my life has been 1 obsession after another and i want to break the cycle...

as long as i can remember i've always had some obsession with something. as a kid this was probably normal but now im 31 and still have this problem and its getting really annoying. its more than an interest/hobby, its an intense obsession where i will obsess over the thing and pretty much ignore everything else, then after a few weeks/months/years i'll drop it completely and forget about it when a new obsession comes along. thats what bothers me most... i put so much time and effort and sometimes money into something then it all goes out the window a few months later and the cycle starts again with something new. the past few years i have managed to STOP myself from going too deep into things and definitley not buying things so i dont waste money or too much time but then i'm frustrated because i dont have whatever it is. but then when that obsession is over im so glad i didnt buy into it too much but then i have the same problem with the next and the next, it never ends

years ago i had an obsession with pokemon. playing the games and knowing everything about it wasnt enough. i think it was jump started by finding an old tin of pokemon cards i had from when i was about 15 and i think thats what did it, i had to go and buy loads more cards to add to my collection. still not enough, i had to buy toys too etc. i was in my early-mid 20s at the time and im pretty sure thats too old for pokemon toys! this went on for almost a year then i just ditched it completely, sold all the cards and figures and i was angry at how much money i had wasted on them

some are downright unhealthy, the worst was neopets when i was about 21. i started off playing it because i was bored but then i started getting totally into it and making money (the virtual money/points they have on there) spending almost every waking hour doing something on that, it got to its worst when they had a football/world cup event where you had to get points for your team or to buy special items with the points. i became so obsessed with getting points on there i started neglecting everything else, i'd spend all day on it, i even skipped meals and just ate crisps and chocolate bars. fortunatley once that event was over i calmed down a bit and eventually it started to wear off until i left the site altogether. so yea all that "work" was a total waste of time. fortunatley i've never had an obsession that bad since then but im worried something like that might happen again. i always tell myself that i probably wont because im 10 years older and (should) be much more sensible but i dont know... :s

i've had many obsessions, too many to list. but a lot of them have run expensive, like crafting, especially beads, i bought LOADS because i liked the idea of it, then made a few things, then got bored and sold the stuff. none of these obsessions are useful, they are all stupid and pointless

i have some reccurring obsessions (getting sick of that word now lol) like reading and drawing, which i will spend A LOT of time on then just not bother for months or years then come back to it. i had a very short lived drawing obsession recently, i drew a couple of pictures, spent ages trying to get them perfect, failed and gave up. my current obsession is too stupid to mention but im really hoping it goes away soon, but i know that will probably only happen if its replaced with another one. and its not showing any signs of stopping (or turning into something else). tbh though it doesnt matter what it is, it feels like it could just be the same thing, the problems are usually still the same so it doesnt make any difference. in the end they are all meaningless

ive tried searching on the internet and there are other people with this problem but i cant find anything about curing/fixing it, and just breaking free from it because a lot of the time they do interfear with my life

...so is there anything i can do?

Hello there, welcome to Psych Central.

First of all I would like to say to go easy on yourself, they were not a waste of time at the time, these things kept you occupied. Everyone has obsessions to some extent, it only becomes a problem when you feel compelled to do it and it starts ruling your life. OCD is about trying to make things feel safe. So it appears, you needed these hobbies at the time. Ask yourself, what is it that you need in your life to replace this and how can you go about it? An idea, might be good to look into volunteering for example. If you feel these obsessions are ruling your life, then please go and see your doctor, it may be there is an underlying anxiety and this is your way of coping. Medication and/or psychotherapy may help.

You are normal to me. You learned from each obsession you had. Life is an learning experience. I wish you many new "obsessions" in the New Yesr!

thanks for the responses

im not sure what it is i need in life, or what i want. i have never known tbh, maybe that is my problem. i cant figure out what to do so my brain just plucks something random out of thin air?

i wish i could take control of it though, but i just dont know what to do instead...

I too think it's quite normal :/ It's common for game players I guess.. Some of my friends were like that too. They wasted money, time and sleep due to some sort of games they're playing. A better term would be "addiction". And in my opinion you're never too late for anything. Be it plushies or dolls or childish games, or even drugs. I was addicted to Facebook and Twitter once, until one day a day before an exam, I messaged all my friends goodbye and told my mom to keep my phones and computers for one whole month. It worked. Addiction over.

Don't feed on stuff you feel addicted. Throw them away, I mean literally. I threw away my DVD collection, felt guilty and regretted spending money on them, I taught myself that it was a lesson and that they were junks.

Good luck with overcoming your addictions

but most of the time its more of a thought, theres no physical things to get rid of, just thoughts... like it is now

Well currently what aspects of your life is it interfering with? Also I do not think any of the obsessions seemed stupid.

stops me from sleeping, takes over my mind when i should be thinking about sensible/important stuff, forgetting stuff

Hi Magical Loser,

I think a healthier perspective to think about your "obsession" is... you are a very passionate and dedicated person! Not a lot of people are able to pool all their attention and focus it on doing the best they can at something. So kudos to you!

It sounds like you are having trouble making up your mind about what you are truly passionate about. Is this possibly a result of having had someone else tell you what to do for your whole life? If so, maybe you need a little bit of practice making decisions for yourself.

You can start out small by purchasing a new sweater you like for yourself. Or going out for a walk if you feel like you want a change of scenery. The point is to take action rather than wait for someone else to validate or give you an idea. I could give you endless suggestions for things to do...but at the end of the day, I am not you and I am not the amazing person walking in your shoes!

A potential issue I see you running into is that you can't really "control" your interests. You might have 1,000 interests you didn't know you had! But not being exposed to them, or possibly not having moral support to pursue your interests can hinder you from finding something that feels right for you.

Finding your life's purpose in a day is pretty tough. But once you feel more in power of making decisions and choices, you can properly brainstorm, try new things, and choose what you think is suitable for you. I wish you the best of luck!

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For the record, I know exactly what you are talking about with the whole Neopets thing (I used to do the same as you). Don't sweat it!

i havent had anyone making desicions for me or telling me what to do or like, but at the same time im not really good at doing that myself either so it seems whatever happens is random

i also wouldnt say i was dedicated since i just drop it and move onto something else, surely if i was dedicated i would keep going?

the bad thing about focusing all my attention on 1 thing is that i neglect other stuff i should be doing, i just have no interest in the other things so i just wont do them (even though i know i should). for instance when i was a teenager id obsessively play (mostly the same) video games all the time and not do homework/exam revision (because it was boring probably). its not quite so bad as that now. i will usually do other really important things too but other not so important things get ignored, but i know i should do them and it makes me irritable and frustrated

nobody else i know does this. they have interests and enjoy them in moderation and usually stick with them forever (or at least a very long time) and they dont totally consume there lives. for me it feels like when i dump something it feels like it was a complete waste of my life because it never went anywhere...

You said that you were obsessed about some thoughts, I'm just curious.. What kind of thoughts are they..? For what I know the examples you gave are all physical, if I'm not mistaken..

Also, please cheer up! It takes time, but the problem will be solved eventually.

i dont really want to say what the thoughts are but they are mostly about stuff i cant have (either because of money or some other reason). they are really useless thoughts but the more i try to ignore them they get worse. also for some reason they get worse at night when im trying to sleep. i do write stuff down before i go to bed and it helps with some stuff but not the really annoying things

Reading is a healthy obsession : )

Try exploring this perspective. Spend some time contemplating and reflecting upon the types of feelings and emotions that are generated within you when you develop a new 'interest' and then find yourself becoming fixated on it. How does it make you feel while you are going through this process? Do you feel excitement, elation, exuberance? If so, might seeking to generate those particular emotions be a means for compensating for other aspects of your mental state that may be lacking/hurting? Does the way you treat these hobbies/activities give you some sense of having control, structure, security? Perhaps a sense of purpose and direction? If so, can you determine if subconsciously may be longing for these types of qualities in your life and your transient interests provide you with a more superficial sense of fulfilling this? Some of the hobbies you mentioned and as you noted might be more appropriate for a younger crowd. Is there any association between those hobbies and memories of your childhood or youth - perhaps a desire to return to an earlier state of being? It sounds like these interests really consume and occupy your mind when you're engaged in them. Is there anything from your past life experience that's been really difficult for you to cope with and emotionally process - and could these hobbies/interests be a means for distracting (and occupying) your mind and more or less protecting you from devoting any conscious energy to something that might be uncomfortable and challenging to address?

I'm just throwing ideas out there for you to contemplate. Look at your 'obsessions' as a symptom of an underlying cause. If you just attempt to control the symptoms (behavior) only, you are not going to be getting to the heart of the matter and the true source that is responsible for creating those symptoms in the first place. If I had to guess I would suspect that there is some underlying emotional energy (or blockage) that you are subconsciously carrying with you and that through instrospection and self-reflection you will be able to identify exactly what's transpiring within you in terms of what's fueling your mindset and behaviors. By confronting, acknowledging, and allowing yourself to fully consciously experience previously suppressed/repressed emotions - you will release them and free yourself from their prior influence and affect on you.

Magic, I don't have any quick fixes for you but I can surely relate. I can't even read a book w/o having to get through the thing as fast as possible even if it means reading non stop for a couple of days. Painting, drawing, cleaning, shopping, and the list goes on...What has helped me is to carefully select what I am willing to put my time into because I know I'm going to be super obsessive about it. For example a good investment of my time is my job. I am surely one of the hardest workers there, not even stopping for a food or potty break. By the time I get home I'm too tired to get into to much other stuff. Bad investment of my time, checking out some games on my IPhone during my vacation and was hooked instantly. Took me several weeks and many wasted hours to quit cold turkey. I jut try to make very deliberate choices now. Not a cure all but it has helped me.

the emotions... i cant quite figure out, there is a great deal of frustration and been annoyed at it but underneath there is probably some exitement or joy, its really hard to tell!

im not sure its caused by anything that happened because i've had this problem my whole life, seems to be something i was born with... a mental defect maybe. apparantly i "got stuck" and was strangledby the cord or something and starved of oxygen when i was born (and born through a c section) and i have read that this can cause mental defects and i've sometimes wondered if it was that. is this possible? and if so does this mean im stuck like this or is there anyway to still cure it?

im not sure about supressed emotions, afaik there is none. i really dont know the main thing im lacking in life is money, as i've been unemployed for ages. i've been called mentally unfit for work because im incapable of getting on with people in the proper way (same for college). i am totally socially inept, i have no social life, when i talk to people i always say/do the wrong things, not sure how to act in certain situations and cannot keep eye contact ans sometimes my mind wanders and im not listening. im so ignorant nobody wants to have anything to do with me but i cant help it it just happens. so now i dont bother trying.

im not really bothered by it tho because i dont feel i need it. i find it a lot easier to write things, tho i still find it hard to describe how i feel etc, to find the write words, its really frustrating because i know what im feeling and what i mean but i just dont know how to put it into words and get the point across... (which is probably what is happening here so i apologise for that)

i feel like everything i do is a bad investment of time as im unemployed. i do see exercise as a good investment of time, or housework or whatever, something i feel is useful because other people would approve of it. im not sure if that is the right way to think but i think it is. obessively thinking about stupid things definitley is not a good investment. also recently i've become obsessed with reading stuff about my problems on the internet, looking for a fix for it, i went to bed stupidly late last night because of this. i know its wrong afterwards but sometimes i get so absorbed i dont care at the time. like i said before, everything else just disappears...

So sorry to hear about your struggles.. what you wrote, is so me.. i can totally relate to you, but unfortunately i don't know how to stop either.. I only get obsessed with people, not things.. Big hugs for you x

Stop judging your thoughts so much! Just go with them and the learning that comes with them. You thoughts seem quite normal and healthy. Read other posts here in this forum. Yours seem mild compared to some of the intrusive thoughts I seen posted here.

ok ill try forget about it

fortunately i never get obsessed with people, that could be a problem

Keep in touch Magic. You are not alone. Many people here who do the same thing. It helps to talk it out.

Magic. I have done this too—*my whole life. One obsession overlapping into the next.

I was never a collector, mainly because that's what my Mom does and I avoid it so not to become a hoarder — and I don't have the money to spend but if I did... I'd love to be a collector. What you're doing sounds reasonable to me. Collect -then sell.

I would often obsess over celebrities, for the most part. Musicians, Then actors... all of a certain type (older male -father figures) and t.v. shows or book series. Then there were the crushes on real-life people. I have spent months to years distantly obsessed with individuals whom I've never had an actual conversation with.

The internet as been a blessing and a cures. For one, it makes this much easier to obsess 24/7. I used to have to go to the library to research my interests, not I just log on to obsess for hours. On the other hand, it also normalizes it for me. I no longer feel 'weird' about my obsessions because I know there's a community of people out there who have the same interests.

I've always felt that my obsessions and crushes taught me something in the long run. If it's a celebrity, they had to be a certain kind of intelligent and usually their interviews introduced me to new interests and perspectives (Alan Rickman led me to Doris Lessing. David Strathairn led me to Willa Cather, Checkov, etc.) I get what your'e saying about 'useless' though. I often wish I could be this obsessed over something that would get me a better job or had me do better in school - but let's be real "Mathmatics" just doesn't look as good in a suit and tie and say, Benedict Cumberbatch.

But this is just how my brain works. Sometimes I would feel shamed about it but most of my friends are usually amused. I often feel joyful with my obsessions. I have a creative mindset and I'm not embarrassed about that. I feel like it's my minds way of working out things and having an outlet.

I did, however, realize that I was avoiding depression, anxiety and some other issues with these activities though. It's a support system. You might examine what it is you get from these obsessions and maybe what you might be avoiding.

In any event, I think you need to be kinder to yourself. You don't deserve to be shamed over something that isn't harming anyone.

Have you considered mindfulness meditation?