[Shadix]

When I look at the "hallmark" traits of NPD, it doesn't sound like me at all. I don't feel special in any way, I don't exaggerate my talents/achievements, and I am very considerate of and concerned with other people's feelings. But then when I read about other aspects of a person with NPD, I find myself able to relate pretty well.

One thing I read recently is someone saying how narcissists desire things which they fantasize about having, but it is just really the fantasy they desire and when they achieve the actual thing, it doesn't satisfy them. This is what I think may be going on with me and why I am so unhappy with my life. I am a 26 year old male who was socially awkward in school and college and never really got the chance to enjoy the dating scene. I have constantly obsessed over the "idea" of cute girls(especially the college girls), and I am always feeling like my life isn't complete because I've never had any experiences with them like other guys. Yet when I really think about it, I have no idea what it is I want with these girls. It's not about sex, because I've gotten that from escorts and it doesn't mean much to me, I have no desire to be in a committed relationship, and as far as attention/validation, I actually have had attractive girls show interest in me on several occasions, so I kinda have that. So I really don't know what I want, I usually describe it to myself as "casual dating experiences" but I don't know what there would for me to gain out of that other than the things I already mentioned. So it does indeed seem like a "fantasy" of which the actual thing would not satisfy me. Idk though.

Anyways, is this something that is exclusive to NPD? Are there any other disorders which feature this? Because this is really what seems to be causing my problems in life, and my depression, anxiety, and AvPD have never been able to explain it.

Hello Shadix: I'm not really in a position to tell you if what you're experiencing is considered to be part of any other conditions besides NPD. I know I certainly have lots of desires for things & I don't really know what I'd do with them if I got them!

To some extent, I suspect everyone has this kind of experience to some extent. Perhaps yours is more troublesome to you than it is to others though. I once had a psych professor in college who said that mental illness behaviors are simply the same behaviors we all have, but carried to an extreme.

My thought, with regard to your concern, is that this would be a good subject to discuss in detail with a therapist. If you can find one who is to your liking, this person can assist you with getting to the root of this problem.

Best wishes...