Mountaindewed

I was 157.4 today. I had around 1200 calories and I ran a lot of errands so I wasn't just sitting around all day.

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I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

seesaw

I've been holding at 200 after I got down to 197 then had a bunch of stressful stuff happen. But I managed to hold it at 200 while I couldn't commit to a calorie deficit, and I continued running a few times a week. I'm almost consistently running every morning now. And I'm trying to add a daily yoga practice - I'm trying to build myself back into the very active/athletic person I was, but I have to add a little at a time. My body is used to running in the mornings now, and I like it. I am trying to now add an evening yoga practice, but from enough starts and stops, I know that I can't just add it every day of the week. I'm trying to do it in the evening a few times a week until it feels just part of the routine, then it will happen nightly on it's own.

My weight has been dipping a bit - I think the muscle swap for fat has it fluctuating up and down, and I can feel physically smaller, so this week I'm also focused on healthy meals and portion size so I keep the calorie deficit. I think I've figured out that what works for me is a week or two of being somewhat "strict" (no junk or treats, etc.) so that the weight comes off, then I can spend a week or two in maintenance. Then repeat.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...

Mountaindewed

I've just been maintaing at 157 since I last posted. My therapist is being a bit controlling and being very stubborn regarding my weight loss and is adamant I don't need to lose anymore.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

unaluna

My weight is holding at 242. It was a little higher recently, so i am happy. I have been a little hungry but not hard core. I have a meal when i want one, seconds sometimes (and then im usually sorry!). I exercise sometimes.

I just had a blueberry streusel muffin from the health food restaurant in my apt bldg - omg it was sooo good.

Mountaindewed

I think pepcid makes me hungry. I was on my strict diet for 2 weeks and then today I took a pepcid at 4AM for bad heartburn and I got hungry and had a cheat day. I ate 2 slices of pizza and some of a churro milkshake. It was a much needed cheat day though. I didn't over indulge and I do feel a ton better physically since I had been restricting for so long.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

Discombobulated

I’m impressed with your running daily Seesaw, I never managed that even at my fittest. I do know what you mean about your body being used to early morning running though, I’ve tried different times of day but running first thing works best for me, I don’t eat before hand - actually I think that helps with fat burning (read that somewhere).

Unfortunately I start work really early too so can’t run beforehand (I’m up at 5am as it is) so non working days are my only option.

My eating has been consistently better recently and I’m really into overnight oats at the moment, I thought I didn’t like them but it turns out it was the soaking in milk I didn’t like, they taste better soaked in water IMO and I don’t seem to get hungry mid morning when I eat them for breakfast.

Mountaindewed

I'm back to my normal dieting. What a professional may call restricting. Only because my stomach is messed up again because of this heat wave. I had to go out in it because I am out of bottled water and I am almost out of Slim Fast and protein shakes. What I did eat wasn't the greatest. I'll try to make it up if I can stomach anything else today.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

Mountaindewed

Today was pretty good. 1,211 calories. 82 grams of protein. 125 carbs. 1,203 mil of sodium. I'm in between trying to lose more and also maintaining at 157. I'm being told 2 different things on the mental health side and then on the physical health side of things. No one is really asking what I want though.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

Mountaindewed

I had around 1200 calories, 71 grams of protein, 131 carbs, and 1,734 mil of sodium. I had my ususaul soda when I woke up and then a protein shake and an apple sauce for breakfast. I got a medium diet Coke with cream from Sonic. I had a grilled cheese for lunch and I wasn't sure on the calories so I just put it at 520. Then I had another apple sauce and a Slim Fast for dinner. So I basically just followed a loosely Slim Fast like diet. 2 protein shakes, one meal of my choice, then 3 or so snacks.

People think they know whats going on with my weight loss and eating habits, but they really don't.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

Mountaindewed

I was 157.6 yesterday and I guess at this point I'm just trying to maintain. For right now. Half my shirts are hanging off me and I had to get new jeans. I'm not sure how much smaller I can get. Plus I'm getting a lot of crap from my therapist about my weight. So I had a cheat day yesterday and when I weighed myself this morning I was 161.2. Then today I got back on track. I figured 6 days of dieting and one cheat day will help me maintain the 157.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.

Mountaindewed

I was 163 yesterday. Today I was 161.2. I think now I'm back under 160. I want to get back to 157 before my trip on Tuesday. I plan on mostly eating my own stuff but theres some stuff I do want to eat.

__________________
I still need love cause I'm just a man

I was assigned female at birth. My pronouns are he/him. It's not ok to ask me what's in my pants.