When friend suddenly gets called into work while hanging out

Anyone have an awkward experience where they are hanging out at a friend's house and they get called into work, and you have no ride home so you have to wait until your friend returns from work? I had this experience recently. I was a friend's house and she got called in. She probably didn't have to go in since she had the day off but one of her coworkers decided to not show up that day so she felt obligated to say yes and go in. I don't blame her. I probably would have done the same thing out of fear of getting yelled at. She told me we would continue to hang out once she returns. The only problem was that since I didn't have a ride home, I had to stay at her house for four and a half hours until she returned. I feel like she could have probably just taken me back to the bus stop twenty minutes away from her house before going to work but it probably would have been too inconvenient.

While I waited for her to return, I offered to help her mother put a major puzzle together, almost completing it and then helped put up an artificial Christmas tree and had it nearly complete once my friend returned from work. Me and my friend still hung out afterwards. She must have really wanted to hang out as well since she didn't take me back home right away despite it being super late. I didn't mind, it made good use of some of the time that was lost. I wasn't mad at her, if any thing, annoyed at the person who decided to no-show. I found out recently from my that the coworker that didn't show up had quit without saying anything and got a new job. That resulted in immediate termination. Has anyone been in a situation where you had to wait around at a friends house until they returned from work or even vise versa? If so, what did you do while waiting? How long did you have to wait? Just curious. Despite the awkwardness of being at her house without her, I was glad I was able to be of assistance with helping with a puzzle and a the tree. The mother was very appreciative.

Your friend's terms of service with her employer may have required her to go in. Regardless, I agree that I too would probably have shown up myself. My sense of obligation to my co-workers and workplace is pretty strong and I too fear the consequences of making my employer unhappy. Yes, while reluctant I would have turned up.

However, I would not have left you home. What were the arrangements to begin with? How had you arrived at this friend's place? Had she been expected from the outset to get you home? What alternatives were available (anyone you could have called? Your friend's mother? Taxi cab?). I think that, if it had already been agreed that she would get you home that you ought to have worked together to see that you got home.

Same with me. I would have gone in regardless as well. I would have gone in out of fear of getting yelled at, and most people probably would that. And yeah her house is an hour away from my house and I have to take a T and a bus to get to the bus stop that is 20 minutes away from her house. It is common for me to use public transit to the bus stop and she will pick me up there and then she takes me back home. It was the same deal in this case.

Yeah I feel like she could have mad an attempt to at least get me back to the bus stop but since it would have been going out of her way since her work is only 5 minutes away, she probably could have asked her mom or someone to take me back. Unfortunately there are no transit services close enough tonwhere I could walk to it. She eventually did take me home though after we hung out once she returned. She did apologize for that and even though she technically did eventually get me home, I do feel like it is awkwsrd and slightly weird to leave me at her house for four and a half hours, especially since it makes the other family members feel obligated to interact with me. That’s why I offered to help the mother out. I figured I could be of helpful use while I was there.

A key thing here... did she ask you if you minded staying?

You mentioned the transit stop being 20min away. I assume this is a walk which I figure is a ten minute drive. In my book this is not out of the way. If it was a 20min drive (40min round trip) then I see that this does make a difference. What was wrong with her mother that she could not have driven you to the stop by the way? I certainly would have. Was there someone you could have called to come help you? Again, I would have.

Incidentally, I can call mobile crisis here and they will give me a ride.

It is a 20 minute drive. 40 minutes round trip and in the case of traffic, maybe even longer. She did ask to make sure it was okay for me to stay and they were okay with it but you are right, I don’t know why the mother couldn’t have taken me to the bus stop. Next time I could try using Uber if one is available. And no one else that I know wss not close enough to get me or even been able too.

I suppose it depends on the type of job, but if it's your day off and they ask you to come in, you are in no way obligated to show up. If they yell at you for refusing, then that is wrong on their part.

I am someone who can easily say no, and if I were hanging out with a friend when I received the call, I would have said I was already busy and would not be able to come in. Frankly it comes across as rude, to me, that she chose an optional shift over a friend who was over visiting. My only exception would be if she really needed the money.

Yeah I know. I’m sure she does need the money, just like everyone ele, but yeah she could have said no. I do understand if she did it out of fear since I would have gone out of fear too but yeah I do believe she could have at least said that she was busy and if they desperately needed her than that she would be in but would be a few minutes late or something perhaps. And yeah she works the drive through at a fast food restaurant. So I’m sure someone could have done that until she showed up. Or forced the person that decided to bail to show up anyway.

But yeah, I do agree that it seems rude that she didn’t make more of an effort to see if either someone else could fill in or see if I could get home rather than have me wait at her house for four and a half hours. Ues we did hang out after she got back but still, it kind of makes other people feel obligated to interact with me. Good thing is that it hasn’t happened in the past and recently after that night when we hung out on a day off, she actually made sure she would not be called in at all and would not be available to. So given the circumstance that led her to go in, I didn’t really say much about it and it was a one time thing. But if it ever happened again, I will find a way to get home regardless of how that may be.

She should have offered to drive you to the bus stop. That was rude.

I'm totally comfortable being left alone in good friends houses. Being left with their family would be very awkward I think.

I agree. She has the mindset that it is okay to leave someone at their house with family members. She for some reason believed that they would not care even though I am sure they did care and probably just said it was okay for me to stay out of obligation. At the very least, she could have had someone take me back. I know it was a one time thing, hasn’t happened before either, but yeah hopefully it won’t happen again. Yeah if I was all alone in her house in her own house, no problem. But not with parents. They know me well and I know them well but still, it is awkward.