[JEAGoodman]

My child is 21 and has severe spider phobias. They found a wolf spider in their room and called me at work. My husband tried to find it, but can't now my child is afraid to go back into the house. Is there anything I can do?

Jeanne

I used to lie (yes bad but white lies are sometimes necessary) to my former husband and tell him I had caught and released it outside. I was grasping at straws and this became necessary.

[*Laurie*]

Aside from black widows and brown recluses we don't have any dangerous spiders in California. I like spiders. I don't pay attention to them (unless they are the 2 dangerous types I've mentioned).


I'm assuming the a wolf spider is something dangerous?

[Thunder Bow]

At 21 he/she should be grown up enough to handle it. If this is bad as you say, therapy may be recommended.

[Gus1234U]

[Wolf spiders are members of the family Lycosidae, from the Ancient Greek word "λύκος" meaning "wolf". They are robust and agile hunters with excellent eyesight They live mostly in solitude and hunt alone, and do not spin webs.] (they do not bite people, who are too big to be considered food.)

phobia reduction is often addressed by small, incremental, steps. first you go to the front door,, see: no spiders; then into the living room, see: no spiders...
add a spider catcher to the mix... this will keep the spider away... use one of those 'dream catchers', maybe ?

it's an irrational fear which many people have, and can be helped by seemingly irrational protections... i wish you well.

you might try adding pictures of spiders to the process, especially the eyes, which are the most alarming part of spiders to many arachnophobes. only hold the picture as close as the 'child' is comfortable with, and gradually bring it closer and closer, maybe even isolating and enlarging the eyes or feet, whichever is most alarming. knowledge is power, and understanding the pieces can make the 'whole' more acceptable.

and, honestly, it is not all that irrational to think that a deadly danger lurking in the house makes it uninhabitable. you might get a spider in a jar and tell your child that you have rid the house of it. and that it is not a threat, but is like a vacuum cleaner, keeping the house free of other bugs and flies. (rational explanations rarely work.)

age has nothing to do with a phobia. i am in my mid 50s and we have wolf spiders here where i live. i am petrified of ALL spiders and bugs and if i found one of those hairy behemoths in my room-and i have before-you best believe id want proof it was dead before i set foot in there again. being "harmless" doesnt matter to dispel the fear. everyone is afraid of something. and fear doesnt always require therapy either....

[emgreen]

Wolf spiders rock, Gus! Thanks for that.

Tell your son that at least they're not nesting in his ears. That'll make him feel better.

[eskielover]

I agree.....I had a wolf spider in my basement with a 3 inch leg span. I keep a can of bug spray in every room on my large house wo I don't have to hunt for it when in need

Maybe get your 21 year old a can of their own bug spray. Can spray without getting near & it gives a sense of control.

I live alone so I have to take care of ALL bug priblems in my house by myself & I live on a 10 acre farm with tons of bugs that look for shelter inside my home.

I leave bugs alone outside....that is their home but expect them to respect my home & stay out!!!!

[healingme4me]

Has your 21yo son returned home, yet? I don't know your situation, but could this be a blessing in disguise?

I see it's your first post, Welcome to PC