[confuddled]

Hi all it's been a while 😅 just a quick one, I've been in a rocky relationship with my partner who has previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. We always knew there was more but found it very hard to get a diagnosis as mental health support is very scarce in the UK. Anyway he has recently been diagnosed with complex ptsd aswel. My question is I have been his go to for verbal abuse for about 3 years now although never physical toward me except smashing my house up, he says he can't help it and it's his mental health. Is this a valid reason I've been going through this with him for so long now and he always says the same thing don't take it personally it's not me it's my illness. Is this a valid reason and am I being selfish for wanting to end the volatile relationship? Thanks guys any advice or similar stories would be appreciated x

Hard to say without actually meeting him.

There have been times where I would break things, but that was before I stopped drinking.

I remember feeling better after the "stress release" tantrums...

However, unless he's been living under a rock the last ~10 years, he should know not to do those things.

But again, it's hard to say. If you do plan on leaving him, for the love of god, prewarn him and be delicate about it.

Just know that it gets better soon after it's been worse.

[imchet]

We're all responsible for our actions. I told my wife I didn't love her anymore. Whether that can be directly attributed to my deterioated mental health is anyone's guess. Even I don't Know. Either way she still kicked me out of the house and despises me for it. We're all capable of being rather poor human beings, we're all prone to error. Unfortunately, the consequences are often the same whether it's due to an aspect of mental illness or not.

[ShadowGX]

Unfortunately, some people do use their mental illness as an excuse... I don't know him though, so I can't say if that's the case here. What I can say is if he is destroying things and verbally abusing you then you have every right to want out. It could turn physical, but even if it never did that's a miserable environment for you to be in.

You haven't mentioned what he's doing to stop this behavior, but if it's been going on for 3 years, whatever he's doing isn't enough. If you love him and want to try to make it work you can try talking him into getting more help. Maybe medication is something he needs. Maybe you can help him find resources online that he can use to self-help if therapy isn't an option due to how difficult it is to get into over there.

[*Laurie*]

Uh, NO. Breaking things is not okay - I don't care what the reason is. Bottom line, breaking items is extreme violence and there's a very good chance that when he can't get enough rage out by breaking things, he'll start physically abusing you. You can choose now if you want to live with that.