[fosterthehuman]

So i'ved noticed this problem a couple of times. I've gone to a therapist years ago and after a few appointments, I was still feeling anxious and depressed and my therapist said that she couldn't help me if i didn't want to help myself or change my ways of things. About a year ago, I saw another therapist that ended up telling me the same thing on the day of our last session. I told her about i felt guilty about something and i couldn't get over it, and she told me that i came to her office talking about the same things and topics every time and that she tries to help but it's difficult cause i didn't take her advice, she sounded really annoyed with me. i mean, i took her advice with different situations we talked about before. but i get where she came from cause a lot of times i would ask reassuring questions and say negative thoughts that came into my head (ik i'm annoying). A few days ago, my bf and i were arguing and ik i started it cause i was in this bad mood cause i thought he was ignoring me but it turned out he wasn't. and then i kept saying i was sorry and confused and i felt horrible about it, and he was like, okay, it's fine, let's get over it. but i just remember still having negative thoughts and everything i would say was negative or my demeanor seemed like i shut down and everything in the world sucked. and he got upset and said you need to let things go. ik i need help, i just wish i knew why it's difficult for me or why i act like that. i hate the fact that i annoy and upset people with this. i kind of feel weird and it's making me not want to see a therapist again or talk to people about my problems cause i'm scared i'm going to eventually upset them. also, recently i noticed i ask people around me reassuring questions whenever i feel anxious or want to ease my mind of a fear in order to get rid of discomfort of some kind. like, i ask my bf how i look (makeup, hair, clothes wise) a lot. i'll tell him or someone i know about a situation and ask them if i did anything wrong in the situation in order to give myself closure. i want to work on this stuff and but idk what to do. has anyone ever done these things or experienced this? i would like some advice. thanks.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by fosterthehuman

So i'ved noticed this problem a couple of times. I've gone to a therapist years ago and after a few appointments, I was still feeling anxious and depressed and my therapist said that she couldn't help me if i didn't want to help myself or change my ways of things. About a year ago, I saw another therapist that ended up telling me the same thing on the day of our last session. I told her about i felt guilty about something and i couldn't get over it, and she told me that i came to her office talking about the same things and topics every time and that she tries to help but it's difficult cause i didn't take her advice, she sounded really annoyed with me. i mean, i took her advice with different situations we talked about before. but i get where she came from cause a lot of times i would ask reassuring questions and say negative thoughts that came into my head (ik i'm annoying). A few days ago, my bf and i were arguing and ik i started it cause i was in this bad mood cause i thought he was ignoring me but it turned out he wasn't. and then i kept saying i was sorry and confused and i felt horrible about it, and he was like, okay, it's fine, let's get over it. but i just remember still having negative thoughts and everything i would say was negative or my demeanor seemed like i shut down and everything in the world sucked. and he got upset and said you need to let things go. ik i need help, i just wish i knew why it's difficult for me or why i act like that. i hate the fact that i annoy and upset people with this. i kind of feel weird and it's making me not want to see a therapist again or talk to people about my problems cause i'm scared i'm going to eventually upset them. also, recently i noticed i ask people around me reassuring questions whenever i feel anxious or want to ease my mind of a fear in order to get rid of discomfort of some kind. like, i ask my bf how i look (makeup, hair, clothes wise) a lot. i'll tell him or someone i know about a situation and ask them if i did anything wrong in the situation in order to give myself closure. i want to work on this stuff and but idk what to do. has anyone ever done these things or experienced this? i would like some advice. thanks.

I wondering if your definition may be different than what therapists and psychiatrists define therapy as being...

when i first started seeing a therapist I could not understand why they didnt fix me, why they kept telling me the same things they have told you.

one day I mouthed off at my therapist saying why cant you fix me, thats what therapy is for right, I come here and you fix me.

thats when my therapist put me straight on what therapy was..

she said to me...

therapy isnt where a person goes in to a room and sits with a therapist for 40-60 minutes and walks out the door cured\fixed.

the only person that can fix you is you. you fix your self by coming in and talking with me about your problems, then together we talk about things.......You.....can do to fix your problems your self.

then you go home and try to do those things we talk about. then you come back and tell me what happened when you tried what we talked about. then we talk about that.

for every problem you have thats the process of therapy.

I asked her ....what if I dont want to do what we talk about doing.

she told me that was my choice and by choosing not to try \do what we talk about I am choosing not to get better, I am choosing to have the same problems over and over again. she was a therapist not my friend so if I was choosing not to do things that we talk about that can help me then she has no choice but to stop seeing me so that she can see other people with problems that do want to fix their problems.

I was royally mad when she told me that. I mean what good is going to a therapist if they were not going to fix me, that I had to be the one to fix me by doing the things we talked about in therapy.

but you know what...it worked. I started going to therapy, talking about my problems and trying the things we talked about in therapy and my problems got better.

my suggestion is if you want to get better then give your therapists a chance and try to do the things they want you to try. who knows at the very least they will see you trying to fix your problems so that you may be able to get to feeling better about your self and your life, so they might not terminate sessions with you so often.

I have issues with obsessing. Medication and CBT has helped greatly with both lessening and coping the issue.

[BipolarMama31]

Maybe it was the type of therapy you were doing?

Ive had zero success with talk therapy and CBT. But DBT has made huge changes in my life.
But i do agree with another post you have to want the change.
I did a few months of 16 hours a week DBT in 2012 and didnt practice any of it.
Now, im in it again 3 hours a week and im working hard on what im taught.

Just my thoughts.

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My therapist didn't do a darn thing...

Maybe you just think you are annoying when you're not.