[loverofcreation]

I made him up when I was 2 or 3. Maybe even younger. I've always felt as if he was a real person and his ghost possesses me. I want to look like him (he wasn't attractive), dress like him, and do the things he did...he was a nerdy guy who got killed when he was 30. His persona is set in the 1910's. Sometimes I get daydreams of his life and the town he lived in, and I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

From a young age I'd identify as him and my parents were freaked out about this. I'd have dreams and even false memories of being him as well. Sometimes I cry over his death as if he were a friend who died. When he does appear in dreams, it wakes me up for some reason. The first time I dreamt of him I was 1 or 2, I was dreaming of random kiddy things, then suddenly the dream went from that to that 1910's town and a close up of him, he smiled but had weird eyes as if he was hyperthyroid or something so it was a little frightening - his eyes were also magnified under his glasses. I woke up after that sweating.

When I was younger I'd sometimes wake up to 'see' his wife lying on the other side of my bed when I woke up. She was clothed each time, in a dress, and she had black hair. She vanished a second or so later.

I have no idea why I either feel like this guy or want to be him. I feel lost, like I don't belong. I don't recognize my face, voice or my body.

[Thunder Bow]

This guy is mirroring your perceptions of yourself. You are seeing your minds image of how you see yourself.

[TishaBuv]

Interesting post. If you want to talk about it more, Could he have started because as a toddler you watched something on TV that gave you the idea?

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe you are a reincarnation.

[loverofcreation]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Maybe you are a reincarnation.

Ah, I thought that too at one point, and perhaps made a thread on if anyone in history could fit the character.

I was ridiculed however so I dropped the subject entirely. If reincarnation is real, why doesn't everyone reincarnate? There's a lot of problems with reincarnation, in my opinion.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Maybe you are a reincarnation.

I second this. You might be seeing things/identifying yourself as a person from a past life. I would consult a therapist about this, as well as looking into past life regression therapy.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck in your endeavors.

Dissociation?

[loverofcreation]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

I second this. You might be seeing things/identifying yourself as a person from a past life. I would consult a therapist about this, as well as looking into past life regression therapy.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck in your endeavors.

I went on a forum believing in past lives trying to find a person who matched my character, but I was ridiculed and called a troll so I forced myself to not believe in past lives or anything paranormal...

[TishaBuv]

That's why I asked you how you think you got the idea of this guy in the first place? I was very affected by a lot of things I saw on TV at a very young age, like maybe 5. I really can't remember much from 2-3 years old. If this fictional character has been 'with you' your whole life, you have to have given it a lot of thought.

If you aren't trolling...let's talk about your memories of it from the youngest to how you felt and thought about it throughout your life.

[loverofcreation]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

That's why I asked you how you think you got the idea of this guy in the first place? I was very affected by a lot of things I saw on TV at a very young age, like maybe 5. I really can't remember much from 2-3 years old. If this fictional character has been 'with you' your whole life, you have to have given it a lot of thought.

If you aren't trolling...let's talk about your memories of it from the youngest to how you felt and thought about it throughout your life.

I didn't get to watch TV until I was about 6 years old, and my parents supervised what I was watching..

I have dealt with an assortment of memories since I was a very small child, that at the time did not disturb me, although they disturbed my parents when I gave implications or told them.

I recall being born, also. I was able to describe the mid wife or doctor, to which I was perplexed, given that infants typically do not open their eyes until around the age of 4 weeks old. My mother, however, confirmed my details regarding the doctor as well as the fact that my eyes were open with a surprised expression. I was a very precocious child, and I reportedly began to speak in coherent sentences as young as 10 months of age.

Before the memory of being born, I have a very traumatic memory of being hanging from a tree. The tree was enormous and with a flattened bottom. My head ended up being yanked upwards. I could not see anything while I was actually struggling and I got the impression that I had something placed over my eyes - the drop was short, like that of an elevator moving downwards suddenly, and my neck did not break immediately.

Incidentally, I have a birthmark that resembles a burn or graze wound towards the rear of my neck, or just above my hairline. It is tender to the touch and I am phobic of anything applying the faintest pressure towards my neck region.

I was told, that as soon as I could draw, it would be of cartoon figures that were fairly simplistic. Sometimes, however, I would spontaneously draw 'detailed mechanical objects' - typically vehicles, such as cars or airplanes. I would also try and piece random things together to build cars or planes.

I would also speak of a 'sweetie', a metaphor for my wife, as well as a sister named Mary Ann. When I was around three or four years old, I grew attached to a small white blanket, that I called 'sweetie'. When my parents inquired as to why I called 'her' that, I told them ''she is my wife and she wears a white dress.'' I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without it. According to my parents, I would apparently dream about her in a more realistic form. I was asked how old she was, to which I replied ''she turns 110 years old soon''. I faintly remember this, and I also remember my father getting freaked out by it.

I would have frequent nightmares, and I cried a great deal as both a baby and a toddler. I had issues sleeping unless it was with my mother as I was frightened that I would be taken away while I slept.

There are more generalized, less specific memories, such as memories of what the town I resided in looked like, as well as memories of a dark-bricked factory with four stories that had bright writing towards the side. When I looked towards that memory, however, I felt a bad feeling, but I wasn't quite sure why. I began to get that feeling whenever I saw similar old industrial buildings.



But he was just a fictional character, though...

[TishaBuv]

How old are you now? Have you discussed this a lot with your parents? Have you all been thinking you might have some extra sensory thing really happening?

I've had a couple of strange coincidences and feelings that are kind of 'ghosty' in my life, but nothing as consistent as you are describing.

What do you think is really going on with you?

[loverofcreation]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

How old are you now? Have you discussed this a lot with your parents? Have you all been thinking you might have some extra sensory thing really happening?

I've had a couple of strange coincidences and feelings that are kind of 'ghosty' in my life, but nothing as consistent as you are describing.

What do you think is really going on with you?

I'm nearly 21. No I haven't, I feel they'll think I'm mad.

And even I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know why I feel I'm not myself and feel like I lived the life of some fictional character.

I think you should see a psych to check in with them.

[*Laurie*]

No one can know without any doubt what exactly is going on with you. I believe it is very possible that you are experiencing a past life memory. It is also possible that there are parallel lives. Then again, the man could be someone you saw on TV or in a movie at some point in your young life. And perhaps the character is an 'imaginary friend' you created...then too, he could be part of a psychosis.

The greatest doctor in the world can't tell you for sure. What concerns me is that you don't feel like you are living your own life. That seems awfully sad to me...regardless of what's 'really' going on, you deserve to be living your life as the man you are. It is for that reason that I suggest you talk with a mental health professional...start there and see where it takes you. Best of luck!