Tiny tiny progress.

Before I started meds (over 3 years ago) I was a healthy, slender weight. I was also in pretty good shape. I'm female and in my late 20s.

Thanks to my med concoctions I gained over two years around 100lbs. It has been, in a word: AWFUL. I gained weight years and years ago due to emotional overeating, which I've since nipped in the bud. Aside from that I've been thin/trim my whole life (genes). But one of my meds made me crave carbs like a drug addict craving their fix. I could never get full, and the taste of vegetables literally lost their taste for me; I didn't want them anymore. So all that on top of the med(s) itself caused fast weight gain. The high presence of severe anxiety contributed to me staying inside my house.

In the past year I'd gotten to the point of purposely avoiding people/places where I used to go as my "self" (meaning the body I know as normal and comfortable for me); I was so embarrassed, and what's weird is I look more bloated than fat. There is definite fat, but overall I look like I'm on a steroid.

Speed up to now. I started a new mood stabilizer a few months ago whose side effects caused severe nausea/eating-bare-minimum. Also sometime last year the carb cravings stopped. So between both of those, I noticed my body getting a little smaller (in past if I gained some weight I could take if off almost instantly, so this has been horrifically frustrating), though no one else could. As those med side-effects subsided, I realized I know no longer wanted fast food (grease + woozy stomach = bathroom), nor sweets (too rich). I do still drink tea (I am a Southern girl), but otherwise I've tried not to take dips into the decadence. This after almost two years of eating whatever I craved.

I came here because I wanted to share that I've lost more weight in the past month. I went to a sleep doctor who thinks I have sleep apnea, so i've been using a sleep machine--to sort of see what comes up, though the RN I've rented it from says it's clearly working--and though I don't know, I think it may be helping with some of this fluid retention.

So, I've seen family members and friends a good bit lately and no one's said anything about my appearance. Then yesterday my grandmother came by and took me errand-running, and as she dropped me off she said, "You look like you've lost weight." She saw me no more than two weeks ago. I was pleasantly surprised she noticed, because I myself had noticed...but you know how it is when you can tell but no one else can. So for her to see it was pretty huge. A confirmation, if you will.

I haven't exercised because of all the side effects I've had; I want to, but other factors have prevented it. Plus for me it seems very tough when your whole body is retaining water (you drink mostly water/Gatorade, avoid salty stuff) and walk around like a rolly-polly. I never knew it would be so hard to get this weight off. But, clearly I've made some pretty recent/substantial progress. I had to share,

Hi Livethroughthis, I too have gained alot of weight. Its hard and I feel embarresed, I know a lot of my meds and issues have caused the gain. I am going to start some kind of exercise program soon. I think it would help with the issues also. I had surgery last week on my throat and for the first time in years Im not hungry. Anyway I know a lot of people have weight problems.

Yes, some ppl say the weight gain is worth the peace of mind. But I'm not in that camp (maybe cause I don't have peace of mind yet?)

You just had throat surgery? Wow....I can see why you wouldn't have much of an appetite. That might work in your favor. I say that cause once I started my 2nd mood stabilizer, it gave me bad side effects (nausea, dizziness, etc.) and basically made me not want anything remotely sweet or fried again. Now those effects have subsided, and I do eat a little of that kind of stuff. But I fully believe the side effects inadvertently caused some weight loss.