[aarya10]

I've been out of town for a long time and haven't seen my therapist and they haven't tried contacting me either.

Recently I send her an update on my life and how things have been going for me. Her reply was literally what I said, paraphrased.

Me: "I am upset about my dog dying"
Therapist: "It sounds as if you are upset about your dog's death"

That's just an example, I don't have a dog. But I don't know. I literally have no one to vent to about my problems. Is this how a therapist is supposed to respond? I don't see the point?

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

It sounds like a poor execution of one of the steps of motivational interviewing.

[LucyG]

Yes, that's how I see therapists responding--they parrot back to you what you said more or less.

I think a lot of people think their therapist is their best friend when it's really a business relationship more or less where you're paying someone to listen to you, and give you feedback. While I certainly think they're concerned about their patients, I think it's wrong to assume there's more to the relationship than their is. When I was one meds and seeing a Pdoc, I was always aware that I was basically paying her to give me a prescription and listen to any problem I might feel like discussing.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by aarya10

I've been out of town for a long time and haven't seen my therapist and they haven't tried contacting me either.

Recently I send her an update on my life and how things have been going for me. Her reply was literally what I said, paraphrased.

Me: "I am upset about my dog dying"
Therapist: "It sounds as if you are upset about your dog's death"

That's just an example, I don't have a dog. But I don't know. I literally have no one to vent to about my problems. Is this how a therapist is supposed to respond? I don't see the point?

yes this is how therapists respond. in general its called acknowledging and validating, letting the client take the lead.

there are many kinds of therapy and many kinds of therapists. some people find it helpful when a therapist notices and validates their feelings and just listen, other people like more from their therapists.

my suggestion is let the therapist know what you are looking for when you send them an update on your life. what do you want from them and what you want to change or accomplish in your life by being in contact with them. this way if you want more than acknowledging and validation of your feelings the therapist will know.

[possum220]

A therapist isn't a friend in the normal sense of the word. You can't just pop in on them. You wont catch up for a coffee or go and see a movie with them. They have their own lives to get on with. You are paying them for their time. Normally they will not be the ones to initiate contact.

Some therapists may use the technique of turning your words around. Personally I would find that very annoying and distracting. You don't need to stick with the same therapist. Maybe time to see another one if you still have issues that you need help with.

[Thunder Bow]

I will be up to you to take your issues beyond the parrot response given to you. Just get to the point, to bypass such responses.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by aarya10

I literally have no one to vent to about my problems. Is this how a therapist is supposed to respond? I don't see the point?

I did most of my therapy in 12 step support groups where I had a lot of support and feed back plus some wonderful friendships but had very little help from any therapist I went to and even some rude and abusive encounters with "therapists". IMO, any support group is better than a MUTE and STUPID therapist plus, the group gave me useful feedback about my issues in the form of sharing strength and hope from the other members. I went to a LOT of support groups back then. I'm so glad that I never became the victim of a bad therapist!

[kecanoe]

In my experience, therapists don't say much in emails. If you like the therapist, you might want to make an appointment and see her face to face.

It would be unusual for a therapist to initiate contact with a client that has stopped coming. It is considered unethical because it might be done in an effort to get the client back to make more money. Not saying that I agree with this position, but it is definitely something many therapists are taught. So I wouldn't take that personally.

I guess what it boils down to is 1) is she a good therapist in person and 2) do you want to have her as a therapist. If both are yes, then I would make an appointment.

In what manner did you forward your note to the therapist. Do they get paid for the time they take to respond? It is difficult for anyone to provide therapy without seeing the individual in person. It seems not unusual (this was just dicussed at my support group) for a therapist or psychiatrist to respond back with no more than a confirmation of what you say indicating they have understanding. This may sound like a regurgitation of your original note. Finally, has the therapist indicated that the manner in which you submitted your note is acceptable beforehand (ie. my pdoc won't accept anything out of the office).

I am sure your 'in person' experience would go much more to expectations.