[WhoWillIBe80]

I'll try to keep this somewhat short -

I feel like I have the inability to form long-term relationships.

I'm in my mid-30's and I've been married twice (currently married). The first time was for nearly 10 year - yes, I know, this is long-term. However, only about 2-3 years of the marriage I felt "close" to my significant other. The remaining years was all about keeping other people happy.

My current marriage is trending in the same direction.

I stopped talking with my father 10 or so years ago and had little interaction with him for 6-7 years prior to that. He never had anything positive to say when I was younger and often "micro managed" everything I did....from telling me how to start the lawn mower, to other meaningless stuff. I finally saw no use in maintaining a relationship with him, so I stopped talking to him.

My first wife had a young child when we got married, who I raised for almost 10 years. The child decided to no longer have anything to do with me when we split up. I was upset about this, for a very short time. We also had a child together. This child is now a teenager and has, as recently as the past week, told me that they no longer want contact with me either.

I have, in no way, been neglective or abusive to either child. I've been supportive of everything they have wanted to do. Both of them gave me the reason is because I left their mom and that they feel I ditched the family. The second child has just held this in for a few years until (I'm assuming) they decided they were old enough to speak their peace.

Long story short, the second child thing just came up last week...and I'm already at the point of just moving on.

I feel like, even with my children and spouses, that I cannot form a long-term bond with them. I care about them, but I feel that it would be easy for me to be unattached to them as well.

Now that I'm typing this out, I'm seeing that it is hard to put my feelings into words....I'm just not sure where to start. I do not see either relationship (my child or my spouse) lasting much longer...and I'm frustrated by this, but I have a hard time saying that I am upset by this....

so...where do I start? What's wrong with my emotions (or lack of)?

[Thunder Bow]

There nothing wrong with you or your emotions. What you are seeing are typical very young child reactions to a father moving away. I see this all the time! You had a trubbled marriage with your 1st wife. You had to leave, which was probably a good thing. But very young children can not see ot understand that kind of thing. They just react and carry that reaction into adult life. They need a therapist to help them understand it. All you can do is be patent and open with your children.