[ak1728]

I have bigger more existential questions I am trying to find answers for but need to get this one off my chest and I will try to be as objective as possible. I got assigned to this project about a couple of months back which was being led by someone at the same rank as me. We are both due for a promotion during the upcoming review. Ever since I joined the project this guy has tried to put me down, been rude and critical of my work and what not. I work as a software engineer and to begin with I wasn't familiar with the technology of the project. I made it clear at the very outset that I need some time to learn and yet he assigned me enough work to keep me busy the entire day. Trying to accomplish something when you're unfamiliar takes more time than usual which leaves less time to dedicate to learning which means even longer to get to full productivity and the cycle continues. All along he's made critical comments saying I take too much time because according to his assessment (he been on this project for 5 years), it should take a couple of hours while it takes a couple of days for me. Plus he gives me incomplete information to do my work making me chase him. At one time he kept me through lunch whereas to somene else who just got started he asked if they need to step out for lunch. Sometimes he gives me information a couple days before the task is due saying it's simple enough to be done in a day. I have spoken about this to another colleague in the team. This guy said he spoke to him but he only seem to calm down temporarily. I also spoke to my manager and asked to be transfered to another project saying this does not align to my long term goals. I did not want to mention his behavior lest my manager thinks I am diffcult to work with. I have also confronted him several times and tried to be as polite as possible but he keeps going on. I am putting in good faith effort for 6-7 hours everyday and spending the rest to learn and improve, but it's just not enough and he seems to be critical of it. I'm not sure I can do anything more. I get the feeling he's doing this to get promoted because he knows he's directly competing with me. At this point given that I am feeling overwhelmed (we just had a baby) I don't even care about promotion. Just damm tired and exhausted of all this.

[sarahsweets]

I think it may be worth it to directly ask the guy what his deal is. Conversation doesnt necessarily mean confrontation. I understand your hesitation at telling your boss-no one wants to be seen as not a team player. Do you think this guy would be open to a truce?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, ak1728! Please hang in there. What did your manager say to you when you've asked him/her to be transferred to another project? Did he/she listen to you? Did he/she refuse? I believe you have every right to ask that! I'd suggest to just keep doing your best like you're already doing but don't stress yourself over it! Doing our best is all that we humans can do after all and it's more than enough! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, ak1728!

[WishfulThinker66]

It sounds like your employer is a company of some size. Surely then there must be a Human Resources officer within it? Surely too there must be an EAP to turn to. Start a journal to document every single incident with examples.

[ak1728]

So ..
A status update...I had my annual review last month and looks like this other guy said a lot of negative things about me. He got promoted and I ended up with the second lowest rating possible. I have another post with the ramifications of this but suffice to say I am looking for another job.

[InsomniaViaHaldol]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think some people are just born a**holes and when it comes to promotions people will step on whoever's throat they need to in order to take that step up.

I hope you don't take it too personally. I'm sure you are a solid employee and don't deserve that kind of treatment.

Originally Posted by ak1728

So ..
A status update...I had my annual review last month and looks like this other guy said a lot of negative things about me. He got promoted and I ended up with the second lowest rating possible. I have another post with the ramifications of this but suffice to say I am looking for another job.

Well, that stinks. Like InsomniaViaHaldol points out, some people are just born assholes and they for whatever reason have the good fortune of knowing how to network with the right people at the right time, how to manipulate other people to see them in a positive, error-free light, and how to squash the good guys without any repercussions.

We've all experienced it in the workplace, in our families, from our friends and acquaintances. Those types of people are bullies at the end of the day. And bullies tend to win despite the efforts to thwart them.

Sorry this happened to you. Look for another job. That's your best escape plan.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by ak1728

So ..
A status update...I had my annual review last month and looks like this other guy said a lot of negative things about me. He got promoted and I ended up with the second lowest rating possible. I have another post with the ramifications of this but suffice to say I am looking for another job.

Congrats on the new baby. A new baby can change everything and is quite an adjustment and can certainly lead to less sleep. What benefits the child the most is having fun, play, good memories with dad, positive memories and not dad being stressed all the time. Do your best to save for college and don't let it break you down. Though we did that for our child, it still was not enough. Some years more can be saved, some years not as much. It's so important your child feel loved and have positive memories with you.

Sorry the JERK ended up getting the promotion. It's what he wanted and gave you a hard time so he could complain about you making his chances of getting promoted better. He sounds like a real snake. Unfortunatley, they be out there in them woods.

Keep learning new skills in your field so you can better protect yourself.

Remember this too, "Losers focus on winners and winners focus on winning".
Keep your focus going forward.