[Niche]

over the past couple of months, I've been dieting quite a bit and I've lost probably about 15 pounds, although over the past 2 years I've probably lost somewhere between 30-40 pounds. These past couple of months have definitely been my most extreme dieting to date however.

I'm honestly not sure if what I'm doing constitutes an eating disorder though. I've begun to really obsess over the food I eat - I'll only eat about 600 calories or less in a day, and if I eat more I get pretty disappointed. I create meals that have the lowest calories possible, for example I'll eat mushrooms mixed with hot sauce and sugar free jello for lunch and nothing else for the rest of the day. of course I'll get hungry, so I'll drink tea, diet soda flavored water to fill me up. I'm almost always hungry, so all I think about is food I want to eat. however, if I ever get full from a meal, I get really down on myself.

a weird habit I've formed is I'll go into grocery stores and just look at the foods that I crave, like a bag of chocolates, and just read the nutritional information. I do this with almost all the food I eat, even fruits and vegetables so I can keep track of my calorie intake.

every once in a while I can't ignore a craving for something, however when I fulfill this craving, I'll go overboard. for example, today I ate almost a whole jar of peanut butter and afterwards I wanted to throw it up, but I find it impossible to make myself throw up, (and believe me I've tried), so I'll go for a jog or a couple mile long walk to make myself feel better.

I also excersize about an hour a day and walk a few miles a day.

to give you an example of my size, I'm about 5'5" and 118 lbs.

any input is helpful.

thanks

it sounds like you have some distorted thinking about weight. Can you see a therapist that can help you sort through all this. Most colleges and schools have free counseling.

[Genevieve]

You definitely have a problem. My heartfelt advice is to get help now, and mean it, rather than going on this way and turning into someone like me. I'm middle aged, anorexic, have bone loss from starvation, am shorter than I used to be because of the bone loss, hate my body, try to starve myself down to a comfortable size, obsess about food, etc. I wish more than you can know that I had gotten any help for this thirty years ago.

For now, those, let's just look at you for another minute -- of course you're binging, because you're starving. That's common. 600 calories per day is much less than any medically supervised diet, for the very sensible reason that your body will slow the metabolism down in the face of such starvation, making weight loss that much more difficult. You NEED to eat AT LEAST 1200 calories per day to lose weight! Think about that a bit.

Do you see a therapist for anything? If so, this is a good topic to bring up. If not, I urge you to find one now. And do not continue to try to purge -- that's a quick way to die. No matter how pretty your corpse is, huh?

[(JD)]

I agree. Even obese ppl need to indulge in their cravings some, or they will binge... and fell bad afterwards. Also, you won't lose weight on that few calories, because your body has shut down into starvation mode. It uses muscle to feed itself too, at this point. Not too good for future health...

If you won't or can't seek professional help, then do more to educate yourself... you have the internet USE IT google or yahoo words to find links.....

take care of yourself... even when you don't feel like it... just like you did when making this post! tc

[Bjork]

Wow, you sound almost exactly like me! I like to go to stores and read calories and nutrition ingredients of foods that I'm buying for my family or foods that I would never eat now. I too, know (at least generally) the facts of all of the food that I ingest. I even have been known to wait until people leave the kitchen to read all of the nutrition facts on foods in the pantry. It's sick.

I used to do the exercising thing, but that was just before I went IP last time. I keep wanting to start it up again, but every time I get the urge to go, it's cold/rainy/snowy. I guess it's a good thing. I probably don't need to go because I know will get obsessive about it.

The "overdoing it" probably happens because you have restricted too much. I have never personally experienced it, but this is what I have heard. I just skimmed the other posts, but I am sure that everyone else has told you some of the same things.

Bjork

[Niche]

thanks for all your advice.

I'm not seeing any sort of doctor right now, and I'm really afraid to bring this issue up with my mother because I know once I admit it, they're gonna try to make me gain weight which is the very last thing I want to do.

I guess I just don't know how to be this thin and eat healthfully at the same time.