kept secrets and quietly judged laughing their tiles away

[Blueberrybook]

I went walking & jogging this morning. More exercise than I need, but not too long a time. I just know it exhausts my body; I should just walk, not jog. But I feel great afterwards b/c I did it, I accomplished it. Ugh.

I went out 30 min. before sunrise, which isn't great to go out in the dark. I don't think I'm still hypomanic, just ED/OCD stuff which in itself is frustrating & irritating.

[Blueberrybook]

Going out to eat at a seafood restaurant for my anniversary tonight. It's been 20 years married. Hopefully, that goes OK and I order what I really want instead of what the ED wants. Sometimes, in these cases, I compromise between the 2 and get something I do like but lower in fat than my instinctive choice, still something the ED is not the least bit happey with. These days, I can't eat things that are fried or greasty b/c of having an ulcer in the past (not ED related). It gives me heartburn and wicked acid reflux, usually in my sleep and then ruins my sleep, which messes with my bipolar.

[Blueberrybook]

Took a rest day from exercise today. Of course, the ED HATES it. My body is exhausted though. For once, I listened to my body. I know that is a good thing, but it doesn't stop the guilt

[Mountaindewed]

Med increases aren't helping the restriction its just making it easier but not really on purpose I guess

[Blueberrybook]

I'm stressed b/c I didn't exercise today and I won't be able to tomorrow either b/c of a planned family day. Just wanting to tear of my own skin. This ED lays one H*LL of a guilt trip

[Blueberrybook]

Just tired of having ED thoughts louder than normal. I want them to GO AWAY!

[Blueberrybook]

Well, another walk/jog today; more than I need I think but ugh, I feel this NEED to go every day; it's frustrating. The other frustrating thing is that I've been at this a month now, and my weight hasn't budged, which of course, the ED thoughts do NOT like a bit, but I KNOW on the intellectual hand that my weight is healthy absolutely normal, NORMAL for my height, according to my PCP who was delighted at my latest weight reading. UGH.

[emily1890]

I am waiting for my money so I can order some more snacks

trust me, i am really struggling without them- especially because my regular meals come no where close to filling me up

[Blueberrybook]

I've lost some weight walking & jogging. Not a lot, but ugh, seeing those smaller numbers on the scale definitely makes the ED thoughts happy. If I could have one wish in the world, it would be that I never have ED thoughts again. But I don't even think that's possible. It's been 20 yrs. at a healthy weight except a few small blips and those stupid thoughts STILL persist, yes, quieter than when the ED completely ruled my world, but I hate that they are still here.

[MuddyBoots]

Daily purging

[Blueberrybook]

@MuddyBoots
Sorry you're struggling. You DO have the power to turn it around. I know it's easier said than done tough. ((((HUGS))))

I took a rest day from walking/jogging today, and the ED really doesn't like it. Then I checked the weather forecast, and there's an 80% chance of thunderstorms tomorrow, which means I likely won't be able to exercise tomorrow either, and now it's too hot outside to go, and I've already showered today and def. do not want to shower again. Ugh.

[Blueberrybook]

Time for another rest day from walking/jogging. Plus it's misting outside, and I don't like to go in rain/wet weather b/c I don't want to fry my electronics - especially my phone & earphones. I feel guilty about it on the one hand but I'm listening to my body on the other hand. I am exhausted from exercising several days in a row, so I DO need to take a break, but my ED thoughts do not like it.

[emily1890]

I've massively undereaten today and it's not great

One strawberry since I woke at 5:00 this morning. It's now 15:13