[rdgrad15]

Hii everyone, so I know someone I used to be friends with but she had the tendency to use me and others and really did not care about anyone but herself. After she left the college I attended due to poor academic performance, she pulled away from everyone. Even me for the most part. I was not surprised, actually, I was relieved. But sometimes she does text me every so often. Like we went months without talking but then when it came time for me to graduate, she suddenly showed interest. And even went to the graduation ceremony.

We hung out a couple times after that, thinking maybe she had changed and matured. But then just dropped all contact again. Then picked back up for a few days and even wanted to hang out again. And apologized for not texting. Yes she may be busy but no one is so busy that they can't text for months in a row. Or responds with one word answers.

She obviously does not care. When she does text me, she always claims to be bored so I feel like I am her back up friend. A friend out of boredom. I no longer care for her. I actually emotionally detached myself from her since she clearly does not care about me. Just don't understand why she feels the need to spontaniously text me after long periods of no contact. She was always on her phone texting when we did hang out in the past. Is there a way to tell her to stop doing that? Or just ignore her?

Overall, I feel like she is just texting me out of boredom, unless she does care but is doing a horrible job of it. I no longer consider her a friend, just wish she would stop texting me if she does not care. She should find other people to talk to that she actually does care about. She gives off the vibe she just does not care about anyone at all so not sure if she is just super bad at showing she cares or if she truely is not a nice person and is only out to use me and possibly even others.

[Thunder Bow]

You name is one on a long list of friends she texts. Texting is a way for her to feel connected with out getting to close to one. I do not think it has any thing to do with you personally. At least she remembers you once in a while.

[Skeezyks]

Hello rdgrad15: If you really just don't care to hear from her anymore... the next time you hear from her just tell her... straight up. Forget about trying to figure out what's going on with her. That's really just a pointless exercise.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You name is one on a long list of friends she texts. Texting is a way for her to feel connected with out getting to close to one. I do not think it has any thing to do with you personally. At least she remembers you once in a while.

Sorry for the very late reply. Yeah I agree with you. She has, recently, been hanging out with me more lately which I am surprised but she is starting to fall back into her old ways so I am starting to think she could be depressed. And also, like you said, she also just may not want to be close to anyone.

[Deejay14]

Why not just permanently block her? Also so What about her texts, you don't have to respond to them. She will get the message.

So suppose she is in fact depressed as suggested might be a possibility. I guess you have to sit down and answer this question for yourself: are you prepared to be the stalwart friend being there for her through thick and thin or do you need to back away and look after your own needs. rdgrad15, you would not be a bad person if your response was the second. No one rightfully would look down upon you for choosing to do so.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

So suppose she is in fact depressed as suggested might be a possibility. I guess you have to sit down and answer this question for yourself: are you prepared to be the stalwart friend being there for her through thick and thin or do you need to back away and look after your own needs. rdgrad15, you would not be a bad person if your response was the second. No one rightfully would look down upon you for choosing to do so.

Well I can definitely help to an extent. I've helped a different person through a period of depression to an extent. So it can be done, but that is only if she allowed me to. And I am talking about mild depression, nothing too major. But I agree, it would be tough so it would be a combination of both options. Help a bit but at the same time, be careful. I deal with chronic loneliness and possibly borderline depression myself so I know how it feels to constantly feel sad and lonely. I don't mean to just assume she has depression, I only think it because of her actions and how her actions are alarmingly similar to other people who actually do have mild depression. Most notably, acting like you don't give a crap about anything. Social anhedonia plays a part of it. She admitted to feeling constantly lonely though and admitted to not really caring or feeling joy in social situations. That is why. But I could be totally wrong. Not saying I am completely right. Just an observation.