[tinaseajed]

I had a rough week --- some challenges that my overeating had been hiding really came out and I was mad, mad, mad...combined with a sort of hopelessness. I finally expressed my anger at a couple of meetings and began to start feeling better.

I flirted with overeating a couple of times, but caught myself mid-bite. I keep thinking of that little pamphlet, Before you take that first compulsive bite, remember...

How good it is to be free of guilt, remorse, and self-condemnation.

How good it is to be free of fear of the consequences of a binge just ended, or a coming binge you have never before been able to prevent.

How good it is to be free of the fear of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, free of their mingled pity and contempt.

Food choices weren't the best -- but I stuck to 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. I did not weigh this week, I was afraid of bloating from PMS and too many salty foods, but I will weigh this Friday because there is no reason to be afraid.

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by tinaseajed

I had a rough week --- some challenges that my overeating had been hiding really came out and I was mad, mad, mad...combined with a sort of hopelessness. I finally expressed my anger at a couple of meetings and began to start feeling better.

I flirted with overeating a couple of times, but caught myself mid-bite. I keep thinking of that little pamphlet, Before you take that first compulsive bite, remember...

How good it is to be free of guilt, remorse, and self-condemnation.

How good it is to be free of fear of the consequences of a binge just ended, or a coming binge you have never before been able to prevent.

How good it is to be free of the fear of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, free of their mingled pity and contempt.

Food choices weren't the best -- but I stuck to 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. I did not weigh this week, I was afraid of bloating from PMS and too many salty foods, but I will weigh this Friday because there is no reason to be afraid.

I feel for you. Our situation the same thing just flip flopped. I'm anorexic.
Good job on stopping yourself mid stream that is hard. And took you the strong and awesome person you are to do it.
And in time. It will be easier. And so will loving yourself.hugs tiffers

Hi Tina,

Slow and steady beat those determined wings.. I think you just crossed an entire State.

LOLLLLL!!!!!!!

I flirted with overeating a couple of times, but caught myself mid-bite. I keep thinking of that little pamphlet, Before you take that first compulsive bite, remember...

Is it still green with the sketched face of a contimplative Man with his finger along the side of his chin.

Remember what a compulsive bite or two will do.. LOL!!!!!!!

Way TO GO!!! the mid bite HALT! Hungry angry Lonely tired.

So good to hear those wods of gratitude. I just don't express them but do think them everyday . Its so good to hear them from you Tina .

We do have a choice when given that ittle window of grace. And sometimes its like a steam roller against the whisper .

one of the nice things about having a binge free fridge is I open it and go .. oh darn... nothing in there to sooth me... just make me healthy.

Yee Haw!

Patricia

Originally Posted by tinaseajed

I had a rough week --- some challenges that my overeating had been hiding really came out and I was mad, mad, mad...combined with a sort of hopelessness. I finally expressed my anger at a couple of meetings and began to start feeling better.

I flirted with overeating a couple of times, but caught myself mid-bite. I keep thinking of that little pamphlet, Before you take that first compulsive bite, remember...

How good it is to be free of guilt, remorse, and self-condemnation.

How good it is to be free of fear of the consequences of a binge just ended, or a coming binge you have never before been able to prevent.

How good it is to be free of the fear of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, free of their mingled pity and contempt.

Food choices weren't the best -- but I stuck to 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. I did not weigh this week, I was afraid of bloating from PMS and too many salty foods, but I will weigh this Friday because there is no reason to be afraid.

Originally Posted by tifferific

I feel for you. Our situation the same thing just flip flopped. I'm anorexic.
Good job on stopping yourself mid stream that is hard. And took you the strong and awesome person you are to do it.
And in time. It will be easier. And so will loving yourself.hugs tiffers

Hey Tiffers,

Thats a Good way to look at it. Im not sure how it woud be worded for you . Maybe the compulsive need to "not" take a bite or two?



After you get started do you ever binge at all or used to ? Did you ever loose control in that way and the get scared .

I was that way for quite a while. I tried not to let anything stay in my body . It was all about monitorig and controlling . And thats why I didn't want to give it up.

it was the first few bites around anger that woud get the fire going .



Patricia

[tinaseajed]

Yes, still that man with the finger on his head, thinking. I've giggled about it before. I finally did weigh, and although I haven't had the dramatic loss I was hoping for, I wasn't disappointed either. Yay!

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by Auroralso

Hey Tiffers,

Thats a Good way to look at it. Im not sure how it woud be worded for you . Maybe the compulsive need to "not" take a bite or two?



After you get started do you ever binge at all or used to ? Did you ever loose control in that way and the get scared .

I was that way for quite a while. I tried not to let anything stay in my body . It was all about monitorig and controlling . And thats why I didn't want to give it up.

it was the first few bites around anger that woud get the fire going .



Patricia

Tina still good job, progress takes time.
Be patient and kind to yourself.

No I do not binge. When I do freak from what is a normal meal I will purge. I can't binge. Don't know. No reason just too afraid.

Tina, I am so proud of you!!!

Originally Posted by tinaseajed

Yes, still that man with the finger on his head, thinking. I've giggled about it before. I finally did weigh, and although I haven't had the dramatic loss I was hoping for, I wasn't disappointed either. Yay!

LOL !!!!! a very handsome man with a chizzeled face. Im surprized it has not changed.

Sounds very good! your moderate weight loss . Slow and steady wins . yaY yay!

Tiffer i was trying to find some thing positive . I think just restricting seems healthier than chronic purging / it all comes down to control doesn't it. and a bit of rebellion.

Patricia

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by Auroralso

LOL !!!!! a very handsome man with a chizzeled face. Im surprized it has not changed.

Sounds very good! your moderate weight loss . Slow and steady wins . yaY yay!

Tiffer i was trying to find some thing positive . I think just restricting seems healthier than chronic purging / it all comes down to control doesn't it. and a bit of rebellion.

Patricia

Confused tinasejed are you male? That's ok with me just wondering. The best part of slow eightloss is that it tends to stay off, and is much easier on you bodie.
You also are more inclined to get a real healthy eating pattern.

As far as me. I purge even if it's small amounts I want nothing in. Just were I'm at. I'm loosing 2_3 pounds weekly.
But I'm ok. I mean I can still think I'm in the low 90 zone. It's ok.

[tinaseajed]

Naw, I'm 100% woman. There is a picture on the pamphlet I was talking about, which is a man thinking contemplatively.

No-purging is my bottom line abstinence -- actually, it was when I started purging again that I decided to go back to OA.

[tinaseajed]

Thanks for support and encouragement!

When I write about my eating issues I'm always angry.

Reading your thread has inspired me.

I am so very proud of you.

Truly I am....

Starlite

[tinaseajed]

I get mad all of the time about having this disease. I wish I were a normal eater. I am finally coming to accept that I am a Bulimic, and that will never change. BTW, I made it last night without binging. I was really nervous about a work thing, and I still am. I kept thinking about going and eating something extra, some kind of sugary snack. I got out my literature and read it. I don't want to be afraid of the consequences any more. They are not worth 30 seconds of relief from my feelings.

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by tinaseajed

I get mad all of the time about having this disease. I wish I were a normal eater. I am finally coming to accept that I am a Bulimic, and that will never change. BTW, I made it last night without binging. I was really nervous about a work thing, and I still am. I kept thinking about going and eating something extra, some kind of sugary snack. I got out my literature and read it. I don't want to be afraid of the consequences any more. They are not worth 30 seconds of relief from my feelings.

Awesome job!!! And the thing is you are hopefully finally starting to realize that it's not you that you should be upset with. You are not your disease. And that one sugary snack will not put on pounds. But one purge could kill you. And you are worth so much more than that.

You seperated your feelings and found a different way to cope. Did you note what that was? Because you did something.

This is a struggle, and it hurts and it gets harder, and the more you disobey it the louder it gets. So the more you know and learn the things and tools that are working for you, the better chance you have at slaying your dragon. I will fight beside you!! I am proud of you. That may sound silly, but I know what it is like to scramble around wanting to just let it go. And to not to, and you my dear did a great job, it was in your head and you controled it, it did not control you!!