[beachmom72]

I was diagnosed with progressive MS that has prevented me from working. I have applied for disability but I am drowning in debt. I have always thought my family was close and supportive but recently I am finding myself completely alone. I lost my father a few years ago and since my diagnosis my remaining family seems to pulling away. I am in financial crisis and my family has money but seems to treat me like a beggar or an addict that is panhandling. I swallowed my pride and called to ask for help with just utilities. I started to get emotional and both my aunt and grandmother quickly got off the phone. I am at the darkest and lowest point of my life and when I thought I could depend on family I am all alone. I have a 15 year old son who is starting to feel my anxiety despite my efforts. How do I get over losing my health, financial independence and family all at once and not fall apart? I will take any advice you have to offer.

[Little Lulu]

Have you contacted the Dept of Human Services in your state to check into getting help with utilities, SNAP (food stamps), local food bank, Medicaid, etc? A worker there should be able to tell you what you are eligible for. You can also contact a lawyer who deals in bankruptcy and/or debt consolidation. Some will do one free consult.

[beachmom72]

Originally Posted by Little Lulu

Have you contacted the Dept of Human Services in your state to check into getting help with utilities, SNAP (food stamps), local food bank, Medicaid, etc? A worker there should be able to tell you what you are eligible for. You can also contact a lawyer who deals in bankruptcy and/or debt consolidation. Some will do one free consult.

I have not been denied disability so not much an attorney can do just yet. I was just approved for food stamps so there is some relief. I am more upset that my family which has substantial means seems to be turning away from me the only time I have a true need for help.

[glok]

Sorry about what is happening, beachmom72.

I wish you well.

[Chysh]

Reach out to people who can be of mutual help. You help out someone who might be able to help you in some way. Such arrangements might offer long term help.
Meanwhile, about your family - perhaps there will be a change of mind soon.

[Gus1234U]

sadly, this is an all-too-common occurrence for people suffering from major illnesses, and especially with brain disorders. it's like we remind them of their own mortality. many species shun the sick and wounded in nature, and predators are there to end their misery, but we must endure.

i found that when i had finished grieving all my losses, life was much more bearable. perhaps you could find a grief support group, because you have lost as much as anyone, your former self...
best wishes~
'

[healingme4me]

Have checked into fuel assistance, to help with utilities? May need to wait for September, however. Credit department of the utility company, is worth a try.

I've found, the way families are about money lending bizarre. I've seen various family members through the years, lend to all the wrong ones, but if trying hardest and coming up short, too bad, so sad, is the treatment. As though perception of what's normal and healthy is the wrong choice and unhealthy and dysfunctional is the right choice.

Have you tried, through this community, for a little charitable help with utilities? Might need a petition like letter, that's worth trying or finding new direction. Utilities and rent are inflexible.

[Marg5]

Beachmom 72 - don't despair. Financial hardship seems to bring out the worst in people - emotions run high. Things are said that we later regret. Yet we are annoyed because family/friends did not seem keen on offering support, just when you needed it most. Times are bad for millions of people - and perhaps your family are struggling financially too - perhaps they felt bad that they could not easily offer you help, but they only way they could cope was to put the phone down. You are ill and that is when you need help most. What a rotten world we live in when despite years of paying taxes there is no system of help. In the old days families were in a stronger position to help - but now - everyone is struggling to survive and pay bills. It is tough for you, but I see nothing else apart from - take a very deep breath and look at a possible ways of handling this. Is there any way you can cut down your expenditure? Any way you can raise some cash to pay your bills - sell something. Then, try to cut down on the stress and worry because that will only make your health worse. If necessary - phone your family up - tell them you were stressed and you are sorry if you caused any offence. They might then appologise to you. The system is not going to put you up against the wall and shoot you for not paying your bill. Keep things in perspective and try not to worry - worry will achieve nothing. If they cut off your electricity - get the candles out and say - I'll get the electricity re-connected again one day soon. Good luck.