Weight Loss and Exercise #4

I’ve heard that too unaluna. Today I’ve had a little bag of popcorn and a 2 pack of quest protein peanut butter cups and I just cannot eat today and I don’t know why. I even took a few of my meds to jump start my hunger and it’s still not working. I honestly think it’s just my anxiety. I don’t feel physically sick besides the stomach ache from the peanut butter cups. So far I’ve only had 615 calories.

I kind of want to get manscaping done which is making your body look more masculine through liposuction. But I think my insurance company would either tell me to lose weight or say give it another couple years because the hormones are supposed to distribute my fat but it can take up to 5 years…

I'm the same weight I have been for a while now. I didn't eat tortillas today and I had fruit. I ate plenty of vegetables. No exercise.

I had less then 600 calories yesterday. I meant to get up around 8 to eat a piece of pizza but a combination of my meds, my melatonin, and my weighted blankets just knocked me out for 10 hours straight. I had the pizza at 6:30 this morning. I also had 10 satellite wafers and some cheddar sour cream Goldfish. I’m just waiting for my ramen delivery to get here. With the ramen I’ll be at 963 calories for the day. More then yesterday and more food but still not enough calories. I don’t feel weak or anything. It’s just the change in meds honestly.

My Noom said the other day people hate it when they can hear themselves eat. I’ve never paid attention before to how it sounds when I’m eating crunchy foods but now I can’t get that out of my head so I’ll give up when eating crunchy foods because I feel disgusted. I think Noom causes a bit more distorted thinking then they realize they do. I’ve heard it’s bad for people with EDs. I also heard it’s just a scam. I’ve learned some things but I didn’t renew my subscription because I do find the articles a bit useless and the free version of my fitness pal app works the same. The only thing I like is my Noom guide who I can ask questions that I can’t figure out on my own.

I od'd on jimmy johns again yesterday, hopefully i got my fill for a while. I ordered a bunch of loma linda vegetarian entrees, enough for the next few weeks. And some fruit cups. I have canned and freeze dried veg to last for a while. The other night i dreamed i weighed 252! Which would be great if its true!

Have you ever tried an unwich from Jimmy Johns? It’s any one of their sandwiches but wrapped in lettuce instead of bread. I like the turkey Tom unwich with no mayo and no cheese. I haven’t had one since I moved though.

Really i only order it FOR the bread! The only bread i keep in the house is mestermacher carp its all nuts and seeds and whole grains. Its yummy but sometimes i just want soft yeasty chewy BREAD. By getting jimmyjohns i at least limit my bread intake to one day max / two meals. Next day its back on the wagon. Otherwise i will eat the rest of a store loaf starting the next day at breakfast, and thats not a good start to the day.

I was 168.2 today. I plan on getting some ice cream from Sonic when my mom wakes up. Then I’ll have some Goldfish later on. I plan on having a pack of Quest protein peanut butter cups if I can find them. Then dinner will be the ramen that came last night after I went to bed. Maybe I’ll go get an unwich from Jimmy Johns since everyone has been talking about it. Yesterday my mom was talking about Jimmy Johns for a reunion and then my sister mentioned the unwhiches.

My mom was talking to my sister about what we eat in the house and how we’re pretty much on our own all the time and she doesn’t really cook. She mentioned something about my brother and then said “and mountaindewed doesn’t eat much of anything.” She did make burgers last night on the stove and she made me a turkey burger which I ate without a bun.

So I wonder if it’s catching up to me and people are starting to notice. I know I barely ate on our vacation and I didn’t eat with my family but they didn’t say anything. I’ve lost 6 pounds since my last therapy session and I’m worried I’ll have to explain things to her next Monday. And mental health care workers are the worst when it comes to food restricting and other similar types of behaviors.

It’s like when your gaining massively from meds they don’t care. When your losing weight everyone shits their pants and it’s this huge issue. It’s just annoying.

I had a plain sundae from Sonic. Then for a mid morning snack I had cheddar cheese and sour cream Goldfish. I have these little glass bowls that fit a serving perfectly. For lunch I had a roast beef and tomato Jimmy Johns unwich. I switched out the mayonnaise for extra roast beef and I had this giant concoction that only had 200 calories. It was super filling. I got some quest protein peanut butter cups for a snack and then I’ll have cheddar cheese ramen for dinner. But right now I’m really full and I ate that thing like 2 hours ago. I have down 1,205 calories but I’m not sure on the sundae. I put it at 360 which may be a lot. I’m trying to stay ahead of my hunger but in 15 minutes I’m taking my meds which really don’t make me hungry.

I lost 4 pounds. So I'm happy about that. I ate out today but it was a healthy choice. I did some exercise today. Tomorrow I will do more exercise.

Ok. So I was 167.6 today. Which is a 20 pound weight loss since Thanksgiving and the lowest weight I’ve been since June 2020

I went through the last weight loss and exercise check in thread and I noticed 3 things I was doing a lot of that I’m not doing anymore.

1. I was often drinking 1-3 full calorie sodas a day. I was also drinking a large iced coffee almost everyday. I’ve since been drinking zero sugar soda and unsweetened black berry iced teas which has helped my hunger and my weight loss.

2. I was eating a lot of processed TV dinners. Which I don’t eat anymore except the occasional Amy’s cheese enchilada.

3. I was eating a ton of Taco Bell and other fast food which I rarely eat anymore.

That and switching from Xanax to Valium, and going down on 2 of my meds, plus switching all my meds to at night, and using a new kind of melatonin that helps me fall asleep faster and helps me sleep through the night so I’m not waking up and snacking, has been a big help and I think all of that is why my weight hasn’t been stalling.

I plan on getting a grilled cheese sandwich or a chili cheese dog from Sonic before therapy so my therapist will leave me alone and won’t catch on when she asks what I’ve eaten today. I know that is kind of disordered behavior. But I don’t want to be sent anywhere today. Then I plan on having a serving of Goldfish crackers for lunch, a pack of Quest protein peanut butter cups for a snack, and some cheddar cheese ramen for dinner. So my calories for today equal to around 1100. I may have some steamed zucchini too.

I had half a salad today and am unsure what I'm having for dinner. Either a protein shake and a piece of toast or a just a baked sweet potato. It depends if I feel like turning the oven on and waiting 50 minutes for the potato to bake. I probably won't.

I'm not sure what my weight is, I haven't checked in a couple of weeks. I'm kind of scared to because I really went off track with eating healthy for a couple weeks.

I'm the same weight. It's a good thing. It will be a day or two before I drop again. At least I am maintaining now. I'm eating healthy and exercising.

I didn’t weigh myself this morning because I woke up early and I drank a lot of liquids. Yesterday I had 1,115 calories. I feel really fat today but I’m wearing clothes that are a size too big. I need to go shopping for both jeans and shirts. But at Goodwill not online.

At the doctors I was 171 with shoes, jeans, a t shirt, and my phone in my pocket. So it’s looking good.

I’m going to have an extra roast beef extra tomato no mayonnaise unwich for lunch from Jimmy Johns.

I was 166.2. That’s my lowest weight since January 2020. Cutting out all that stuff and moving my meds to at night really does make a difference. I did have a mini Mountain Dew freeze yesterday because the flavor I got is so rare. I’ve been weighing myself every morning at 6AM. I usually skip once a week. My calories yesterday equaled to 1213.

I’m not sure what I’ll eat today but I’m going to try to skip the ramen. It makes me nervous to eat it every day even if it’s working with my weight loss.

My weight at the doctors today was 171. Same as yesterday at the other doctors but I am wearing shorts today and I didn’t have my phone in my pocket. That’s why they say to weigh yourself on the same scale all the time. But anyways I was talking to him about my weight because I wanted a second opinion. I didn’t mention the whole ED thing I just asked him what a good weight for me is. And he explained that I’m just barely in the overweight category. And that if I lost 15 or 20 pounds I’d be where I should be. So basically I’m being told 2 different things and I kinda have always trusted medical doctors over mental health professionals just because I’ve dealt with so much unprofessionalism in the mental health field. So I’m just going to keep on working on my weight and if other people want to be an asshole about it and not work with me because of that then that’s there problem. Although I think my therapist doesn’t want to work with me because she’s transphobic and she’s using the ED as a cop out.

I am concerned with how much ramen I’ve been eating and my cholesterol. So I got some Cheerios today since they say they can help lower your cholesterol and I am clueless on how to do it anyway else.

I'm eating healthy. Exercise is difficult because of my back right now. I'm maintaining.

Still 166 today. Which I’m not surprised. Yesterday I ate about 1500 calories. So far today I’ve had a grilled cheese sandwich from sonic and a few carrot Goldfish. I’ve had several diet and unsweetened drinks though today. Which is why I’m not starving right now. Plus it isn’t even lunch so I shouldn’t be hungry. But I don’t know what I’ll actually be eating. I’m out of peanut butter protein cups. My delivery gets here tomorrow.

I was 166 exactly today. Yesterday I was 166.4. I’m just really happy to be at this weight so I’m not worried that I have stalled or anything. I had about 39 carrot Goldfish for breakfast. Then I went to Einstein bros and got some nova lox. I had a red Gatorade around 12:30. Now I’m kind of at a loss because i’m not hungry but I still have a lot of calories left. Plus our microwave isn’t working which is how I do all my food. I guess I’ll have oatmeal made on the stove for dinner. Or cereal. But I don’t really feel like eating anything. Not even more Goldfish. So far I’m at 878 calories if I do eat the oatmeal.

I ended up eating ramen for dinner instead of the oatmeal. So I was just around a thousand calories today. And I am just done for today.

I had a slice of wheat toast w/ peanut butter, a slimfast shake, a little bit of black beans, and tofu stir fry today. I haven't weighed myself, I might tomorrow