[skinny118]

I retired about nine months ago and recently a dear friend brought to my attention that I haven't done anything I said I was going to do after I retired. I had all these great plans, but have just sort of frozen up and done none of them. It's almost like I'm stuck in the mud and can't move. I'm not sure why I'm this way.

As my friend pointed out, I wasn't like this before I retired. I was always busy and did the things I said I would do. Any ideas why I'm stuck?

[Thunder Bow]

Maybe those plans were false and based on what you felt you should do, rather than what you wanted to do. Go with the feeling of being stuck for now. You do not need "Great Plans". No need to be busy all the time. Relax, and soon you will be on new adventures you never thought of!

[gayleggg]

I've been going through the same thing. My therapist is trying to help me understand the dynamics of retirement and the adjustment that so much free time takes. I'm trying to learn to fill my hours with stuff but it's hard to fill an entire day. He says I need to relax and learn that it's okay if I'm not a ball of fire anymore. That it's okay to sit back and take it easy. Maybe all your plans just aren't that important any more. My priorities have changed so maybe your has too and that's okay.

((((((skinny118))))))

[pegasus]

Hello skinny118, retirement is a major life changing event. That change where you go from working and meeting people everyday and then to nothing... It could be that you are just adjusting to the change or you could be getting depressed? We can't diagnose here so please go and see your doctor if these feelings continue.

[nushi]

Hey skinny,

I also got this feeling several times before when my life altered between major changes; like after finishing high school, & after finishing college...

I always make great plans for myself before the change happens, & after it happens, I keep on going with my life doing nothing of these plans, feeling depressed & stuck, & useless, & confused...

The change of your condition is a very tough phase in your life, that you have to adjust to, & make sure that you take care not to fall into the deep pit of depression that is so easy to fall in, in such life changing phases!

I suggest 3 things for you to do, to cope with this change:

1. Since you're in a different phase of your life that you never experienced before (post-retirement), that means that you're consciously or unconsciously changing your life habits, even the little ones. So I suggest that you take care to implant good new habits, & take care not to acquire bad habits, that might be very hard for you to get rid of later! Like for ex., perhaps your habit when you were working is to wake up in the early morning. Now, after retirement, you might find yourself unconsciously taking to the habit of waking up late, since you find nothing to fill your day with! Try not to fall to this habit, & instead adjust to the good habit of waking up early, whatever your mood or circumstances... Also for ex., it would be very easy for you to fall into laziness as you get older. But instead, you could acquire the habit of taking a one/two hours walk everyday in the same time (on a different track everyday to explore new pathways), whatever your mood is in this day, & even if you feel lazy...

2. I think you also feel stuck because you didn't put plans on "how to" apply your big plans, step by step. I suggest that you start enlisting your plans in a paper, & take it one by one, put a plan for each one & the steps you have to take to start applying them. It's very easy to have "great plans" & "big dreams" & do nothing... So you have to get a pencil & a paper, & start breaking this "great plan" into little steps that you do everyday. Like for ex., if one of your plans is travel to Egypt for ex. (LOLZ), you can take small steps everyday, by appropriating one/two hours everyday to searching over the internet for sightseeing locations, or groups of people discussing how they traveled to Egypt... etc. & you have to also make it a habit of yours that you do everyday, however your mood is ('cause like I said, it's very easy to plunge into depression during these changes, so when you keep doing the little steps as habits WHATEVER YOUR MOOD IS OR HOWEVER YOU FEEL LIKE NOT INTO IT TODAY but YOU KEEP DOING THEM ANYWAY, it's the only way to keep yourself from falling into emptiness & depression)...

3. & this is the most important... that you see a psychotherapist, social worker, or life coacher... 'cause those are the ones who will guide you somehow through this big change in your life, & hold your hand while your making it through happily...

I heard that some people actually made their greatest achievements in life after they retires. I think this depends on how you wisely try to take it step by step through this new phase in your life...