[beachgoer247]

Can anyone offer advice on how to become a happier person? Happier with myself. Every day I look at my life and I see wonderful people and things, that I am so lucky to be a part of and have. Seeing those aren't working. I am just asking for advice from personal experience. Something that you do to help yourself be happy. Thanks for reading. I can't believe I have gone so long without knowing PC exists.

[JWRX]

Originally Posted by beachgoer247

Can anyone offer advice on how to become a happier person? Happier with myself. Every day I look at my life and I see wonderful people and things, that I am so lucky to be a part of and have. Seeing those aren't working. I am just asking for advice from personal experience. Something that you do to help yourself be happy. Thanks for reading. I can't believe I have gone so long without knowing PC exists.

I find if I spend sometime daily appreciating what I have it helps my mood.

[Ripose]

I know what is supposed to make me happy, yet it rarely does.
I rely on science for a lot of answers about life, so I signed up for a free on-line course called "The Science Of Happiness" from edX.

I can't comment on the course since I have not taken it yet.
But if you want to sign up for it click on this edX

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by beachgoer247

Can anyone offer advice on how to become a happier person? Happier with myself. Every day I look at my life and I see wonderful people and things, that I am so lucky to be a part of and have. Seeing those aren't working. I am just asking for advice from personal experience. Something that you do to help yourself be happy. Thanks for reading. I can't believe I have gone so long without knowing PC exists.

i, like you have this same problem. theres so much to appreciate in life and be grateful and thankful and look for the beauty in it but why i can't i appreciate and feel grateful for them? why do i stay here sad and unhappy with my life, ignoring everything good about it? well, my best advice is do something alone that is outgoing and a new experience. so i got extremely low, and i started going on a walk almost every week by myself when the weather was just right. but you could maybe find a hobby or go somewhere you love but by going by yourself, you gather all your thoughts together. take a journal with you if that helps. it seriously is a very therapeutic thing because you're relying on yourself to get to the root of your problem and fix it in a way that you like at your own pace and you don't have to worry about people's opinions or concerns. becoming happy is an extremely difficult and long process which is different for everyone. some people can be surrounded by their best friends or family and feel instantly happy, as some people, like me, it takes time and a lot of energy and self-willingness to become happy. don't rely on medication to be your only vice for becoming happy, although it is a helpful steeping stone. do things that you love if that's cooking your favourite meal or watching your favourite movie and write down everything you love about it. don't look back at what you write though. whether you're out and about and find a beautiful thing, write it down and slam that book shut. then, when you get really low you can read them back and it will make you realise that in particular moments there are things that can make you happy and hopefully that will keep you grounded no one is ever 100% happy, it just starts with you and only you and as long as you are able to do things by yourself, it really can make a difference

[beachgoer247]

Originally Posted by finebutnotokay

i, like you have this same problem. theres so much to appreciate in life and be grateful and thankful and look for the beauty in it but why i can't i appreciate and feel grateful for them? why do i stay here sad and unhappy with my life, ignoring everything good about it? well, my best advice is do something alone that is outgoing and a new experience. so i got extremely low, and i started going on a walk almost every week by myself when the weather was just right. but you could maybe find a hobby or go somewhere you love but by going by yourself, you gather all your thoughts together. take a journal with you if that helps. it seriously is a very therapeutic thing because you're relying on yourself to get to the root of your problem and fix it in a way that you like at your own pace and you don't have to worry about people's opinions or concerns. becoming happy is an extremely difficult and long process which is different for everyone. some people can be surrounded by their best friends or family and feel instantly happy, as some people, like me, it takes time and a lot of energy and self-willingness to become happy. don't rely on medication to be your only vice for becoming happy, although it is a helpful steeping stone. do things that you love if that's cooking your favourite meal or watching your favourite movie and write down everything you love about it. don't look back at what you write though. whether you're out and about and find a beautiful thing, write it down and slam that book shut. then, when you get really low you can read them back and it will make you realise that in particular moments there are things that can make you happy and hopefully that will keep you grounded no one is ever 100% happy, it just starts with you and only you and as long as you are able to do things by yourself, it really can make a difference

This is a very helpful piece. Thank you for taking the time to respond in so much detail. I am going to get a journal today. I have thought of starting one in the past but ended up just putting it off. I guess that would be my laziness in it's purest form.

[Slamjammer]

Happiness is not something that can be manipulated directly. Yes, you can change attitudes about various things that may annoy you, but that won't make you happy, only less annoyed.

Happiness is a BYPRODUCT of self-fulfillment and self-esteem, and of having a positive outlook on what tomorrow may bring. Of course, these things are the result of actions you have taken and decisions you have made yesterday and today.

You already know what those actions and decisions need to be. Just follow your inner voice.

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by beachgoer247

This is a very helpful piece. Thank you for taking the time to respond in so much detail. I am going to get a journal today. I have thought of starting one in the past but ended up just putting it off. I guess that would be my laziness in it's purest form.

haha sorry got a little bit carried away but my experience is too long to put into a shortened version yes! I'm so pleased, journals are so so helpful they are really therapeutic and you can make them a hobby by making them look pretty and creative, just let your mind wander

[Purple80]

I find something that helps me is to think of the positive things that have happened every day even when it's a bad day. Writing them down can be helpful. It takes time but trying to appreciate the smaller daily things makes a difference.

[Skanzi]

Read these 2 books:

- The power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
- Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins.

That's the most powerful combination of books I can think of.

Eckhart Tolle is about "Being present", talks all about how happiness can be found in this moment, by living in this moment and not thinking about the past or the future

Anthony Robbins, instead, is about "Getting somewhere". How you can grow in self-development and achieve great success.

Now, they may seem paradoxically contrary to each other, since Tolle talks about that you don't have to look for happiness in the future and that the present is all that matters, while Robbins talks about how you can achieve succes emotionally, financially, in relationships, in business, how you can change the world and encourages you to find and follow your life passion, how you can achieve your goals and how you can manage your emotions to make the most out of life.

But they are really not that contrary to each other, even though it may seem like that. They can be interfering, but they don't have to be. Because both books will develop your integrity and enrich your internal world. The trick is, that, it's great to have goals, a passion, and work towards achieving a lot of succes, but not if you're dependent on the goals and ambitions you set out to achieve. Then you're acting out of unhappiness in the present moment and desiring a better future, and that better future will in that case never come, whatever you may achieve.

So staying present and happy in the moment, while you are working towards your goals is the ultimate combination. Staying present and living in the moment without any goals is only something few people can do, monks, for example. Because there is an intrinscic desire for most people to follow their passion and that should not be ignored. On the other hand, when you are working your *** of trying to achieve success and gain happiness in the future, then it will also not work. Because happiness can only be found in the present moment. It's about the means, not the ends. But the ends have to be there because otherwise you would feel like your life has no purpose.

Think about hiking, you set out an destination to hike to, but it's not that you're not happy until you have arrived at your destination. It's about the hike itself, what you will see, feel, hear, smell and taste along the way. Observing the nature.

So order/buy these two books, they helped me personally tremendously:

-The power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
-Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins

Take Tolle's books as the main guideline, that book, or actually the message within it, is more important that Robbins book, though Robbins book can also change people tremendously for the better.

If you're a person who has always searched happiness through external things and have tried a lot of things with great discipline and have already achieved quite a lot of 'success' through it too, but you're still not happy, The power of Now is definately the way to go.

If, on the other hand, you've never worked hard and always have been lazy, undisciplined and gotten stuck in bad and unhealthy habits, than Awaken the Giant Within is more recommended for you. At least for now, because that can help you to build up a lot of great integral values. However, even through that self-improvement, don't forget the lessons you've learned in Tolle's book. Once you've gotten disciplined and you trust yourself that you have the willpower to do whatever you can to improve, then you should definately revert back to The power of Now as your main guideline for life.

Hope that helps :P

[dcpassion2009]

http://dauglyducklin.org/2014/07/27/...o-matter-what/

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by beachgoer247

This is a very helpful piece. Thank you for taking the time to respond in so much detail. I am going to get a journal today. I have thought of starting one in the past but ended up just putting it off. I guess that would be my laziness in it's purest form.

Journals can be helpful. The phone app I have, has a subgrouping for daily gratitude, etc.

I find it, decent, when slipping to the depression side, to reread my own words. Looking for any negative self talk, anything that may be more feelings based, less logical/ rational. Minding my perspective.

I learned by embracing and accepting whatever daily feelings, I may have, whether positive or negative, those feelings are mine. I accept the good with the bad.

Important when seeking a happier outlook.