I know that many of us struggle with MIs, but I see that people strive to get better. They try to do things. Exercise. Go to therapy ... etc. For me I feel I lost this desire to live. I don't like my life, and I live in psychological pain every day, but at the same time, I don't have a desire to change and to get better, if that makes sense. I used to be lively and energetic in life. I used to have friends and a more positive outlook on life and the future. But in the last 3 years, I have progressively lost the spark of life, and the future has become bleak. What does make people tick? In other words, why do some people have a desire to live, while others don't? and if you lose this desire, can you have it back? What is your experience on this?

[healingme4me]

Because as finite of a light I may feel at times, I cannot say for certain that when in the deepest abyss of depression and loss of joy and meaning that that one fleating moment might not be a beam of light for another. It's a survivalist mindset. I'm sure others have their own reasons and takes on it. Some might liken it to a no fear mindset.

I’ve lost hope in the past couple years. I don’t know how to get it back. This is something I never talk about because it feels like a weakness to me... and it feels like I am ungrateful.

Originally Posted by healingme4me

...It's a survivalist mindset. ...

It's an instinct to survive. I have a survival instinct in that I keep doing the minimum not to die because I don't want to die, but I don't strive to be better (which others seem to be doing) and to live instead of mere surviving. I don't know why. I definitely don't see any light in the future. It's all dark. I have fear. Great fear of Failing. Crippling fear. I think these are connected, because when you are not hopeful and you don't see yourself succeed, it's unlikely you will try.