depression or normal from life's circumstances?

This is a general question here. I am beginning to wonder if I am depressed or if my reactions are part of a normal processing? Like most folks, things in life can get rough, tough and we must do something with that. I don't believe that we all have to be smiles and jest. There are times when due to circumstances, we get down, have a hard time of sleeping etc.
As for me, it is complicated and I don't want to bore anyone but my turn of life is like a web of various situations that just leaves me stumped to the point where it is difficult to make decisions....and soon I will be forced into making one...lease running out of my apartment and must move.

So, then why is that so difficult? well...it is a long story but, I moved to this country two years ago and had reverse culture shock, I cannot find a "real" job to sustain me so I must share a place with others. I am 55 and have never been in this situation. America is different, (I am American but lived away for 20 years). There are clear divisions between the aged and the young, there are rules that make it more difficult to live in a place, there is credit ratings, leases where they raise the rent every year by an amount much more than anyone would get in a raise at work! It costs a ton to move, and move again and again. wow

Anyway, I have looked for a real job for 2 years (in the attempt to be near my older children) nada, nothing I now work in retail at a toy store that leads to nowhere, a mom and pop shop.

Okay, so what's the problem? Every time I apply for a job abroad, I get an interview and a job offer. I can survive better there, but....it does get complicated because I am older. I know that I don't want to grow old alone and in a foreign country but this one does not let me survive.

IN one month, I must decide to either pack up and leave or stay.
I can't sleep, I am not hungry, I cry, I feel all blocked up.

Is this depression? Is this why it is so difficult to make a decision?

Hi decisiontime

I do not feel equipped enough to answer your question as to whether or not this is depression.

But I did find this interesting article on depression that may be of interest to you:

Depression Symptoms, Information and Treatment - Psych Central

you have alot going on at once, it would drive anyone bonkers. i'm sorry you can't find a job, i will pray you do. you are not crazy, and keep looking for a job, sometimes we have to wait for things in Gods time, not ours.

Is there someone you can process this with? get some in person attention?

There never was an American dream. Wages are stagnent and the people employers do keep are over worked. It is normal to feel the stress and anxiety you have from all of this. Moving to another country looks like the only option for someone like you.

Hello decisiontime, welcome to Psych Central.

Yes this does sound like depression brought on by your circumstances, situational depression. When you keep applying for jobs and get knocked down over and over and can't afford to eat and can't afford heating, it is going to affect your mental health. I will say this though, talking from experience, do not give up hope! I say this because as soon as you get a job that pays the rent and food, you will start to feel a whole lot better. One more thing, bear in mind that starting a new job is stressful (and you will find one eventually) but moving country aswell is double the stress. Good luck.

This isn't in answer to anything you asked, but you might call Social Security (either your local office or their main number at 1-800-772-1213) to find out if you paid enough Social Security taxes when you lived in the US before to make you eligible for a pension and Medicare when you get to retirement age (age 62 or older, I think).

Good luck to you.