[helpconcernedmom]

please can someone give me some kind of direction as I am very concerned with the welfare of a pregnant bi polar adult. My boyfriends daughter is in her late 30s and was diagnosed with bi polar disorder many years back and was receiving the proper medication. She got pregnant close to 5 months ago and emmediatly stopped going in to get her shot. She was living with us but moved to redding to live with her boyfriend and his family. She recently called and wanted us to pick her up and bring her home. We brought her home and she doesn't look as if she has been caring for herself and appears to have been abused. She is around five months pregnant and has lost a significant amount of weight and has several bruises all about her body. She says that she has been making her checkup appointments for the baby and that the bruises are just from wresting. I have been made aware of the fact that he has been physically abusing her. She sugarcoats what is happening and now is talking about going back to live in redding with him again. He has made threats to her about harming her family and threats of coming to the hospital after she has the baby and taking it from her. She says shes lonely and so I think her plan are to go back with him. She is an adult but there must be something we can do as it is obvious she isn't making good desitions on her own.

[healingme4me]

Over here in the States, grandparents do have rights situation dependent.

The fact that she stopped meds during the pregnancy could be something her doctor was aware of?

Do you have women's shelters or hotlines over there, even just to call and ask.

Domestic violence is such a tough scenario when the victim is in denial and trying to protect the abuser.

What can your bf do to entice her to stay for a while? Uplift her and encourage her there is a better life away from this person whom she probably feels at this stage is her only supporter. Keep in mind the mental warfare she's probably been through to reach this point.

Hopefully others know resources and how things work over where you are.

[Shazerac]

Wow! What a scary situation. Unfortunately, other than going to court and having her declared incompetent (which is almost impossible to do) there is really nothing you can do other than support her when she’s willing to receive help.

Watching an adult child going through self destruction from mental illness is one of the most painful and helpless experiences in the world. I went through that with my daughter. She ended up getting 2 of her children taken away and adopted out. I was actually glad because the children were in a stable loving home.

[Skeezyks]

Hello & welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

There is a forum, here on PC, devoted to partners & caregivers of people who have mental illness. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/part...ivers-support/

I'm sorry to read of your difficult situation. Unfortunately, since your bf's daughter is an adult, I doubt there may be much of anything anyone can do to intervene in this situation. As an adult, she has the right to make her own decisions, including bad ones.

Since your bf's daughter is pregnant, I suppose her father could contact whatever child protective services exist in your state to express his concern for his yet to be born grandchild. I don't know if they would be able to intervene until after the baby is born (if then.) But you might at least be able to gain some perspective from them with regard to what is & isn't possible in order to protect the infant.

As far as the abuse you suspect, one resource you might check in with would be the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Home - The National Domestic Violence Hotline

1 (800) 799-7233

Here again, there probably isn't anything they can actually do. But perhaps they may be able to offer some useful advice.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to help someone who won't, or can't, help themselves:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/helpin...snt-want-help/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/

There's also a book I have seen recommended as being a "must read" for anyone with a family member who does not acknowledge they have a mental illness & who won't seek treatment. It is titled: I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help. (It's available for purchase on Amazon, I believe.) Here's a link to a review of the book:

A review of "I'm not sick, I don't need help!" - Friends for Mental Health

My best wishes to you...

[Thunder Bow]

If he threatens harm to her, speak to law enforcement. Get help.

Yes, bring law enforcement into the situation.

Have an intervention. Before you do so, do some leg work on her behalf. Don't merely say you have to leave; instead, give her aleternative options. Where can she go for help? What shelters or homes are there she can go to? What resources exist to help her financially. It is vitally imperative that she know there is hope on the horizon. Simply telling her life will be better won't work unless you demonstrate that to her.

Offer her emotional support. Find out about bipolar or mood disorder support groups and offer to attend a meeting or two with her if these groups allow (my group encourages this).

Finally, you might want to investigate the laws where you are regarding grand parental rights. They just might be in your favour.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by helpconcernedmom

please can someone give me some kind of direction as I am very concerned with the welfare of a pregnant bi polar adult. My boyfriends daughter is in her late 30s and was diagnosed with bi polar disorder many years back and was receiving the proper medication. She got pregnant close to 5 months ago and emmediatly stopped going in to get her shot. She was living with us but moved to redding to live with her boyfriend and his family. She recently called and wanted us to pick her up and bring her home. We brought her home and she doesn't look as if she has been caring for herself and appears to have been abused. She is around five months pregnant and has lost a significant amount of weight and has several bruises all about her body. She says that she has been making her checkup appointments for the baby and that the bruises are just from wresting. I have been made aware of the fact that he has been physically abusing her. She sugarcoats what is happening and now is talking about going back to live in redding with him again. He has made threats to her about harming her family and threats of coming to the hospital after she has the baby and taking it from her. She says shes lonely and so I think her plan are to go back with him. She is an adult but there must be something we can do as it is obvious she isn't making good desitions on her own.

since this is the usa there is nothing you can do. here only those in the domestic violence situation can decide what to do about their violent spouse. you can if you feel any children are in danger contact child protective services. or go to court and prove how the parents are abusing or neglecting the children. but understand that the court may not award you custody they may end up in the system or with other relatives if that's what the court decides is in the childs best interest.