[Mapper]

SD turns 20 next month and she put a post on Facebook yesterday saying "In a civil union" but not with who. Umm, okay?? I do realize kids put all kinds of crap on Facebook. About 2 months ago she posted "In a relationship" but didn't say with who, and actually about 5 months ago she posted she was married to this guy and then when people start going "What?" she goes "Oh it's just a joke between us".

However, this time it's kind of odd. My husband replied with "Whaaaa??" and her grandma replied with "???" SD replies with "It's temp. Don't freak out yo, just call me jeez" and then adds "Did y'all see the coping mechanism post I put up?" It's temp??? What does that mean? She's never shown an interest in the same sex before and has dated a bunch of guys and was saying when we saw her last month that maybe she'd meet a nice boy at the concert that night. But her saying to not freak out and call her must mean there's something to it. But it's only temporary???

She posted that she was in a civil union last night around 6PM, but then replied with the whole "It's temp, just call me yo" at apparently 3 or 4AM this morning, which is an odd time. Who knows what her state of mind was because I know she drinks and smokes pot. But then adds "Did you see the coping mechanism post I put up?" which I don't know what that has to do with anything. It was just a list of things to do to cope with stuff, but I didn't see anything about posting that you're in a same sex union...at 19!!

D

[Sunflower123]

It's kind of confusing. I hope you get this resolved when her father calls her. Best wishes.

[Mapper]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

It's kind of confusing. I hope you get this resolved when her father calls her. Best wishes.

I doubt her father will call her. If anything he may ask her in a private message on Facebook, but they don't talk much on the phone and he really doesn't know a lot about what is going on in her life.

[Shazerac]

ah odd Facebook posts by daughter. I so sympathize with you. I don't know what to tell you...I really wish I did. I never know what kind of bizzare nonsense my daughter is going to post. Mine could be manic, on drugs, in or out of a desctructive relationship, etc.

[amandalouise]

here where I live temp is the new teen age young adult version of saying .... its cool, everything is ok, everything is fine, dont worry I know what I am doing.

as for the ever changing facebook status for relationships I dont know about where you are but here in NYC its taught in elementary, jr high and high school and colleges to be cryptic, make frequent changes and to sometimes lie on things like whether you are in a relationship. think of it like when you go to work and you have someone constantly asking you to spend time with them what some people do is sometimes they say sorry Im busy with no further explaination, sorry I have a date, or my boyfriend or girlfriend and I are going to .... doesnt always mean its true and doesnt always answer questions for other people but it also stems off unwanted persons.

my suggestion since the step daughter is over 18, to let her run her facebook in what ever ways that she wants to. Just like she probably doesnt tell you what you can and cant post on your facebook and you may not like it when she questions why you posted this or that... in short theres a time to hold on to our children and theres a time for letting them live their own lives. facebooking is one of those times to let go if the child is over 18 and capable of having her own facebook account.

another suggestion if reading her face book continues to be a trigger for you, facebook does have a way so that you dont see her profile and posts unless you choose to find it. its called unfolllow. this will allow you to be on her "friends" list but at the same time not see every post and changes she makes to her own page, unless you purposely go to her profile and page.

[*Laurie*]

If I were you, I wouldn't take Fb posts too seriously.

[Mapper]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

If I were you, I wouldn't take Fb posts too seriously.

Yeah I know, but this one seems different with her saying it's temporary and to call her. Then it just dawned on me that she asked if we had seen the coping mechanism post because she wants us to cope with what she's doing and has nothing to do with her.

[Thunder Bow]

Looks like she is trying to manipulate you on FB. Do not take the bait.

[Sassandclass]

Seems like she's trying to make a statement on fb. If she didn't want you guys to take it too seriously, then she went about it the wrong way

[Mapper]

Okay I got the scoop on what is going on. So H comes to bed at about 1AM this morning. He doesn't say anything for a while and then I get up and go to the bathroom and then he starts telling me. First he tells me that SD had called him and left a message at 3:30 yesterday morning which is about the time when she sent the Facebook message "It's just temp, don't freak out just call me jeez". So apparently she decided to call at 3:30 AM??? She was probably high as H even said that seems seems to be smoking a lot of pot for her age, even though he smoked as much at her age and that the 1/2 hour conversation was very disjointed. Then he decided to call her last night at almost midnight. She proceeds to tell him that she was in a relationship with a younger guy, H didn't ask but assumes he was 17 for whatever reason, and the guy got jealous that SD had guys she was texting and she said they were just friends, yadda yadda so he ended up breaking up with her. So this must have been the guy she said "In a relationship" with on Facebook 2 months ago. Obviously didn't last long. Then this guy from 5 months ago where she posted "Married" to and then just said it was all a joke between them is apparently now the guy she's in a "civil union" with. She tells H that this guy has cancer or something and will only live another 3 years and she promised she'd marry him before he dies. Whaaat?! So I look up civil union in WA state and yes there is opposite sex civil union, but one of the couple has to be 62 years old, which obviously isn't the case! You also have to live together, which also isn't the case. So I have no idea WHAT this is all about.

That girl is so drama filled! She tells H that she's broken. No you're just an extremely drama filled teenager. She's always saying she keeps getting crapped on by guys, but is just like her mother and always has to find a guy to be with. Oh and then she isn't sure what she wants to do regarding school (if she's even going). She couldn't handle nursing so now wants to be a dermatologist. Then she also told him that maybe she wants to do a trade and when he asked her what trade she said farming!

[*Laurie*]

I'd be a lot more concerned about the amount of pot she's smoking than about what she posts on Fb.

[winter loneliness]

^ And I wouldn't be overly concerned about either. Her behavior is semi- typical for a young adult.

They grow and mature at different rates.