[Seafarer]

For example, if when you were a child you and your parents had known what was causing your anxiety, or your panic disorder, or other condition that made your life so hard? If you had been properly diagnosed, and if there had been treatments, therapies, or medications, that would have made life easier and happier for you, do you think things might have turned out differently?

I was in my 40s when I was diagnosed with MVP Syndrome Dysautonomia, which is the main physical cause of my panic disorder and anxieties. All we knew when I was a kid and young adult was that I was "smart" and also very nervous and very sensitive. I got no sympathy for it from anyone except my parents, but they couldn't walk through life with me holding my hand.

Maybe if I were in a better situation now, in retirement, I might not wonder about this stuff, but as it is, I do, and I wonder if others ever wonder about it too.

[Skeezyks]

In a New York minute, as we used to like to say...

[nicoleflynn]

I would have wanted to not be abused by my mother,and would have liked to have known my father; would have liked to not have been molested and living in poverty....however, I used my life story (of ovrcomering and thriving) and won a scholarship; I started school at 60 and am a Sophomore at 72! Just retired and loving it. I am also a Vietnam era Veteran; the army told me that "life is what you make it." That is still true today!

[lizardlady]

I wouldn't wish a lot of what happened to me on anyone, BUT it all contributed to creating the person I am today. I'm happy with who i am today. I'm a pretty neat person. If i hadn't gone through those things who/what would I be?

To quote one of my favorite songs
"I could have done without the pain, but
I would have missed the dance."

[possum220]

When I was a little kid I always wished that I would wake up the next morning in another family. One that cared. I stopped wishing that long ago. But hey, if it's on the table now why not?

Or maybe I could come back as a pampered cat.

[*Beth*]

Honestly, I would have restructured most of my life. From severe (and yes, I mean severe...ugly) childhood abuse to choices I made because I was unskilled, naive, and functionally retarded (I'm using the word "retarded" literally, to mean that my emotional abilities and functionality was stunted).

Getting married at age 18, for example, because I had to get out of my childhood home. Yet, I had no known way to support myself. So my husband (age 34 when we were married) has controlled my financial life, all of my adult life.

As a result of having married so young my marriage is difficult - and I have had several painful affairs over the past 38 years.

And so it went. I loved being a mom and managed, somehow, to raise children that have become highly functional adults. But I very rarely see them; I suspect they are ashamed of me, on some level.

As for having bipolar disorder; oddly, I'm not sure I would change that. BD has given me the ability to see, hear, and generally perceive a world that is probably far more magnificent than the normal world is. Also, I've learned so much, being bipolar.

So yes, there is a lot of my life that I would change. I think mostly, I would have respected myself so that the significant people in my life also respected me. Being "strong" is something born of necessity. I would have preferred to be successful.

[Seafarer]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Honestly, I would have restructured most of my life. From severe (and yes, I mean severe...ugly) childhood abuse to choices I made because I was unskilled, naive, and functionally retarded (I'm using the word "retarded" literally, to mean that my emotional abilities and functionality was stunted).

Getting married at age 18, for example, because I had to get out of my childhood home. Yet, I had no known way to support myself. So my husband (age 34 when we were married) has controlled my financial life, all of my adult life.

As a result of having married so young my marriage is difficult - and I have had several painful affairs over the past 38 years.

And so it went. I loved being a mom and managed, somehow, to raise children that have become highly functional adults. But I very rarely see them; I suspect they are ashamed of me, on some level.

As for having bipolar disorder; oddly, I'm not sure I would change that. BD has given me the ability to see, hear, and generally perceive a world that is probably far more magnificent than the normal world is. Also, I've learned so much, being bipolar.

So yes, there is a lot of my life that I would change. I think mostly, I would have respected myself so that the significant people in my life also respected me. Being "strong" is something born of necessity. I would have preferred to be successful.

You sound pretty successful to me! You managed to get away from your childhood home. You've raised children to become highly functional adults. You've claimed your BD as something that's let you see, hear, and perceive a magnificent world, and you've learned from it.

Yep, I'd say you're succeeding.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Seafarer

You sound pretty successful to me! You managed to get away from your childhood home. You've raised children to become highly functional adults. You've claimed your BD as something that's let you see, hear, and perceive a magnificent world, and you've learned from it.

Yep, I'd say you're succeeding.

How tremendously kind of you, Seafarer. Your comment means a great deal to me.

[5stacks]

Hm can I stop myself from being born? Lol

[whatsthat]

Heck yes I would change a few things. I'd ask for help when I needed help.

Yes. YES. YES!!!

[Raindropvampire]

I would like to see how my life would have been different or if it would have been the same if I hadn't gone through all the varied abuse while a kid/teenager. Just morbid curiosity but I''ll never know.

[sarahsweets]

I wouldnt. Even my alcohol relapse made me a better person.

I wouldn't change my past at this point as the person I am now, at my current age. However, if I was still a young teen and didn't know what I would go on to do/have, I'm sure I would have wanted several things to be different.

I love my husband very much. What if by changing my past I never met him? That would be sad. But of course if I never knew of him and knew what a gift a person like him could be, I wouldn't miss him. No, I wouldn't want to go back in time, even despite the hard times.

[eskielover]

Wouldn't change it but sure would have loved knowing then what I know now about what I was living with. Probably wouldn't have made me tolerate my dad or my ex-husband any better but at least I would have known their behaviors were NOT NORMAL & the problems weren't mine.

But the bad choices I made in the past were all paving my life's road for the really good place I am in now, living alone on my own farm, taking care of myself & my animals. Finally the perfect life for me.....far from that past.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Seafarer

For example, if when you were a child you and your parents had known what was causing your anxiety, or your panic disorder, or other condition that made your life so hard? If you had been properly diagnosed, and if there had been treatments, therapies, or medications, that would have made life easier and happier for you, do you think things might have turned out differently?

I was in my 40s when I was diagnosed with MVP Syndrome Dysautonomia, which is the main physical cause of my panic disorder and anxieties. All we knew when I was a kid and young adult was that I was "smart" and also very nervous and very sensitive. I got no sympathy for it from anyone except my parents, but they couldn't walk through life with me holding my hand.

Maybe if I were in a better situation now, in retirement, I might not wonder about this stuff, but as it is, I do, and I wonder if others ever wonder about it too.

Absolutely I would change what the my sixth grade teacher humiliated me in and left me behind while those who bully me were allowed to go on the field trip that cause me to have anxiety and depression had I know I would be harassed on YouTube that cause me to have more anxiety attack I would change it all of I could!

[WishfulThinker66]

I would change my mothers.

[bpcyclist]

I would go back and not have the car crash I had. It destroyed my life.

[Anonymous42019]

During my bereavement I would have desired the past to definitely reverse itself, during which my parents died, my husband died of cardiac arrest though he was a tyrant, and I was to have that dreadful accident.

In the ideal world, one would dearly have loved to change the past, but that reality will never happen. Except what did, changed the course of my life to make me happy again. More stable, too. To think...I very nearly stayed on the bottle except my dearest friend steered me away. She greatly helped my daughter. And a counsellor helped me find my direction. My life was not without challenge, there were many tears and I am happy to have toughed it out.

Except perhaps I would have liked changing mothers. She was a manipulative old bat, but never achieved her way with me.

[TishaBuv]

There are some parts I’d like to change. But no I probably wouldn’t change anything because what if changing would make things worse?

[QuietTulip]

I would take better care of my body and think more about my future., make practical plans. I tended to be too impulsive when I was young and did not think about how what I did then would affect me now.

[Amy3boys]

Yes, I would stop my mom from marrying my abusive stepdad. I probably wouldn't have my mental health issues if she hadn't married him (he abused me for 9 years).

[randomer123]

Yes there are so many things I wish I could change, but I know I can't so I don't think about it much. The past is over now, all I have is the present and I have to try not to make the same mistakes again.

Like in my teens when I spent far too much time messing around on online forums, making my own and making fake accounts to make it look more popular. If I hadn't done that I could have put the time to better use, like my GCSE's, my other hobbies and interests etc.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve come to peace with my past so what happened happened and that’s it. I can’t change anything. How I came to that point I don’t know. It did almost feel like I personally snapped out of it and just got over things. I think once I got my job things started getting better and I started forgetting stuff.

[WishfulThinker66]

I would have had my mom confronted about her emotional abuse and emotional neglect inflicted on me. I would confide in a teacher if I had to live it all over again, and keep at it until someone finally listened and stood up and advocated for me. I would not have kept quiet and embarrassed of it all in fear. The woman needed to be told off and set straight. If only I'd had the courage to tell an adult back then.