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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
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#41
Exercised too much today and did housework on top of it. I really need to break this cycle.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2023
Location: the world
Posts: 498
1 54 hugs
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#42
Struggled with breakfast today. My throat is such an obstacle.
I hope dinner is better. I am hungry so it's a start.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#43
emily, sorry you're struggling. Glad you have an appetite for dinner (((HUGS)))
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#44
Just triggered today.Ugh, I feel like banging my head.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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MuddyBoots
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#45
Still having issues with exercise. It's bordering on compulsive exercise now if it isn't already there. That's the main problem I get - purging type anorexia where the purging is done through excessive exercise. I usually eat okay just not enough calories to keep up with the exercise burn and of course I still get that thrill seeing lower numbers on the scale. I've gotta rein it in, either exercise less or eat more but doing those always makes me feel a load of guilt
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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MuddyBoots, unaluna
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,200
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,927 hugs
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#46
I hate this body. I hate it. I want every extra bits gone. Everything. Fat. Boobs. Hair. Appendix. Tonsils. Hell, get rid of a kidney and as much of my liver as possible.
Actually, just expel my brain from existence. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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Blueberrybook
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#47
@MuddyBoots I am so sorry you're having so much difficulty. The worst thing about EDs is you're NEVER happy with your body no matter how much weight you lose. I remember I was WAY beyond hospitalization with my weight at several points in my life, and even then I hated my body and thought I was fat. You could disappear into practically nothing and still think you're fat & need to lose weight. Sigh.
I'm still struggling with compulsive exercise and I know it's not all OCD but ED too. My weight is perfect accorind to my PCP and I need to maintain. I lost some weight running but the past month or so I have been maintaining which is good I know intellectually but ED thoughts definitely wish I'd lose more __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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MuddyBoots
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,200
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,927 hugs
given |
#48
This time of year and my ED like fighting to the death. Except neither ever die, they just hide for a bit to come back for another battle.
I b/p'd in the most dangerous way I know how last night and was super upset when I woke up this morning...before the alarm at that. Literally want to go on a meth diet to lose weight and clean windows, but it'll be more like paranoid psychosis and probably being arrested or kicked out. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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