I am losing my enjoyment to go outside

Hello
I am 36//
Me and my sister are living together both not married ..after my mother died many years ago every of our relatives gave me advice to not let my sister( is bigger than me) alone any time because she is very shy and quite person in public places if they saw me somewhere alone there it was starting the advices where is my sister and why she is not with me. little by little I started to blame myself so fixed everything more to not let her alone doing home job not going out for a long time..behind all of this something what everybody didnt knew was-that my sister behavior was-is not the same as it is outside of home,,inside the home my sister was always with a kind of war with my mother..having serious arguments ending with trowing things on the floor and my mother who had hearth problems was always the one who was going to her room and sitting there for hours she wanted me to not tell anyone of this behavior . now I notice that my sister is trying to do the same things to me was doing to my mother..whenever I want to go out she is trying to make me angry blaming me of going out ..I am starting to lose my enjoyment to go anywhere furthermore I feel nervous and afraid that she is going to tell me something to make me angry.. I am really confused I need time to be myself .

Hello, lanada45, and welcome to Psych Central! I think you need to just lay the cards on the table with your sister. It sounds like she is a master manipulator. I suggest you tell her that you want and in fact need to get out, and you are going to. And do it! And don't feel the least bit guilty. If anyone says anything about your not being with your sister, then you can say, "Contrary to popular opinion, she is capable of staying by herself." And move on.....

If she acts like a brat, then just ignore her. Is there any way you could move into your own place if you need to? You need to set some boundaries with her. I don't want to make this suggestion sound like manipulation of your own. But you might need to say, "Sis, you if keep acting like ( whatever ), then I might need to find my own place to live. And be prepared to do it!

If you can't set these boundaries on your own, then I suggest you meet with a therapist for support. You need your own life and rightly should have it!