[harmfulleh]

Ever since he was a kid he was solitary and at kindergarten he had one or two panic attacks (I remember my mother said he was yelling something like 'I am not [his name]', I'M NOT [his name]!!) but that could be just a stage of growing up maybe?
He never made friends later and the few he had he quarrelled with them and never saw them again. During middle and high school he never had any friends and never had a relationship, he decided to go to a military school (I'm pretty sure, just to follow my father's journey) and he wasn't not even a bit sociable there. He has been with a prostitute at the age of 18 because he couldn't find a person (my father helped him finding the prostitute), now he's 25 and didn't make any friend yet.. he works but he hates his job (the same as my father's)..
When he talks about himself he constantly act like a martyr and blame my parents or others for anything that happens to him (sometimes it may be true, but not always as he says, obviously)..
I was reading about autism, sociopathy and psychopathy and I'm sure he fits in one of the descriptions of those disorders :\ or probably my father's a psychopath controlling him :|

[MickeyCheeky]

To be sure, he should get a proper diagnosis.. but I'm guessing your father isn't going to allow it :/

I'm sorry

[harmfulleh]

he's indipendent but not emotionally.. my father has no power on him and he's already been seeing a therapist, but I don't wanna talk to him and I don't ask questions about him, this is more of a thing I asked because I feel like I've been wrongly trying to understand him for a long time and I shouldn't have done that. Right now in fact I don't care anymore

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by harmfulleh

he's indipendent but not emotionally.. my father has no power on him and he's already been seeing a therapist, but I don't wanna talk to him and I don't ask questions about him, this is more of a thing I asked because I feel like I've been wrongly trying to understand him for a long time and I shouldn't have done that. Right now in fact I don't care anymore

Hi,

Right now in fact I don't care

It is the best response to your brothers situation! He is running his own affairs! It would be OK to help him if he were to ask for help or advice. Unsollicited advice is interferrance in his life.

Maybe he is on the autism spectrum, but high functioning. Can you talk to him normally, like ask him about his job/military training? Does he engage in these conversations? I think many people blame others. We all do it from time to time, but it's not healthy if happens all the time.

none of what you have said sparks even a hint of sociopathy to me. However, the idea of Aspergers comes to mind. It could be too that he is just a normal but reclusive individual.

I think instead of trying to label him that you might demonstrate to him that you accept him for who he is.

[harmfulleh]

I feel the urge to label him/attack him because he acts like he can complain about all the things in the world, come in this house and shout like a maniac and expects no consequences. Pardon, but I wanted to beat the **** out of him when he did that and I didn't.

When I talked with him about his job he was complaining about his colleagues treating him bad because they noticed his solitary attitude and probably tried to start a conversation with him making a joke, things like that..

Hmmm, the thought just came to my mind as to what his current circumstances are then. I take it that he lives at home still. Why? What responsibilities does he have (he should be paying rent). What expectations are placed upon him?

Is his behaviour a pattern? Has he been held accountable for his behaviour or has it been ignored and left undealt with since his youth? Has he been inadvertently enabled? This may not be a case then of a mental health issue at all.

The solution I believe is to get him out on his own. What is preventing him from doing so? If not, what needs to happen then is a laying down of the house rules and expectations - and consequences established for failing to meet them.

[harmfulleh]

Sorry I forgot to mention, he works in a distant city and in that situation he came home for a day.. he doesn't have his own house since he lives in a lodging room at work. Surely it was a pattern that has been ignored, even tho he didn't (for example) shout like that before but held everything within..
It's a thing we have in common, we both used to repress anger even if I managed that better.. I don't know why, I probably considered it a 'civil way' to react to others (in adolescence? sounds like I need one), and maybe he did that too..

I apologize I made inaccurate assumptions. I stand behind however my query about his behaviour having been enabled. I appreciate the difficulty you are going through regarding his irritating and inappropriate behaviour but this does not sound like a mental health issue to me. It seems behavioural which would be a learned situation as opposed to a lack of control owing to illness. Again, I recommend that expectations be set - in stone - regarding his behaviour when he comes home. Make it clear that you and the rest of the family won't stand for his outburst. Observe his reaction however. If he were to react with a surprise and complete lack of understanding regarding his actions, responsibilities, and consequences then that just might indicate a deeper problem.

For example. My step-son is as sociopath. He could not link cause and effect regarding his actions or his responsibility for them. A common reaction from him when being spoken too about some transgression was to ball up his fists and with a clueless expression demand to know why he was getting in trouble. He could not link his behaviour - ie. theft or violence - with resulting discipline.

If your brother behaves similarly then that definitely would be a problem.

[harmfulleh]

probably I am more similiar to a sociopath. Well I don't know, I just hope I'll keep my own spaces