Is this how most people are?

Is it REALLY a blessing???? Or something you need to keep telling yourself to protect that fragile ego that lies deep within you that you developed in your childhood?

I am a user and proud of it, isn't really something to be very proud of. It means you can't experience anything "genuine", it's just too Alien to you.

Actually, what is so wierd is it's people like you that someone "tries" to actually love but ends up being badly hurt because people like you just can't love. You only know how to do to them what happened to you. It's just so sad to me.

Thats correct. Yet its just how I am and will always be. At the same time I think that I was born as NPD. I remember these traits in me even when I was 3-4yo, far before any neglect and abuse had taken place.

I also believe that my father is also genetically NPD. So Im a copy of him in many ways. Him and my mother are a true match on many levels. I dont really blame them for anything really, they are what they are.

Well, that's debatable as young children tend to see the world revolving around them and can be extremely influenced by their parental behavior patterns.

I just want to add, if you look at your two threads can you now see "why" you need to do what you described?

What you are trying to figure out is if an imaginary/made up female can break down and weaken different men. Why would you need that? Why would you find that pleasing? Because that is what happened to you. You are trying to VALIDATE that deep hurt part in yourself caused by your mother. What you are really doing is taking your own anger about this personal challenge out on others.

That isn't how you heal that hurt part, it's "inaccurate". See how your own psychi is working here?

Something to think about.

No you don't, actually you and Darkness have much in common that way.

Interestingly enough you both create fantasy women and give them powers too. Why is that now?

And you both struggle with women too. Very similar.

And you know what? I am sorry, I am so sorry for both of you.

Years ago I lived in a small culdesac, nice new homes, pretty street. I had a crystal party and invited some of these mothers to my home. One mother stood in my living room and talked about her house being her dream house. Then she talked about her two sons, how much she could not wait for them to move out, did not really care for being a mother. Well, she got her wish sooner than she thought when her young son, just turning 14 hung himself in her basement of her damn little dream house.

If I had only known that young boy really was so lonely and had some way to talk to him. It makes me angry.

its quite simple. Women have disproportionate power in the world, especially online. My girl is smart, unpredictable, very sweet, sensual and she would knock most guys off their feet in a matter of hours. Its simply supply vs demand here really. Tons of horny hungry guys vs this just one girl whos everything they have ever hoped for lol. And way more than that.

Catfishing women in real life is also quite fun. By that I mean: presenting myself as their prince on a horse, with balls made of gold while in reality not being into them on any level can be fun.

I really want to encounter a woman who Id like but its unlikely to happen. And settling for a commoner is the last thing that Id want for myself and my hypothetical kids.

You shouldnt feel sorry for me. When Im getting the right food (and its quite often the case) then I feel very satisfied with my life, Im full of energy; ideas and my overall optimistic positivity is SO contaminating that the world likes me and I get supply all over the place which in turn makes me feel even better

When I do not get the right kind of supply then its quite the opposite and Im somewhat depressed yes but its these rare lows which make me think about certain things and improve me. In fact, at the very bottom of a downtrend Im quite zombie like or possibly like a vampire who needs brains or blood to get the juices going.

PS. Right now Im at the beginning of a hopefully powerful uptrend and I feel like nature in the spring I feel like I become more and more alive and the world notices this and gives me what I want without me asking for it. its this feeling of being back to life, of being rejuvenated that can be overwhelming and especially the contrast with getting no interesting supply at all.

I hope this new uptrend isnt a headfake but something that can take me to new peaks without an early top.

Inaccurate,

Human beings go through stages of development where for a long time the world revolves around them. There are a lot of years of "self discovery" both physically and mentally. The word "narcissism" is identifying something all human beings have where they learn how to interact both physically and mentally with the world around them to gain ways of getting their needs met and to gradually use the part of their brain that all humans are born with "navigation", the desire to "navigate". Narcissism is something we all need and it helps us all gradually develop our self awareness and our own identity and how we can navigate where we can feel confident in our own identity.

When children are young they are very vulnerable because they have so much to learn about their own bodies and how to think about so many things in this world around them. Children are extremely dependent on their parent/parents when it comes to their sense of safety, warmth, nourishment and receiving comforting soothing touches and warmth from the mother/parent. When a baby wakes up, that baby needs something and they wake up "cold, wet, hungry" and when a baby is hungry their stomach hurts badly, so much so that they cry. The longer that baby has to wait, the louder that baby cries and that's because their tummy really HURTS when they are hungry.

Even if you were to observe primates, all primate babies cry and primate mothers hold them a lot and make sure they get nourishment. A mother feeds and holds that child and in so doing provides that child with nourishment, warmth, and she also provides "oxytocin" that the child absorbs that sends that child a message of being wanted, loved, and protected. Also the mother/parent helps that baby "slowly" see her, hear her voice and begin to gradually learn how to socialize. Both infant sexes need this nurturing as they are very fragile little human beings. Infant/babies feel pain when hungry, and they also feel pain when they experience tummy aches and a lot of babies get gas as they often take in air when they nurse and their little tummies tend to create gases as they begin digesting this nourishment that thier little bodies need to grow and they do grow a lot which is why they sleep a lot as growing uses up a lot of energy.

Some mothers do not realize how important their role is when it comes to nurturing that baby. There are a lot of things a mother needs to learn, and it's important the mother pay attention and understand child development because "WE DO NOT GET REDO'S". I have seen mothers act like their baby is a burden, I have seen them even say to a restless infant, "Ugh, not today, I am busy, I don't feel good, I am not in the mood". No infant or baby has any ability to understand this, yet they can feel it. The only way a baby can communicate is mostly through crying. So most of the time a baby cries because something hurts, tummy, teeth, cold, shivers, sense of needing comforting.

We are all born with "narcissistic needs". We are all dependent on our mother/parent to help us learn how to discover and slowly navigate in the world around us, and we all go through stages of "development" where we slowly gain our own sense of "narcissism". We all need this to survive and thrive.

When that mother expressed to me that day when she told me she did not want her two boys around, that she wanted HER OWN life and how inconvenient her own children were. I thought "wow, how awful". That's not what I ever felt when it came to my own child, instead I thought it was the most amazing thing, the most beautiful thing and I wanted and enjoyed that small little human being.

I remember seeing that young teenager get dropped off by the bus and walk down the road of our small dead end culdesac of these pretty homes all different as each couple got to build these homes to their taste and also based on what they could afford too. I did think the house he lived in was pretty, I liked the color, two toned blue, but really pretty shades of blue, it was a cape cod style home. Yet, it was more important to this mother than that amazing miracle she created that was walking down that street.

I only was able to have one child myself, a little girl and I enjoyed every minute of being her mother. I did want a little boy too. Unfortunately, I had developed endometriosis and while could get pregnant, I could not carry full term and I miscarried. There were times when I saw this young teenager and I thought, "how lucky that woman is to have that amazing young boy". When I learned what happened and it happened not long after she stood there telling me how inconvient it was for her to have to be a mother, I was devasted.

I can still see the ambulance and the police cars with their sirens coming down that small street with all those pretty houses that were all unique. And I began to hear what happened, it was just horrifying to hear. This young teen was struggling in school, and he was getting yelled at and both of his parents were not helping him, he was too inconvient. He came home that day, had put something in the microwave to eat and he thought that when his mother heard it ding that she would come get him. He was in so much need, and did not know HOW to get help that he went down to the basement thinking if he tried to hang himself, his mother would find him and realize how badly he needed help. She did not go look for him when that bell rang and when she did find him, it was too late. It might seem like I am making this all up, yet, I am not because I learned all this from individuals who knew more about this family and their problems.

That small neighborhood turned out really pretty, there were only about 10 houses in that small development, and it was very pretty. Yet, what most did not see about that so called "pretty" neighborhood was what it really meant to live in it. I did not build the biggest house, yet I was so excited to at least be able to build a nice little home for my little family. I was shocked when I had to face how others looked down on me for not being able to build a bigger house like theirs. I tried to meet these other mothers and was so shocked when I stood there listening to them as they picked apart each home and what they did not like and how they needed to think their home "was the best". Every time I tried to be social they tended to ignore me and just needed to talk about their homes and their designer clothes and their cars. I remember looking down and seeing a pretty red wagon called "radio flyer" and I commented on how pretty it was and asked where they got it. These other women all had these reflector sunglasses on so I could not see their eyes, and I have to say it was creepy. And my question about that little wagon was completely ignored. Actually, I was pretty much ignored as well.

In that small neighborhood, there were a few divorces, and there was a house behind mine that was one of the first ones built in that developement. It was a young couple where the mother had twin girls. When her girls were only about 4 this mother committed suicide. There was gossip going around that she was unhappy and planning on leaving her husband and she really did not commit suicide, instead he killed her. And he ended up having a complete breakdown and had to be institutionalized. Her parents ended up having to raise these beautiful twin girls.

I was just a young mother and happy to be a mother, thought it was THE MOST amazing thing to be able to experience. Yet, I came across so many mothers that were not very happy, needed to have bigger houses, nice cars, designer clothes, their children were just "part of this kind of picture" of what needs to come next and the constant statements of "can't wait until they go to school" like these women were in prision. I never saw it that way myself. I really loved being a mother, I loved helping my child explore and find herself, form her own little identity. I loved spending time reading to her, taking her to the beach to walk on the sand bars at low tide and to observe her getting so excited about all the things she was exploring and discovering. How on earth is that a BURDEN? I loved going to the swings on that beach and pushing her in the swings and seeing her laugh and smile with delight, there is nothing more beautiful than that, no home, car or designer anything can compete with that.

You asked me, "what to you get out of it" when I told you what I like to do when I help someone else. It's the feeling I get when I see a child get excited about themselves and how they can learn and do and discover and become themselves and feel "good about it".

When you talked about what you experienced at around age 13, that's a really important stage of life for a child. That is an age where a child is beginning to see a lot of things, it's where that child is looking at themselves in a very different way, they are just beginning to discover their unique sense of self and even their sense of sexuality and vulnerabilities. A parent needs to understand this significant stage of life and sense of growing awareness. It's NEVER a time to ignore a child or encourage some kind of sense of "failure". While a child is slowly learning about their own "narcissisim" and developing that part of themselves gradually throughout their childhood where at any time they can sustain deep narcissistic injuries, often it's around the age of 12 that a child can sustain very deep narcissistic injuries that can affect them the rest of their lives. This is what can begin to change what is considered "normal narcissism" that we all as human beings have, to developing a hurt and disordered sense of narcissism.

I believe both you, Inaccurate and Darkness are indeed very intelligent. However, what I have noticed in both of you is an anger and frustration to find a way to resolve some deep narcissistic injuries. What you both choose to do reveals a lot about the source of these deep injuries.

Your question Inaccurate, "Is this how most people are?". What I can say to you is that most people experience degrees of narcissistic injuries. And most people have some narcissistic traits. It's kinda like thinking about it on a graph that is a kind of line that can have peaks where the individual's personal narcissism can reflect things that are not so much of a big deal, to this is important and something I need to somehow fix. Fix, for most of us is about "doing something, navigating". I need to learn how to do X so I can have X. Truth is, it's part our design in that we tend to look for ways to gain our sense of control over our surivival.

Personally, I never really read about or thought about this label used a lot now "narcissist". There is this ongoing message of how narcissists are evil and bad and dangerous. Actually, there has been an ongoing discussion about possibly changing this label in the diagnostic manual. I think that the reason for this is due to slowly learning how this kind of personality challenge tends to develop.

Given what I have learned about both you, Inaccurate and Darkness, I can see that you both sustained some significant narcissistic injuries. Yet, there is something else I have been struggling with, and it definitely affected me pretty much all my life. My dad recently passed away and there were ways my dad behaved that ended up creating a lot of dysfunction in my own home and family.

When you talk about the pentinent and getting to a void and finding the right hat? I know about that, I really know. I think about my father and the narcissism he had, and how he developed it himself from suffering his own deep narcissistic injuries. My father grew up with an alcoholic father and his father was a nice man with a high IQ, but a mean alcoholic. It must have been really bad, whenever I tried to talk to him about it in the many times I was spending time alone with him, he always had a look that told me "too hard to talk about". I know it was bad though because when my father was about age 12, his mother ran away. It had to have been bad for her to choose to run away and leave both him and his younger sister behind. Truth is, he never got over being abandoned that way. He took that out on my mother and it was NOT healthy for me to experience that growing up.

He would say, "marry a woman that loves you more than you love her, that way you can controll her and she won't leave you". Truth is, my father did not want my mother to have "healthy" self esteem. He did not want her to feel strong enough where she could EVER leave him. I saw him be mean to my mother, he did not hit her, but he did hurt her emotionally. Children do NOT understand that, I know I didn't. It's not healthy for either little girls or little boys to see. My father wasn't all bad, he had a very kind and very intelligent side to him. When I read what both you, Inaccurate and Darkness share, I see that side in both of you as well. You both have read about a lot of things, made it a point to gain knowledge, that's what my dad did too.

When you talk about picking the right hat, I had to do that myself and finding that hat was important, just you as say. When you talk about having to be intelligent enough, that's true too. My mother never really figured that one out, not even when I tried to tell her what kind of hat she had to wear. I don't blame her in that she was too hurt to understand it, that's what happens to most women put in her role by the kind of man my father was.

Mothers play such an important role in how a little human being develops "healthy" narcissism. Both you Inaccurate and Darkness are living examples of that. However, so was my own father as well as that young boy that I saw walking down my small street so many years ago that ended up taking his own life. Ofcourse, there are a lot of variables that need to also be considered. Learning how a human being's mind is wired and how that small human being learns with that kind of wiring. How that wiring that is different can contribute to some deep narcissistic injuries as well. Oh, I sure had to learn a lot about this in that my own amazing child had brain wiring that is called "dyslexia". IQ?, often I think that too is very misunderstood and creates some unnessary narcissistic injuries.

What I CAN say to you Inaccurate, is that you are not going to properly "heal" the injuries you have by finding ways to see if you can prove a weakness in other men that you seem to feel you can do in a very short time. Truth is, you are right in that it often CAN only take a short time to do it and prove it. That isn't going to "fix" your own injury as I have mentioned. Your own injury is NOT your fault either, it doesn't mean you are weak, hurt doesn't equal weak. Yet, it can create a very uncomfortable sense of vulnerablity. Sigh....I found the right hat and that is why my father felt safe enough to sit across from me and weep one day. Men are not suppose to cry in front of others, at least not in my father's generation. You are also right about how someone who is empathic can be hurt badly. I do know that one very intimately. What I experienced surrounding my father's death has been extremely toxic for me, sigh...have so much to grieve with it all.

I am sorry for how both you and Darkness were hurt, neither of you deserved it and it wasn't your fault. However, I know that healing is not accomplished through hurting others and manipulating them or making them feel small so you can feel big or have some kind of sense of control. I watched my father do this and it was not "healthy" for him, his wife, me, my older brother or my older sister. My father was not a bad man, he had special things about him and he was very smart and he had depth to him too. I loved it when I found the right hat to wear around him, he had so many interesting life experiences that he shared with me. I think my own time with him helped heal some things in him too, having a loving presence that left him so very long ago, that he needed to watch him and listen to him and help him feel "safe".

thanks for this long post.

your story aside, there is nothing new in there for me really. I have read Sam Vaknins work many years ago and I just knew it was about me on so many levels lol.

I havent been destroyed completely, and can like someone on many levels which I wont discuss here.

Its VERY regrettable that my 3 year old thread about me being catfished was moved to the admins only section or you would be very surprised how psychologically attracted I was to that girl The admins moved it away from the public eyes and my attempts to have it restored have fallen on deaf ears. Regrettably so.

Please consider listening to this song, its about me on many levels, especially this part of course: "But looking back I see what I was meant to see. I gazed at my reflection in your eyes".

On many levels (but not all levels) I will forever be like this with nearly everyone except for my parents. They are incapable of giving me ANY sort of supply at all.

Well, first of all, I did not know what catfished meant, my only knowlege about catfishing is actual catfishing where you go to a place that has actual catfish and you fish for them, the actual fish. So it took a while to figure out what you were really talking about. Also, just so you know, I am 62 years old and not one to play the kind of video games younger individuals spend so much time playing. The ones I did play were a lot of years ago when these games were in bars and restaurants and we owned a restaurant and we had one of these games and I played it and it was fun. After my daughter did get in school, I started my own business where I worked around her so I could be around to help her as she did have that learning challenge and I helped her a lot with her homework. I honestly never had time to play video games, was always so busy either working or with her or keeping up with my house and my farm. I taught a lot of children and I pretty much worked 7 days a week and helped my daughter.

Your thread just happened to catch my eye and your title sounded like you really wanted to know "are most people like this". Normally, I click on someone's name and look at their about me and try to get familiar with where they are coming from. I confess, I did not do that with you. I am not my best tbh, as I mentioned my father just passed away and there have been some very toxic things I have experienced surrounding that. You also did not seem to know about how narcissistic personality disorder develops, and the overall spectrum as we all have varying degrees of narcissism as we need it to survive and thrive. I have done a lot of reading about it and I have even visited the NPD forum and read some threads here and there as well. I have come across individuals that have the red flags in my life, I just did not know about the label, was not anything I ever used when talking about someone I had experienced on my life path. It was a risk sharing my own experiences as I have learned that that's often not very appreciated if someone has a heavy lean on the narcissistic spectrum. My doing that has a lot to do with where I am right now tbh because of my father and what he meant to me in my life.

This song only could go so far though, do you see that? Abandonment left a sense of only getting to a certain point and not being able to do the rest. Abandonment isn't necessarily leaving physically either, instead it is often how a parent doesn't nurture fully the way a child needs them to. That is why what happened to that young teen had such a deep affect on me.

Your parents never really knew how to give you the right kind of "supply" you needed.

Hi Inaccurate,

While I am sad to hear your personal inside outlook on the world, I commend you for being upfront and honest with us (so long as it is honest).

I am scared of the world because of people like yourself. There is a great mystery in trying to understand people who think and act the way you do - because to put it lightly - I simply would not behave the way you do. Everything you do is against everything I stand for.

I am actually fascinated to understand why you do the things you do. Or if you ever feel empathy, guilt, regret for those who you have hurt.

Also - being that I am an empath and have attracted abuse from individuals much like you've described - can you help me understand what you get from hurting others? Is it joy? Satisfaction?

Please, for the love of GOD help me to understand it all. Because I can't sleep knowing how many people exist in this world who share your world view.

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

I have a family member who thinks like this. I went no contact for 2 years. It was the best thing I ever did. Sensitive people know your kind inside and out. Those would be empaths; something people like yourself know very little about. Sociopaths are all the same. Red flags everywhere and believe me - because of the abuse I have recieved - I know who they are very quickly. So don't be so sure you can exploit and manipulate forever. If people stay in your life it's because they aren't healthy enough to recognize your sadistic ways. That is not a sign that you're good at being a sociopath.

Wow. Just wow.

I would diagnose you Narcisstic and Antisocial Personality Disorder. I don't even have professional status and yet this is clear as day. I feel bad for you. Such a sad case this is.

Have you ever loved a woman?

I will gladly give you my opinion. But first Id like to hear some of your stories. Since we are all anonymous here Id appreciate honesty. And nothing else. Then I can easily explain what the bully who abused you was thinking and what was motivating him or her.

Maybe you should open your own topic or maybe you already have one. Or you can simply post it here.

I never feel guilt or regret for anyone except for myself. My entire psychological makeup is directed towards myself and myself only. I see myself as a great mentor by the way. I make people better all the time, its just that some fail to see it that way..

Thats why they havent seen me for years and very likely never see me again. Even at their funeral. The only way for them to see me again is at my funeral but the odds are quite low

I have noticed that men have been challenged with the amount of power women can have. It can make them uncomfortable competing with women.

You did not address this question, yet.

I know but theres nothing new in there for me. I have read a loooooot about psychology in general, not only narcissism.

I know very well what abandonment is on many levels

A lot of politicians are like this.

[QUOTE]I have an exceptionally high EQ and can use that knowledge to fake such genuine empathy and compassion that nobody would ask questions. I know how humans work and think.[QUOTE]

^^ and this too.

Yes of course. Some surely have an advanced case of NPD. Trump and Putin come to mind. What makes me sure about them having a personality disorder is their utter inability to take criticism on any level. Trump rages when the media isnt too flattery about him. While Putin as a true dictator has simply created a system where criticising him isnt possible anywhere except for the internet. But even that is being worked on. The Duma has passed a law which makes it illegal to "offend" those in power. Both of them like power and only power