[Zimbabwe]

I am a gambling addict and a ****ing idiot. Over the last few years I have continued gambling even though it has cost me everything and ****ed up my life. I am so stupid it is unreal. The last couple of weeks have been weird, I am at uni, for the second time. First time around I gambled all my loans away and had to drop out, I promised myself I would never do that again. About three weeks back I gambled my way down to my last few quid but got lucky and ended up about level. Since then gambling has lost its edge, the rush I got from betting it all, amazing. I had to do it again. It didn't work out. I've lost it all. What am I doing to myself? What have I done to my life? I am an embarrassment, an idiot and I have bet my life and lost.

I quit gambling for about a year before but I got so depressed I had to edge back to it. Somebody please tell me there is something that can match the buzz of gambling. I want a life. I want a normal, average, boring life instead of this pointless existence. I feel trapped, isolated and desperate.

I am still feeling pretty raw, so I'll calm down soon I hope. I am trying to make an appointment with a counsellor, and I want this to be the last day I gambled.

I'm heading back home in a few days but I can't face telling my family I've let them all down again, I don't want to ruin their Christmas, or maybe that's my way of being a noble coward.

This has to stop.

[kittlies]

Do you trust your family enough to have them manage your money for you, while you get treatment?

[rxtweeter]

Originally Posted by Zimbabwe

I am a gambling addict and a ****ing idiot. Over the last few years I have continued gambling even though it has cost me everything and ****ed up my life. I am so stupid it is unreal. The last couple of weeks have been weird, I am at uni, for the second time. First time around I gambled all my loans away and had to drop out, I promised myself I would never do that again. About three weeks back I gambled my way down to my last few quid but got lucky and ended up about level. Since then gambling has lost its edge, the rush I got from betting it all, amazing. I had to do it again. It didn't work out. I've lost it all. What am I doing to myself? What have I done to my life? I am an embarrassment, an idiot and I have bet my life and lost.

I quit gambling for about a year before but I got so depressed I had to edge back to it. Somebody please tell me there is something that can match the buzz of gambling. I want a life. I want a normal, average, boring life instead of this pointless existence. I feel trapped, isolated and desperate.

I am still feeling pretty raw, so I'll calm down soon I hope. I am trying to make an appointment with a counsellor, and I want this to be the last day I gambled.

I'm heading back home in a few days but I can't face telling my family I've let them all down again, I don't want to ruin their Christmas, or maybe that's my way of being a noble coward.

This has to stop.

Stop putting yourself down. You are not an idiot. You have a problem with impulse control. It is not your fault. Your brain is hardwired for impulsive reactions and pleasure. Stop beating yourself up. If you would have won big you would not be beating yourself up right now. Win or lose you are still you. And one thing that helps me is realizing this happens to millions of people. You are not alone. Alot of people gamble and lose. Why do you think the casino and lottery industies are so successful. Don't take it personally. If you can't control yourself it is time to get help. Go to a support group or a therapist. Get into treatment. From my experience gambling ruins lives. I know some people beat the odds and all their money dreams come true. It happens for very few people compared to all the people that gamble. And yes I too have a gambling problem. I have tried to win the big money for 18 years now. I am still poor as hell. Currently I blew all my money once again and have no money to live on. I do not beat myself up for it though. I give myself credit for trying. It is just hard to accept that it may never happen for me. That is depressing for me to see. I want so bad to have all my dreams come true. I often ask why it doesn't happen for me. I am thinking about treatment. We will see if I can accept reality and go in for treatment.

[rockbottom1965]

Originally Posted by rxtweeter

Stop putting yourself down. You are not an idiot. You have a problem with impulse control. It is not your fault. Your brain is hardwired for impulsive reactions and pleasure. Stop beating yourself up. If you would have won big you would not be beating yourself up right now. Win or lose you are still you. And one thing that helps me is realizing this happens to millions of people. You are not alone. Alot of people gamble and lose. Why do you think the casino and lottery industies are so successful. Don't take it personally. If you can't control yourself it is time to get help. Go to a support group or a therapist. Get into treatment. From my experience gambling ruins lives. I know some people beat the odds and all their money dreams come true. It happens for very few people compared to all the people that gamble. And yes I too have a gambling problem. I have tried to win the big money for 18 years now. I am still poor as hell. Currently I blew all my money once again and have no money to live on. I do not beat myself up for it though. I give myself credit for trying. It is just hard to accept that it may never happen for me. That is depressing for me to see. I want so bad to have all my dreams come true. I often ask why it doesn't happen for me. I am thinking about treatment. We will see if I can accept reality and go in for treatment.

I can relate, gambling deflates your soul, even a win is a loss,iit is the most insidious addiction, most people gamble to escape and stuff their feelings,today I will not gamble, yesterday is set in stone and tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life

[pharmgal89]

I understand what you're saying also. I agree about taking it one day at a time because that is all we have.

[ladylynne]

Originally Posted by pharmgal89

I understand what you're saying also. I agree about taking it one day at a time because that is all we have.

Yes one day at a time. I have a gambling issue as well. Thanks for sharing.