[goldeagle22]

First off, I apologize if this is in the wrong thread. I looked over the others and had no idea where mine fit in. If the administrator knows where this post would fit better I appreciate your help.

Hello, I have a very odd issue and I don't understand it at all. So, I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 months and she is a wonderful, amazing person. One thing that's a bit odd tho is that she loves cats, and I mean LOVES them. I'm much more of a dog person, but because I admire her I decide "what the heck? I'll try to be more of a cat person. So, whenever I see a cat I'll pet it or feed it or whatever. However, I noticed an issue. After I spend some time with a cat, I have this overwhelming urge to abuse them or kill them. Especially if they won't allow me to pick them up. This really frightens me because I'm not a violent person at all, I'm actually quite the opposite. It's just whenever I spend some time with cats, I constantly want to cause them harm. Please help me. I understand this is an odd question, but i haven't been able to find an answer online or anywhere. Keep in mind I don't have thoughts or urges like this about anyone or anything else, only cats.

[pegasus]

This is not a normal thought and you need to seek help for this issue as soon as possible. Please talk to your doctor.

Well honestly I think the best thing to do is to just stay away from cats as much as possible so you don't get the urge. But that would be hard to do especially if your girlfriend has so many.

There is no known mental illness that fits what your describing that I know of. Are you able to control your urges? And as far as 'self-help' goes I think you should try and explore why you feel like you need to harm cats. What do you feel when your around them? How do you feel about the cat? Does anything trigger the need apart from seeing a cat? And how do you imagine feeling if you actually harmed the cat? Try and put these pieces together…

But if you ever do seriously harm a cat, it's something you can never take back. You will regret it very much I'm sure and it will mess with your self identity of who you are as a person. If you consider yourself a decent human being.

If therapy is not an option try and find ways to distract yourself when your around cats and try and relax your mind when you feel the impulse to hurt them.

[Skeezyks]

Hello goldeagle: Thanks for sharing your concern here on PC. Honestly, I don't know what is causing this. It does seem unusual that it would only be cats that engender this urge in you. But, you know, we all have these sorts of intrusive ideas that come to mind. So, while the fact that yours are mainly a reaction to cats may be unique, the fact that you're having intrusive thoughts is not. Actually, California therapist Kati Morton has a video on her YouTube channel where she discusses "Pure O" (OCD). And on that video, she talks about intrusive thoughts such as these. Here's a link to that video:

As Pegasus wrote, it may be beneficial to seek some professional help with what you are experiencing. In addition though, there is a self-help sort-of technique you might try. It is referred to as "compassionate abiding". Here's a link to a description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Frankbtl]

Hi goldeagle

First of all I'd like you to stay as far as possible away from cats until you have a bit more of a handle on this and know that you can be safely around them.

And.........I may be wrong but......unless there's some sort of experience from your childhood directly around cats........I'm seeing this as linked into your feelings around your girlfriend and your feelings around yourself...........maybe you're putting her on a pedestal and seeing yourself as less worthy from how you describe her.........and your emphasis on LOVES cats........perhaps you feel a little resentful around how much she can LOVE something that to you is kind of just an "animal"/nothing that special???
And maybe you don't feel that she shows as much LOVE towards you, or that you have to work harder for it..........perhaps making you feel even less worthy and those negative feelings about yourself just direct themselves at the focus.......the cats???
I don't know..........these are just thoughts........but.......???
Could even be something about the cats nature...........e.g. self sufficient etc.........that brings out feelings of how you felt or were treated in the past, or restrictions or expectations you felt were placed on you???

So perhaps try to work a bit more on the roots of the issue and that might give you a way ahead because I wouldn't say it was anything about cats per se.........perhaps writing down your feelings from the times of being around cats could help..........and then digging deeper into those feelings??

But finally goldeagle..........welcome to PC!!!!
And hoping you can find the support you need/want with anything on here!!

Alison

[Quarter life]

The desire or compulsion to hurt animals is something that needs addressing ...please speak to your GP about a referral to a mental health professional.

[Thunder Bow]

Could relate to envy, she pays more attention to them than you. Harming animals usually relates to self hate.

[IowaFarmGal]

I had a boyfriend that abused my cat once. I believe a man that would abuse his girlfriends pet would also abuse her and her children. Do you have any jealousy issues with her? He got a really ugly look on his face and did it for no reason at all. Are you phobic about cats? You should talk to a counselor about this.

Please seek help.

[VernonJenkins]

Like others have told you, please seek help.