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Old Jun 16, 2018, 05:25 PM
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I’m in general not a jealous person. I’m not jealous of family members, coworkers or even celebrities. Honestly I can be pretty full of myself sometimes. But there’s this one person I went to elementary school with. And ever since I was 7 I’ve been insanely jealous of her. In school she was perfect. She was a gifted student she was a great athlete and made all the sports teams she tried out for. She was very popular and everyone was her friend. Her parents had money and they were always taking her out of school to go to Arizona or Disney Land. I was the complete opposite of her.

Her life seems perfect 13 years later. She’s getting her PHD at a good college and she is basically going on a European vacation every other week.

I wish I could ignore these thoughts. But I’m not doing that bad though. My life seems perfect as well according to my public Facebook posts. I have 3 vacations coming up in the next 2 months as well. I have a ton of family support, job security an overall good job working with good people. Why am I so focused on her still?

I feel bad for some reason, but again things are going just as well for me. Just differently.
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  #2  
Old Jun 16, 2018, 10:28 PM
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What EXACTLY are you jealous of about her? You have listed all the things she is good at but you haven't really specified why you are jealous of this.
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  #3  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 06:25 AM
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I think the answer to the 'why' is simply - you just are. It's the way you are, in this respect. Now, how do you let go of the thoughts, the jealousy? Yes, that's the tricky part. I use mindfulness on a daily basis to help let go of troubling thoughts within the moment. May not mean you can let it go for good, but when the thoughts come back, you just use the mindfulness again. It's a way of lessening the impact of obsessing, I guess you could say. Mindfulness. Maybe you've heard of it.
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  #4  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 08:50 AM
justafriend306
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So what is she not good at? If you think about it what might lie beneath the surface of perfection?

The first thought that comes to mind is that her life may in fact be incredibly hard. How difficult I imagine it would be to maintain such an outward appearance of perfection, ease, and good fortune.

So yes, take heed in the knowledge that her life could have its own problems. It may not be so easy as you see it to be.
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  #5  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 08:59 AM
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That kind of "driven" takes a lot of hard work, dedication & focus....a cost many don't want to pay yet want the same rewards. Wanting what someone else has without wanting or able to get it yourself is JEALOUSY....alot different from acknowledging someone's successes & ADMIRING what they have achieved. Are you sure what yiu are feeling is jealousy or admiration?
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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  #6  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
What EXACTLY are you jealous of about her? You have listed all the things she is good at but you haven't really specified why you are jealous of this.
That’s the point. What am I jealous of? I can go on vacations. I am going on vacations. I have things I’m good at. I’m not doing any worse then her. I’m confused to what I’m jealous about when I really can’t specify.

I never really thought it could be admiration. But perhaps it could be.
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  #7  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
So what is she not good at? If you think about it what might lie beneath the surface of perfection?

The first thought that comes to mind is that her life may in fact be incredibly hard. How difficult I imagine it would be to maintain such an outward appearance of perfection, ease, and good fortune.

So yes, take heed in the knowledge that her life could have its own problems. It may not be so easy as you see it to be.
Yeah that’s what my mom said. She may very well be unhappy with her life. My life seems perfect as well according to my public Facebook posts. I’ve just felt this way since I was 8. It’s hard to think differently.
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Old Jun 17, 2018, 01:44 PM
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What is really causing your envy of your former schoolmate?
  #9  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 10:07 PM
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My mom said that all those European trips every other week could be for business or school. Makes more sense then going every other week for the fun of it.

I’m also wondering that maybe she’s just trying to do this stuff while she still can before she has a demanding job in her field? I don’t know. I’m trying just to be positive about every situation I’m currently dealing with.
  #10  
Old Jun 17, 2018, 10:10 PM
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Would you REALLY want to be doing what she does?
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
  #11  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 05:43 PM
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I mean, European vacations would be nice. Honestly I’m very happy with myself and how my life is going. So I guess not?
  #12  
Old Jun 18, 2018, 07:32 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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If you're envious of your former classmate going to Europe I believe it's important to accept your envy. Once you acknowledge that Yeah, I am envious of her going to Europe...decide what you want to do about the envy. Live with it, take it as a clue that you want to travel somewhere, be an armchair tourist and watch programs about countries you'd like to visit....whatever works for you.
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  #13  
Old Jun 24, 2018, 05:03 PM
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I think if I just adjusted my attitude I’d feel peace and happiness. Happiness always depends on your attitude. Nothing else.
  #14  
Old Jun 24, 2018, 05:24 PM
Anonymous35008
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Just a thought, maybe it isn’t about her, maybe your just not quite happy with what your doing ...I think if we learn to like /love ourselves and are happy with where we are going etc, then we don’t get bothered by others....
Apologies if I’ve got it wrong but it was a thought I had....
Wish you well 🌺
  #15  
Old Jun 25, 2018, 06:56 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bozdickens View Post
I think if I just adjusted my attitude I’d feel peace and happiness. Happiness always depends on your attitude. Nothing else.
So what about your attitude can you adjust to make this change?

Interesting article on the difference between joy & happiness....might give yiu some food for thought

https://www.diffen.com/difference/Happiness_vs_Joy
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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