Getting rid of toxic friend

I have had this friend for close to 30 years now. She is fun, outgoing, and really one of the only friends I have had. But she is toxic!

It is all about her! She only asks me to go out with her if there is something in it for HER! She wants me to go to a bar with her in a few days. Why? because there is guy there she wants to go have sex with that night.
Every time I ask her to do something she either doesn't text me back, or makes some excuse. If I want to go somewhere that a guy I like is at too bad. She will not go. She is my only friend AND SHE KNOWS IT!! so she does this on purpose.

She has a string of men at all times (including when she was married), she texts people all day long planning for god knows what.

She has other friends but only does NORMAL things with them, like go out to eat, etc (THEY DON'T KNOW HER OTHER SIDE!). But with me she only tries to drag me along and go places where guys will be at. I am the only one that puts up with it! I few years back I lost my temper and yelled at her, blocked her, but eventually we were friends again.

I do not want to meet her in a few days. I have no interest in going to that bar but I feel like if I don't then I will have no one when I need someone.

She has always been very promiscuous, lies to get what she wants, acts super friendly to get what she wants and gets jealous easily. And is always talking about sex and what and who she did. Some of the guys are regulars and know what she is like. Others she acts all innocent around and they have no idea that she is sleeping with all these men. they would get rid of her if they knew.

Sounds like you need a huge stress break - I read your other post and hope you feel better.

Focus on you right now. Let calls go to voicemail or say you aren't socializing ATM.

Make yourself priority and you can deal with the friend later. Good luck.

This friend wants me to go out with her this weekend to a place I have no interst in going. She will try to make it sound so fun. She will say there will hot guys there and I know there will not. She only wants to go to this place because a guy will be there that will take her home after the bar closes! She would NEVER be at this bar to begin with if HE was not there!

So I ask her to go somewhere with me next week and she says she wants to but doesn't have any money! She is sooo lying. she makes three times as much as I do! She just doesn't want to go because she thinks there is nothing in it for her. Is there anything in it for me this weekend with her? NO.

She is very manipulative and ALWAYS get what and who she wants, such as men! But if you do anything to her back she will make a way to make you feel guilty.

What kind of person is this? Does she have a personality disorder?
Should I get rid of her, even though she is really my only so called friend??

I don't know. I'm toxic and people get rid of me.

You are smart enough to figure out her game plan. She will never change. Lose this person even if you have no one left.

This is a tough one...as you have known her for so long. Unfortunately, we do teach others how to treat us if we stay silent. By stating your position you give her a choice to smarten up or ship out....But on the flip side you also empower yourself and gain more self esteem...Thus attracting the right kind of friends. Stand up for yourself and let her know how you feel...you never know, maybe she is unaware that she treats you this way as it has become habit...If not, there are many others out there who would appreciate a real friend like you.

Be kind to yourself ffijiisland

Oh, she damn well knows she treats me like that! I am just so mad right now every time I think of her and what she does!
Thank you for your good advice!

I had to ditch a friend last year. I knew her 36 years. It's been a year and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. I think of the good times years and years back but that's as far as it goes.

I just told her I don't feel like going out with her now. And she keeps texting me. She knows what she is doing. If I don't respond she will ask me questions about my life- will ask if I have seen a certain guy lately. Will ask about my kids. I'm surprised she hasn't actually started calling yet.
I want to block her. But it will get to the point if I do she will start calling the home phone leaving these lengthy messages (kids will hear). its as if I feel like I am being blackmailed. Then it could get to point where she will make it seem like I need help. Then may even say "well, who else are you going to go out with?'

She will manipulate and do whatever. then she flat out lied to me again. I KNOW when she lies.

Hi there,

Wow, sounds like a frustrating situation. She probably has no idea how selfish she is and she is perhaps rather emotionally immature to be like this with you, maybe try to bear in mind that the normal "give and take" in a friendship is something she doesn't understand? So try not to take it personally. Before taking drastic action and ending your friendship maybe consider writing her a letter explaining how you feel. If she is a true friend she will want to work things out. Hope things work out for you.