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Brokenhead
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Default Jul 05, 2015 at 10:24 PM
  #1
Hi,

I think my ex is dating his former therapist and I don't know if I'm allowed to file a complaint?

What proof do I need? Would the complaint be taken seriously? He told me he had feelings for her before therapy ended and now I think their dating
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iwonderaboutstuff
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Default Jul 06, 2015 at 07:52 AM
  #2
What makes you think they're dating?
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Brokenhead
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Default Jul 06, 2015 at 08:42 AM
  #3
We're still living together and he's been spending a lot of time texting someone and I don't know who...he told me he had mentioned his attraction in therapy and she admitted hers, too. They terminated back in November and he said they'd be together if they could. He gave me a book to read and I realized she'd given it to him (maybe while still in therapy, I don't know), cause there was a boarding pass with her name on it from last year...if I have his phone records and trace her number, would that help?
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amandalouise
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Default Jul 06, 2015 at 06:50 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brokenhead View Post
We're still living together and he's been spending a lot of time texting someone and I don't know who...he told me he had mentioned his attraction in therapy and she admitted hers, too. They terminated back in November and he said they'd be together if they could. He gave me a book to read and I realized she'd given it to him (maybe while still in therapy, I don't know), cause there was a boarding pass with her name on it from last year...if I have his phone records and trace her number, would that help?
you could report to the ethics board but let me show you something....

your words you dont know who he was texting. so it could have been anyone on this earth.

your words the book was given to him but it could have been while still in therapy , therapists do give their clients books to read if theres something in the book they are working on. with out his permission you cant have access to his therapy files so who knows what they were discussing and why his therapist gave him the book.

he admitted his attraction and so did the therapist...well thats also part of the therapy process some locations the therapeutic term for this discussion is called discussing attachments and relationships. I tell my therapist she has a fantastic rear view (behind) and she tells me I have fantastic eyes, her attraction to people is eyes and mine is rear views. I have told my therapist I love and am attracted to her and she has said the same thing but it was in context of a therapeutic discussion on sex, relationship, attractions, fantasy ....that doesnt mean my therapist and I are dating or will ever date. it just means we are being honest with each other and working the therapeutic process around such topics.

your words he said they would be together if they could...well obviously something is preventing them from being together otherwise he would have said we are together and not include the words if we could. theres also the context of how and when he said that. sometimes people say things like this to make the other jealous or said out of anger or show someone they are holding on to them too tight with no room to breath so to speak...gosh there are so many ways he could have meant this depending upon what the full situation/cntext it was said in was...

phone records and tracing will only show he called her...we dont whether he's back in treatment with her or trying to set up reentering treatment with her. phone records are not going to tell you what their conversation was...

my point is that if you reported in my location based on what you posted it would be thrown out as unfounded and possibly marked down as a false allegation based on your mental problems or your seeing things that are not proven.

in order for you to win a case like this you basically need photos of the two actually out on a date holding hands.....

you also need to prove this was going on while he was still in treatment with her. NY has a dual relationship law that does allow treatment providers and ex clients to become romantically involved. so you would have to have access to his mental health records to show their supposed romance was going on before the ethics law allowed them to. to get that this person would need to sign a release form for you to have copies of his records...

see what I mean you live in america so you can report anyone for anything but that does not mean you will win the court case of an ethics hearing.
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iwonderaboutstuff
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Default Jul 07, 2015 at 09:14 AM
  #5
hmmm... I see where you're coming from. I'm not sure that indicates the person he's texting is her. It would be highly unusual for a therapist to admit an attraction to a patient, assuming they actually felt one. He may have interpreted her response to his admission as a reciprocal admission because that's what he wanted to hear. The fact that he said they'd be together "IF" they could, suggests they're not to me; and she set that boundary.

Tracing the number he is frequently texting is likely to tell you who it belongs to. Not necessarily, though, depending on who it is and how he knows them. It might look like he's texting cell to cell, but he could be using an app.
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JustaDude64
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Default Jul 10, 2015 at 02:25 PM
  #6
The 1st question that comes to my mind is "Under what legal theory would your complaint be based?"
In general, you have to show how you have been harmed by the wrongful acts of another. Were you hurt? I would never question that, but were you harmed in a legal sense is a different question. The more important part of my question is that about "wrongful acts of another". Most jurisdictions have very specific rules governing therapist/patient relations and what is and is not allowed. I would start by looking at what specific acts you believe (and might be able to prove with sufficient investigation) were done, asking how you were directly impacted by the acts, and whether any harm was actually intended by the acts. If, after careful reflection, you believe the harm was intended, you almost certainly have grounds for a complaint and perhaps a lawsuit as well. If the harm was incidental, but clearly foreseeable from an objective viewpoint, the same answer applies. If, on the other hand, harm was not clearly foreseeable, you might reconsider filing a complaint.
All that said, you do owe to yourself and the community some duty of protection of what you perceive as potential harm. Look deep within and et your conscience be your guide. Best wishes in finding solace.
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