[BlueJeans00]

Whats a normal progress of having termination in psychotherapy after having a year of therapy?

Im just asking cause my psychothearpist just told me
Last week that our last session is this week. I wasn't even told in advance that it be our last session next week.
I was told since beginning of therapy and this year that
I could go with them, because they told me they going to pirvate practice.
They even told me there superadvisor agree I should go with them and that they give me discount.

Suddnely last week was completely a flip and slap on the face. I did wondered if they made the next week session last because they got upset with the letter I wrote, from what they've said to me in the past year that was really upsetting for me.
My keyworker read it and then gave it to my psychotheaprist. So that session they brought the letter and told me "we've already spoken about this" and didn't spoke about the letter accept they did mention they didn't mean to make me feel ashamed or guitly and that was it. It was a big letter too and I put my heart and soul writting that letter. It took two days to write it with deep thought.
After session I ended up crying all the way home driving and I self harm myself more than once.

So to have this happen to me. Is really extremely upsetting.

[nicoleflynn]

Whaat!!?? THe client is the one who determines/decides when to leave...NEVER the therapist. I am so sorry.

[Perna]

It does sound a bit abrupt. What does your key worker say? There is probably a plan of some sort for moving forward and, for some reason, it's not practical to go with these same people to their new place, hard to tell with health insurance and agencies in general, how things might shift at the last minute. I would tell your key worker how upset you are and ask what is going on. It sounds, from how disappointed you were in the response to your letter, that maybe a change would be good anyway; that you didn't feel you were getting what you wanted from these particular people.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by BlueJeans00

Whats a normal progress of having termination in psychotherapy after having a year of therapy?

Im just asking cause my psychothearpist just told me
Last week that our last session is this week. I wasn't even told in advance that it be our last session next week.
I was told since beginning of therapy and this year that
I could go with them, because they told me they going to pirvate practice.
They even told me there superadvisor agree I should go with them and that they give me discount.

Suddnely last week was completely a flip and slap on the face. I did wondered if they made the next week session last because they got upset with the letter I wrote, from what they've said to me in the past year that was really upsetting for me.
My keyworker read it and then gave it to my psychotheaprist. So that session they brought the letter and told me "we've already spoken about this" and didn't spoke about the letter accept they did mention they didn't mean to make me feel ashamed or guitly and that was it. It was a big letter too and I put my heart and soul writting that letter. It took two days to write it with deep thought.
After session I ended up crying all the way home driving and I self harm myself more than once.

So to have this happen to me. Is really extremely upsetting.

there is no right or wrong way to terminate for a therapist and client. here where I am treatment providers can terminate with cause or without cause, with advance notice and without advance notice.

here where I am a treatment provider telling someone that next week is their last session together is legal and ethical...this is called giving a weeks notice.

heres how I think if it... business deal deals have their own way of doing things including hiring, firing and terminations of any kind....

business deals like working a job, renting an apartment, or any other business deal where I am paying someone for a service including doctors, there is standard practices in the paperwork that state how much notice must be given. sometimes its 30 day notice, sometimes its 14 day notice, sometimes its 7 day notice and sometimes its 5 day notice and sometimes its with in a 24 hour window.

my treatment provider is in a business deal with me, they are not my friends and family. they are doing a job, providing me with a service that I pay for or my insurance pays for.

one of the many reasons why my own treatment provider can come into my therapy sessions and say next week is my last session is the insurance plan has a limit on how many sessions they will pay for.. most times thats one year or 52 sessions in a year. If I schedule more than that the insurance will not pay for it so either I pay out of pocket or I cant see my therapist.

another reason my treatment providers in the past have given only one weeks notice to me was their needing to take a break from the business due to their own problems.

there are many reasons why someone is given only one weeks notice that they are no longer going to be able to see that therapist anymore.

my suggestion is at your next session ask the treatment provider why they cant be your therapist any more and why they did not give you more than a weeks notice. you may find that there is a reason.

another suggestion if you feel this is not right for your therapist to do contact their supervisor or your locations ethics board for treatment providers. they will review the case, schedule a "hearing" where you will have to put in writing your side of the situation and maybe attend an ethics board hearing where you and your treatment provider give legal testimony on what happened and they decide whether the treatment provider did anything wrong by only giving you a weeks notice given the circumstances.

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Whaat!!?? THe client is the one who determines/decides when to leave...NEVER the therapist. I am so sorry.

I disagree:

(1) My CBT was for a set duration after which I was told I would/could receive additional counselling for a period determined by the psychiatrist.
(2) I had a counsellor inform me she had done what she could do, that I had improved to a point she felt she could no longer help me.
(3) I participated in a Bipolar group and was informed I was 'graduating' from the program.

In none of these situations did I have any input or control over. I was simply informed 'it is time'.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by Perna

It does sound a bit abrupt. What does your key worker say? There is probably a plan of some sort for moving forward and, for some reason, it's not practical to go with these same people to their new place, hard to tell with health insurance and agencies in general, how things might shift at the last minute. I would tell your key worker how upset you are and ask what is going on. It sounds, from how disappointed you were in the response to your letter, that maybe a change would be good anyway; that you didn't feel you were getting what you wanted from these particular people.

My.keyworker being very non baises (I think thats how you spell the word )
All I know is that my keyworker didn't know that next week was my last session and that they said usually you get told in advance.

They went really quite when I told them the psychotheaprist told me I could go with them and they give me discount and that there superadvisor agreed me to go with them.
But they didnt say anything though.

[amandalouise]

I just noticed something in your posts.... you use the term keyworker, but your profile says you are located here in america...

american mental health system does not use the term "keyworker" when I googled the word I discovered this is london/ UK version of the american mental health case manager.

here in america a case manager makes sure that all the persons treatment providers are on the same page...

example I have many mental and physical health issues. my case manager is like the boss, she makes sure that none of my treatment plans goes against / conflicts with each other, making sure my therapist is working the same mental health treatment plan as my psychiatrist, making sure that my psychiatrist is working the same mental health plans as my therapist. checking in with me to make sure I am working on my treatment plans and completing my therapy goals/ therapy plans. spending time with me making my therapy goals/ treatment plans.

my point is here a case manager does not get pulled into the middle of a three way fight about whether the therapist is terminating wrong or has done anything wrong or if the psychiatrist is terminating wrong. which is why now Im not surprised they set the letter aside saying you and they have already discussed that you are not happy with your treatment team and what they told you.

all three of my treatment providers work together on the same plans, they have meetings ....before.... each session with me to discuss my progress, what my goals are, what other treatment options they would like me to consider... everything is done as a team with full agreement of everyone on the team.

my point now I understand what is going on in your posts. your therapist was the one on your mental health team of treatment providers who had the unlucky-ness of being the one to tell you what has been decided by all....when your last session was going to be.

now you are wondering if this action is because of a letter you had written questioning or upset about what they have done with and for you for the past year.

my opinion is that yes it could be a factor in this.

I know if I wrote a letter putting down everything my treatment team has done/ said for and with me this past year they too would be like...well obviously this person doesnt want our help. this person is just throwing away a year of our time and effort to help them, lets give them what they seem to want... an out. we will have our last session and then they will be free to seek treatment elsewhere, somewhere they feel is better suited for them.

bottom line from what I see in your posts is you gave them a letter saying you were not happy with them for this past year. these problems in the letter you and your treatment team have already discussed before. so maybe they feel theres nothing more that they can do for you other than terminating and letting you find a better fitting treatment team somewhere else.

when you think about it if I had someone in my circle of friends and family that were telling me they were not happy with me for the past year I would say to them ok time for you to go your way and I'll go mine, I will miss you my friend but if your not happy Im not going to force you to stay in this friendship.

well it works the same way for being in therapy, if I wasnt happy with my treatment providers I would let them know and they would also give me the same option, ...ok we cant seem to work this out so its time for you to go on your way, give me my termination date so that I can move on to someone else as my treatment provider.

my suggestion is if you still want to stay with this treatment team to sit down and work with them during your next session on ways that you and they can get past this past year of problems you have already discussed with them before you wrote the letter, or closure so that you can move on to a treatment team that you feel is a better fit for you.

[pegasus]

Oh gosh, I'm really sorry for you. Usually you both work towards termination and gradually taper off the therapy sessions and then end it when you both agree. You and your therapist work together on it and it shouldn't be a surprise. This therapist didnt sound very good for you, I hope you find another, more professional caring therapist.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Oh gosh, I'm really sorry for you. Usually you both work towards termination and gradually taper off the therapy sessions and then end it when you both agree. You and your therapist work together on it and it shouldn't be a surprise. This therapist didnt sound very good for you, I hope you find another, more professional caring therapist.

Thank you.
It feels from him that its my fault.
Though I believe what is happening after doing research and he probably unaware of this.
Is this
Countertransference – when a client triggers the therapist’s issues.

It has been a long established rule of good therapists never to take on a client who will trigger personal issues. The therapist who has been raped may not be able to cope with the raped client. The therapist with children who finds out her client is a paedophile or the client who triggers off mother-issues with the therapist who has not resolved her own childhood. These well-meaning people can sometimes unwittingly do more damage than good if they have not received their own therapy or supervision.

Because they were triggered about me saying to them the things they hurt me and I was about to leave the session and then they told me because they are "asain" they were brought up in a ural town among white kids and was told he was doing things wrong all the time and it affects them today.

Also when ever I say hey I don't think this is working for the past 18 months they just shut off. So there whole body language closes up and no eye contact.
Then you tell them how they've behaved upsetted you or what they said upsettwd you and there get go of a line is "Im only human"
I thought to myself. Well you can say that so many times until you take responsibility of it.

The next thing I feel what is going on is this.
Abandoning the client with abandonment issues.

Most long-term, emotionally volatile clients have rejection, abandonment and anger issues. Myself included. Sometimes therapy can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. In the Freudian theory of repetition-compulsion we are compelled to repeat the past with significant others. We create in the therapy room the same conditions in our outside life. The good therapist should know this, be on the look-out for it and have an action plan to deal with it. The good therapist should not take transference personally. Clients do get angry in therapy and it is up to the therapist to work out who the client is actually angry at. One cannot abandon a client the same way one cannot abandon a newborn baby. Marsha Linehan with her Dialectical Behavioural Therapy has the right approach when she says that the only reason a client gets terminated is if they miss four sessions in a row, other than that the client is always right.

He told me I should get angry at therapy at him and use my time.wisely. well I did that and he didn't like it and took everything personally.
Never.did he say recongise who I was actually angry at.

I believe he cut the therapy short out of his own Countertransference due to the letter I wrote of the things he has said the last 18 months that have upsetted me.

I say this because I have no other explaination for it.

Also I must add that he told me in the last session bringing the letter in that I wrote who I gave to my keyworker. "We already gone through this"
It felt so dismissive. All I wanted was to go through the letter together step by step and cleaf it all up.

[pegasus]

Yes I agree with you from what you have written here. You have good insight and knowledge. I hope you find a much better therapist now.