[DazedandConfused254]

One week ago today I got stopped by the motorcycle cop on my way home and received my very first speeding ticket. Fortunately I was able to contest my penalty with a defensive driving course; no biggie since it was only my first moving violation. All good now right?

Not necessarily. This was a “straw that broke the camels back” moment for me, as a result of numerous stressors and re-emerging triggers that have piled up over the past month. I love driving especially my car which is fun to drive, but I’m going through a moment where I’ve been anxious about getting behind the wheel to eliminate any risks inherent with driving as well as supposedly getting stopped by the cops again. I have not got behind the wheel since my ticket.

My homeboundness has allowed me to regroup, since driving around my current city has become increasingly daunting. Even though people consider me an above average driver, a couple of years of taxing life changes have taken a toll on my mental health, and I still drive safely from A to B, but I’m more likely to become annoyed with bad drivers (but never dangerously lashed out - not even close), and an overall more anxious while I’m driving. So at least this was a much needed wake up call. When I have days off or am under stress staying at home allows me to recharge. Yet these thoughts have extended to a fear of even going out of my own home for a couple of days. However this has improved with watching some movies and sharing a meal and drinks with a BFF from high school who came into town.

Now I may need to run to the grocery store to stock up, and then next weekend I’ll be seeing my grandmother for the big 88 and celebrate the 4th early with other family members. But at the moment I’m still a wreck mentally even though my condition has improved.

I need a shimmer of hope so I can conquer these irrational thoughts.

[DazedandConfused254]

Geez, I thought I would have had help already. Sure does feel nice to be ignored....

[divine1966]

I don’t really check this sub forum often so didnt see it. Didn’t mean to be unsupportive.

I was in a bad accident once with car totalled and me taken to the hospital. My car turned around complete 180 on the other side of the road. It was bad. I was afraid to drive after. I still had to drive as I commute to work but I was shaking the entire time. It did eventually go away in about few months.

Now in your case you just have to stop speeding. It’s an easy fix

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been in bad accidents, and I also felt shaky and scared afterwards. Like divine said, it does go away after a while.

[WishfulThinker66]

Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254

.................driving around my current city has become increasingly daunting. Even though people consider me an above average driver, .......and am overall more anxious while I’m driving.....I need a shimmer of hope so I can conquer these irrational thoughts.

Well I hear you on this. It is sort of related to a thread I just started on horrible thoughts. I share your concern about driving. Only, it just isn't my own driving I am concerned about but it is that of others.

I am told I am a very good driver. While in the military I took a number of courses like defensive driving, safe backing, winter and bad weather driving, and so on. Years later I had a commercial driver's license. But STILL everytime I put my keys in the ignition I worry I might do something wrong.

*****I however have come up with a way to get around this.... I pretend I am taking a driver's exam and road test each time I get behind the wheel. While some might think, 'whoa! wouldn't this cause more anxiety?' I actually find it rather soothing as I think out ever move beforehand. It really does help.

There is one situation though that is still a trigger for me when I drive and that is when my boyfriend is a passenger. He conducts road tests (big rigs) and training for a living. He has never criticised my driving though. Still, I get really anxious with my stomach in knots. As a result I tend to suggest he do the driving

I suggest if you feel up to it maybe trying this pretend-you-are-on-a-road-test approach as I really do find it helpful. I pretend I am talking to the tester about my intentions and what I will do before I conduct them. This also helps me not get so irritated by other drivers as it is only my own driving I am concerned about.

I am currently driving in a city that is new to me and so don't quite know my way around. This has been cause for anxiety too but I map my routes out before hand. Not just the street names, but the major sights to look for.

Great luck. You've got this. Here's a pat on the back.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

Well I hear you on this. It is sort of related to a thread I just started on horrible thoughts. I share your concern about driving. Only, it just isn't my own driving I am concerned about but it is that of others.

I am told I am a very good driver. While in the military I took a number of courses like defensive driving, safe backing, winter and bad weather driving, and so on. Years later I had a commercial driver's license. But STILL everytime I put my keys in the ignition I worry I might do something wrong.

*****I however have come up with a way to get around this.... I pretend I am taking a driver's exam and road test each time I get behind the wheel. While some might think, 'whoa! wouldn't this cause more anxiety?' I actually find it rather soothing as I think out ever move beforehand. It really does help.

There is one situation though that is still a trigger for me when I drive and that is when my boyfriend is a passenger. He conducts road tests (big rigs) and training for a living. He has never criticised my driving though. Still, I get really anxious with my stomach in knots. As a result I tend to suggest he do the driving

I suggest if you feel up to it maybe trying this pretend-you-are-on-a-road-test approach as I really do find it helpful. I pretend I am talking to the tester about my intentions and what I will do before I conduct them. This also helps me not get so irritated by other drivers as it is only my own driving I am concerned about.

I am currently driving in a city that is new to me and so don't quite know my way around. This has been cause for anxiety too but I map my routes out before hand. Not just the street names, but the major sights to look for.

Great luck. You've got this. Here's a pat on the back.

I freak out over the weirdest things when driving. We are going to Canada tomorrow (no biggie, we go back and forth often) but I am freaking out that I am going to get lost. It’s not even a big city. Still. My husband is worse than me, that’s why I am driving. Then I don’t drive on bridges and I am freaking out that for whatever reason tunnel will be closed and we will be forced to drive on the bridge. Ugh embarrassing.

[DazedandConfused254]

Thank you @divine1966 and @downandlonely for giving me hope and reminding me this is only temporary. I guess I had the same feelings to 3 years ago when I got in my first accident (not my fault - someone rear ended me), and that anxiety went away as well.

Divine I hope you don’t get too worried about your triggers that appear while driving, we all have them at some point or another. With all the bad weather this country has been having this year I can see where too much precipitation can possibly weigh down any bridge. And besides I see people slow down all the time across bridges when I’m on a two lane road!

And thank you @WishfulThinker66 for sharing your experiences and encouragement also! One time I implemented the “road test” technique when I drove for the first time following a stern warning from both the officer and my folks (I was 18 at the time) and it proved to be very effective. It’s very understandable where that anxiety originates with your boyfriend in the passenger seat and there’s probably not much room for error in the military either! When I was practicing driving early on, my parents have never criticized my driving. And to this day even with my first ticket they continue to tell me I’m an expert driver. Even then years later my dad frequently gives “tips” on the road that bugs the daylights out of both me and my mom, so dad does all of the driving with my mother and road trips have become much less frequent out of my aggravation with my dad’s “back seat driving”. So I experience something similar as well. Maybe you should also visit my part of the US where driving on the ice is almost non-existent. You can then teach me a thing or two about winter driving! lol

[MickeyCheeky]

I hear you, DazedandConfused254! I'm very anxious about my driving as well! I understand your fear. I believe the more you get back to driving the more the anxiety you get right now will ease. That's my opinion anyway. If the road test approach works for you I'd suggest to try it especially in a stressful situation! I COMPLETELY get you as I'm rather impatient when I get to drive. However that has mostly to do with me not liking driving. I'm sure your case is different! Either way, get back to driving one step at the time and I'm sure your anxiety will gradually disappear. I'm so sorry for not seeing your thread earlier! I deeply apologize for that. Either way KEEP DRIVING AND KEEP FIGHTING! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, DazedandConfused254!

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I hear you, DazedandConfused254! I'm very anxious about my driving as well! I understand your fear. I believe the more you get back to driving the more the anxiety you get right now will ease. That's my opinion anyway. If the road test approach works for you I'd suggest to try it especially in a stressful situation! I COMPLETELY get you as I'm rather impatient when I get to drive. However that has mostly to do with me not liking driving. I'm sure your case is different! Either way, get back to driving one step at the time and I'm sure your anxiety will gradually disappear. I'm so sorry for not seeing your thread earlier! I deeply apologize for that. Either way KEEP DRIVING AND KEEP FIGHTING! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, DazedandConfused254!

Thank you so much Mickey!!! As much as I'd like Uber and such to chaffeur me around my lifestyle doesn't lend itself to being dependent on rides lol So yesterday I actually got behind the wheel for the first time in 10 days and felt just fine! Implemented the road test technique as well as a lot of the methods used in my online DD course and could already see the rewards of doing so! I may be much more cautious about when I want to go out on the road or not but with the way yesterday turned out I feel something good may be going on!