[Aesthete]

Hi everyone,

I seem to have an issue that has plagued me since childhood and I'm wondering if any of you have dealt with the same. That issue is laughing at emotionally inappropriate times. I haven't laughed at a funeral yet (thank goodness), but I have laughed in threatening situations. When I was thirteen, my mom grabbed me by the throat and shoved me up against the wall. She was red in the face, nostrils flared, and looked like a raging bull. For some reason, it just tickled me and caused me to burst out laughing. I remember feeling very uncomfortable, but I couldn't help but to act as if it was hilarious. It only enraged her more, so it certainly didn't help to alleviate my anxiety at the time.

It's been a long time since that event, but I've noticed that the same thing has happened recently in my relationship. I've had several instances where my boyfriend was being verbally abusive or accusing me of being sneaky and hiding things from him (due to jealousy issues on his part) and I couldn't help but to laugh. Obviously this only made things worse. So not only was I then having to defend myself, but also explain that I'm not an insensitive sociopath who laughs at his perceived pain. I've explained my dilemma and he seems understanding, but it's still embarrassing and frustrating when it happens.

So, again, has anyone here had the misfortune of dealing with a similar problem? If so, have you been able to figure out how to prevent it?

[Jester's Rags]

I have had this problem since I was young. It’s gotten me into fistfights. The only advice I can give is be aware of it. Try and head it off before you really get going. Maybe pinch yourself? Sort I can’t be of more help, but you’re not the only person this happens to.

[Thunder Bow]

No need to defend yourself. You are not insensitive. Your laughing may have been appropriate.

[seesaw]

I don't have this problem chronically but I did have it once. My stepmother was accusing me of something and since I wanted to keep my mouth shut and not yell at her for being an uncompassionate, heartless jerk, I bit my lips and it sort of looked like I was smiling. Then she yelled at me, saying she knew I was right and had lied, because I had bit my lips and smiled (which I hadn't, not on purpose). I hadn't lied about anything. I wasn't manipulating them. I had been pretty damn open and honest about everything.

I don't know how to stop it, but I just wanted to say that all of us have an "inappropriate" reaction from time to time, and it's not because we are bad people, it's just because we don't know how to react and, I think, that we sometimes laugh or smile because to express the other emotions, the negative emotions we are truly feeling, would destroy us because they are so strong.

Seesaw

I do this and have laughed at a funeral. I laughed when I was in a serious car accident, so hard the paramedics kept asking me if I hit my head. I laughed when my husband told me my grandfather died. I laughed so hard I cried and my husband just stared at me. I think in my case it's a coping mechanism. Sometimes there is a reason when we laugh at inappropriate times.

[pegasus]

Emotions come out the way they come out. Worrying about it is going to make you more nervous and more likely to let out those emotions. I know it makes you feel bad but it would be more worrying if you had no emotions at all. I remember years ago when there was a tragic death of a young teenager, his brother who was a few years younger laughed all the way through the funeral. It's a strong emotion like crying, it was his emotional way of dealing with the death of his brother. The emotions had to come out somehow...

[JakeBH9]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I don't have this problem chronically but I did have it once. My stepmother was accusing me of something and since I wanted to keep my mouth shut and not yell at her for being an uncompassionate, heartless jerk, I bit my lips and it sort of looked like I was smiling. Then she yelled at me, saying she knew I was right and had lied, because I had bit my lips and smiled (which I hadn't, not on purpose). I hadn't lied about anything. I wasn't manipulating them. I had been pretty damn open and honest about everything.

I don't know how to stop it, but I just wanted to say that all of us have an "inappropriate" reaction from time to time, and it's not because we are bad people, it's just because we don't know how to react and, I think, that we sometimes laugh or smile because to express the other emotions, the negative emotions we are truly feeling, would destroy us because they are so strong.

Seesaw

I've been on even more than you have actually, so don't feel bad if you do at all about how many you've tried there.

[JakeBH9]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

I do this and have laughed at a funeral. I laughed when I was in a serious car accident, so hard the paramedics kept asking me if I hit my head. I laughed when my husband told me my grandfather died. I laughed so hard I cried and my husband just stared at me. I think in my case it's a coping mechanism. Sometimes there is a reason when we laugh at inappropriate times.

I take zoloft and vyvanse as well, no lithium

[greatlakesgirl]

I have that same problem! I wonder if it's some sort of defense mechanism, mine usually happens when I'm nervous and it's too quiet. I did laugh at a funeral, and it's not that I thought anything was funny, I was sad, it just got quiet, and it seems to happen during quiet times like that, or when it's not supposed to! Same thing back when I was in school, if somebody was giving a speech and it got quiet, it'd happen then, too. I actually worried in advance about the "laughing in a funeral or during class when it got quiet" thing. I think it might be nerves with me. The good thing is, as I've gotten older, it happens much, much less. I hope the same thing happens for you, too!

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by Aesthete

Hi everyone,

I seem to have an issue that has plagued me since childhood and I'm wondering if any of you have dealt with the same. That issue is laughing at emotionally inappropriate times. I haven't laughed at a funeral yet (thank goodness), but I have laughed in threatening situations. When I was thirteen, my mom grabbed me by the throat and shoved me up against the wall. She was red in the face, nostrils flared, and looked like a raging bull. For some reason, it just tickled me and caused me to burst out laughing. I remember feeling very uncomfortable, but I couldn't help but to act as if it was hilarious. It only enraged her more, so it certainly didn't help to alleviate my anxiety at the time.

It's been a long time since that event, but I've noticed that the same thing has happened recently in my relationship. I've had several instances where my boyfriend was being verbally abusive or accusing me of being sneaky and hiding things from him (due to jealousy issues on his part) and I couldn't help but to laugh. Obviously this only made things worse. So not only was I then having to defend myself, but also explain that I'm not an insensitive sociopath who laughs at his perceived pain. I've explained my dilemma and he seems understanding, but it's still embarrassing and frustrating when it happens.

So, again, has anyone here had the misfortune of dealing with a similar problem? If so, have you been able to figure out how to prevent it?

I've had an urge to smile at bad news but, laughing in distressful or upsetting situations have never occured with me. Do you feel nervous when you do it? If so it could be some kind of deep-rooted reaction to your perception of these kind of situations. Has anything ever happened in your childhood years that may have an affect on anxious or nervous feelings for you?