Treat your eating disorder as an addiction

Hi ,

How i was able and am still able to stop my binging is to treat my eating patterns which are ultimately "thought patterns" as an addiction. A well worn train of thought that leads me to a well worn action be it over indulgence or restriction.

That wasn't hard for me to see because I knew I couldn't stop when I finally decided I wanted to give it up for good .

I had a sponsor who knew the beast , but I thought she didn't because "she didn't have bulimia"

for some "she didn't have anorexia ".
No she had them all in varying degrees at different times .

Yet she WAS abstinate.

so how did she do it?

She abstained from what was causing her problems. And to day I nod my head when I dig into a bolw of corn and find I want the whole bag .

Corn I said .. I have to give up corn.

I left her because of corn . she was too ridgid,

she was also the one who told me about diet foods how she binged on those .

when I hear thosse slim fast comercias or the food bars I just laugh going

yep give me a case give me a box .

Its like don't eat the donut and carve just drink a expensive slim fast and crave,

I don't know where she is today , but Il thinking,,

Im ridgid ad loving it.. yep corns a problem for me , so are rasins , so are sugar free culinary wonders .

Rasins .. I have to give up rasins? awe gee

common do I have to ?.
well

suffering once again staring at the empy box told me yeah

sigh , guess Ill say good by to that one also. dang!

********************

If you don't have a problem , you are okay with what your doing then you would not be here,

Many people are okay with doing things to thier body and mind , smoking is one.

some do get cancer and heart disease as a result some don't. Its true people will continue to do what they do untill that fateful day that may or may not come.

Ive thought alot about addictions . with drugs and alchohol its obvious that if used enough the body becomes addicted.

in a Physiological way .

its true for eating disorders as well . The body adapt and crys out to get to a place of normalacey that is not normal or healthy/

They all start with the thought process, an Idea , an inspring thought that takes a turn for the worst.

Some can try a substance and there is No craving for it. But others do and no one "chooses " to have the craving.

Theres a few schools of thought behind addictions and what drives them . some think its a need to destroy one self ..

I think this really is a by product of years in the trenches. It usually starts out as a way to control one thing or another . and by the nature of an addiction it becomes self destructive.

many people start their addictions in an attempt to make thier life

"better " not worse.

I tried to make mine better but trying to control my insatiable hunger .

I was one of the unfortunate ones wwho had an already crazey family life.

I had a good handel on manuvering the war zone til it became my body.

why did I post this to begin with.
Because if you don't stop the disoredered eating ,

You won't get in touch with the feelings , memories , and a whole lot of other stuff. Like picking up relationships that are destructive for you. Or learning how to manuver around those that are.and not let them effect you.

You can spend hours and years in therapy and if you don't stop the behavior you won't get to far.because your not able to access the feeligs that tell you to go eat or to restrict and loose weight.

Just like you can be in years of therapy and it gets missed you have atention defficit.
you work your aZZ off but just can't get any where ,

Try to find an OA over eaters anonymous in your area .
Or get a food plan get in touch with your addictive thought patterns and hang out In AA meetings and just listen .

and theres alanon for those of you who can't detach from those hurting you and them selves

Patricia

I agree with this entirely - and it is one of the reasons I can't stop the disordered eating....
I don't WANT to get in touch with the feelings, memories and other stuff.
It is too painful!
Maybe part of me wants to - the part that wants to be healed.
But the part that wants to protect myself from the pain by using the ED is much stronger right now. I don't know how to stop!

Hi KTgirl,

I hope your doing okay. You went through treatment . And were doing well . I'm pretty sure you did. Correct me if I'm wrong. You have 3 children right?

Yes I know . how difficult it is to feel the emotions. Anger was the first one that came out and I did not like that one . It lead me back to the food.

It took me forever to find sadness. and joy. what was joy? I think I know Joy . Joy would be a great name for a dog. or a carefree child.

And lonlieness . wasn"t sure about that either. and hurt . I know hurt now. But If I didn't then Id put my hand in the fire over and over.

I still avoid stuff big time. Like for instance. I have not read your last reply in the dental thread.

I've still got my head in the sand. I just wish it would all go away .

About the one thing I can do now is decide what I want to do with my food . . Its just food.

and the emotions. they do pass . They don't last and can be worked through and accepted.

Tired tonight.

Patricia