[lonestar53]

OK here is a question that has been chasing me for a great part of my life and speaking of life I was really scared this last time I had surgery and thought why should I be scared I did this 6 times before but something inside of me and the look in my wife eyes really hit me ok to the question how do I over come the fact that at my age I have made a total mess out of everything handed to me and yes I am happy but I am not happy does that make sense I lived so much did so many things raised kids did the married and divorced thing which was stupid but here I sit laid up in my chair just looking back and trying to leave all that behind and try and give my wife / my kids / my grand babies the best that I can even though I can't dance like I use to there is still something I can do before my time

[pegasus]

I'm not sure what your question is. Part of the human condition is to question our existence. Sounds to me like you are doing the best you can under the circumstances and you are trying. Depression makes us look at all the negatives. You are welcome to express your feelings here. Listening here with you...

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by lonestar53

OK here is a question that has been chasing me for a great part of my life and speaking of life I was really scared this last time I had surgery and thought why should I be scared I did this 6 times before but something inside of me and the look in my wife eyes really hit me ok to the question how do I over come the fact that at my age I have made a total mess out of everything handed to me and yes I am happy but I am not happy does that make sense I lived so much did so many things raised kids did the married and divorced thing which was stupid but here I sit laid up in my chair just looking back and trying to leave all that behind and try and give my wife / my kids / my grand babies the best that I can even though I can't dance like I use to there is still something I can do before my time

Did you really 'make a mess of things' or did you have impossibly high standards? Most people make a mess of quite a lot of their lives, but there is much that it is possible to be quietly satisfied with. However what is done is done and to quote Winston Churchill: We must just KBO ('Keep Buggering On').

Sometimes having a place to vent/people to talk to can improve your mood. Improving your mood will in turn make for a happier family..like the other posters have said, I saw no question but its normal to question existing as a whole. Good luck my friend