Overly familar people

Jenni855 · Jul 28, 2014 at 10:36 AM

Out of interest, what would you think of someone who was very 'gushing' with everyone they met, kind of like 'Hi beautiful, how are you darling? That's great honeybunch.' This is even done in work to people they barely know. I find it quite weird to be so overfamilar.

Perna · Jul 28, 2014 at 11:03 AM

Some people just seem to have that style. I occasionally find it annoying, otherwise it does make me smile, it is so over the top and seemingly (to me) silly. Mostly I find it annoying when it is used on me or too soon after I see it used on another in exactly the same way, as if I am just like the other.

TheWell · Jul 28, 2014 at 02:28 PM

I don't like being called honey by anyone! Uggg I especially dislike it when someone is over familiar. It totally turns me off.

Jenni855 · Jul 28, 2014 at 03:47 PM

I find it odd to be so overfamilar to the point where it sounds kind of nauseating and inappropriate. Unprofessional in the workplace as well.

dumburn · Jul 29, 2014 at 09:57 AM

I can't stand it.
I dislike it enough coming from my own family, but tolerate it.
In my workplace there is one chap who calls all the women pet or sweetheart it just makes me gag.
We also have a "toucher", she thinks nothing of grabbing you round the waist, rubbing your lower back or patting your backside.

I know I am overly sensitive to this stuff, makes me want to cry and puke, but I agree no place for it in the work place

nicoleflynn · Jul 29, 2014 at 10:49 AM

It is called having no boundaries, so it is up to the people being touched, etc...to SAY something. That isn't being oversensitive; when people violate our physical or emotional boundaries, we need to make them aware that this kind of behavior is INappropriate.

As for the "toucher"---what I would do? I would say in a LOUD voice, please do not grab me or WHY are you touching my backside? This is a SHE?!

IrisBloom · Jul 29, 2014 at 11:52 AM

If it is on the job, complain to your supervisor. I had this happen one time. A guy that called all women "sweetie". The boss sent out a memo asking us to address each other with respect.

Silent Void · Jul 29, 2014 at 11:54 AM

I think "touchers" are starved for human contact. I don't like being touched at all, but I can understand their perspective.

Scottishmist · Jul 29, 2014 at 12:11 PM

This is an interesting one!

Last year I met a couple who are friendly and kind. The husband calls me darlin' and gives me a hug... in front of his wife and my husband. We are getting along nicely as friends and he's a talker like me. We have some very interesting conversations which I thouroughly enjoy.

At first I thought his behaviour was somewhat OTT but, now that I'm getting to know him I find him one of the most sincere and caring persons that I've met in a long time.

I come from Britain and we are not so demonstrative but I can forgive his somewhat gushiness under the circumstances and take it all in a light hearted way.

~rider · Jul 29, 2014 at 02:34 PM

It's a good ol American southern thing, darlin.

ifst5 · Jul 29, 2014 at 02:47 PM

I find this typical of the British to be honest...generally speaking we're not keen on these sorts of emotional displays. You've only got to look at the scores of people who go out of their way to avoid eye contact on the tube. I don't really have a problem with it per se...i think sincerity is obvious, and if you're not sincere yeah it can be uncomfortable but otherwise i think most adjust to it reasonably fast and at worst find it an occasional annoyance.

Jenni855 · Jul 29, 2014 at 05:13 PM

]This woman I know calls EVERYONE the same names as well so it sounds really insincere as well as nauseating.

Onward2wards · Jul 29, 2014 at 06:00 PM

I find that behavior pretty refreshing in a world that sometimes feels about as demonstrative and friendly as a lump of concrete. I get the urge to give these expressive people a reassuring hug.

HOWEVER...

People who are extremely friendly, with everyone, all the time, may face two consequences:
(1) It looks like they're not really paying attention to people sometimes. Hi, I'm having a horrible day, I just explained this, why are you acting like it's all sunshine and rainbows? Am I not actually here?

(2) I can imagine that sooner or later people assume they're being flirted with!!! If you don't want a flirty response back, please, back off the uber friendliness just a bit. "Onwards honeybunch darling" within two seconds of first meeting me might incline me to think there's more than "Hello" going on.

So it is kind of refreshing to me, but it can also get as confusing as people who are always gloomy, grumpy, stone-faced, pushy, or severely reserved. There's a time and a place for everything I guess.

nicoleflynn · Jul 29, 2014 at 06:24 PM

I am a hugger, kisser. touchy-feely; but I have a sense when someone doesnt want to be hugged.

glok · Jul 29, 2014 at 07:05 PM

I let those people know they might find a more enjoyable conversation somewhere else.

Jul 29, 2014 at 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenni855

Out of interest, what would you think of someone who was very 'gushing' with everyone they met, kind of like 'Hi beautiful, how are you darling? That's great honeybunch.' This is even done in work to people they barely know. I find it quite weird to be so overfamilar.

Being called 'babe, hun' makes me feel like a guy, i am just not feminine enough to accept that as a compliment or friendship sign. And 'love' as a replacement of my name, I just think, come on, you look so fake, how can anyone be that extroverted!

blueheelerlove · Jul 29, 2014 at 08:00 PM

I agree that it is not appropriate in the work place, however under other circumstances I don't find it weird. Then again, I'm in the US and in the South. We tend to be pretty huggy, darlin' and sweetie callin' type of people for the most part. Now I would give someone the side eye if they told me "sweetie, oh bless your heart" , otherwise it's just what I grew up with as "normal".

summerblueskies · Jul 29, 2014 at 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenni855

Out of interest, what would you think of someone who was very 'gushing' with everyone they met, kind of like 'Hi beautiful, how are you darling? That's great honeybunch.' This is even done in work to people they barely know. I find it quite weird to be so overfamilar.

it makes me uncomfortable. esp if the person is much older than me. then i feel they are treating me like a kid and i hate that! I also feel pressure to be super friendly right back which is difficult cuz i am very shy. I know they mean well but i just dont respond well to it.

Teacake · Jul 30, 2014 at 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent Void

I think "touchers" are starved for human contact. I don't like being touched at all, but I can understand their perspective.

It can be about asserting dominance.

Jenni855 · Jul 30, 2014 at 01:42 AM

I guess because she says it to everyone it seems fake and insincere as well as unprofessional in the workplace.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Overly familar people

My Support Forums

Jenni855 Member Member Since Jun 2014 Location: England Posts: 359 9 119 hugs given	Jul 28, 2014 at 10:36 AM #1 Out of interest, what would you think of someone who was very 'gushing' with everyone they met, kind of like 'Hi beautiful, how are you darling? That's great honeybunch.' This is even done in work to people they barely know. I find it quite weird to be so overfamilar.
	Reply With Quote

TheWell Carpe Diem Member Since Aug 2012 Location: New England, USA Posts: 4,312 11 631 hugs given	Jul 28, 2014 at 02:28 PM #3 I don't like being called honey by anyone! Uggg I especially dislike it when someone is over familiar. It totally turns me off.
	Reply With Quote

Jenni855 Member Member Since Jun 2014 Location: England Posts: 359 9 119 hugs given	Jul 28, 2014 at 03:47 PM #4 I find it odd to be so overfamilar to the point where it sounds kind of nauseating and inappropriate. Unprofessional in the workplace as well.
	Reply With Quote

IrisBloom Living Entity Member Since Jul 2014 Location: La La Land Posts: 28,949 (SuperPoster!) 9 2,365 hugs given	Jul 29, 2014 at 11:52 AM #7 If it is on the job, complain to your supervisor. I had this happen one time. A guy that called all women "sweetie". The boss sent out a memo asking us to address each other with respect. __________________
	Reply With Quote

Silent Void - Member Since Feb 2013 Location: - Posts: 3,115 11	Jul 29, 2014 at 11:54 AM #8 I think "touchers" are starved for human contact. I don't like being touched at all, but I can understand their perspective.
	Reply With Quote

~rider Member Member Since Jul 2014 Location: USA Posts: 78 9 2 hugs given	Jul 29, 2014 at 02:34 PM #10 It's a good ol American southern thing, darlin.
	Reply With Quote

Jenni855 Member Member Since Jun 2014 Location: England Posts: 359 9 119 hugs given	Jul 29, 2014 at 05:13 PM #12 ]This woman I know calls EVERYONE the same names as well so it sounds really insincere as well as nauseating.
	Reply With Quote

nicoleflynn Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2012 Location: rochester, michigan Posts: 3,111 12 60 hugs given	Jul 29, 2014 at 06:24 PM #14 I am a hugger, kisser. touchy-feely; but I have a sense when someone doesnt want to be hugged.
	Reply With Quote

glok Account Suspended Member Since Jun 2014 Location: South Overshoe Posts: 7,657 (SuperPoster!) 9	Jul 29, 2014 at 07:05 PM #15 I let those people know they might find a more enjoyable conversation somewhere else.
	Reply With Quote

Jenni855 Member Member Since Jun 2014 Location: England Posts: 359 9 119 hugs given	Jul 30, 2014 at 01:42 AM #20 I guess because she says it to everyone it seems fake and insincere as well as unprofessional in the workplace.
	Reply With Quote